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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DS starting primary school next week and feel so anxious!

19 replies

sjd84 · 28/08/2017 21:56

My DS starts primary school next week, I am feeling so anxious about it already, I'm managing to worry about every single aspect of it! I would like to fast forward until he is all settled in!

Any hints or tips to make it as smooth as possible for DS (and me)

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MarmaladeIsMyJam · 28/08/2017 21:57

What exactly are you worried about?

SparkyBlue · 28/08/2017 21:58

Oh I hear you. My dd is starting and I am a bundle of nerves. She is such a lovely little girl but she is very timid and I hope she settles in and makes friends.

PerspicaciaTick · 28/08/2017 22:01

The hardest thing is being excited, happy, reassuring Mummy so that your DS goes in to school thinking it is a great adventure - while feeling like jelly on the inside. I'm sure you'll do a grand job and your DS will settle quickly and happily - his new teacher will be working very hard to make sure the transition is as smooth as possible.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 28/08/2017 22:01

The teachers will have settled in hundreds of 4 year olds they know what they are doing. Do not worry about it. Just go with the flow and remember you might think it's a big deal little Jimmy hasn't got his PE kit on the right day or you forgot to pay his dinner money on time or he ends up having an accident because he was too busy playing to go to the toilet (I did) but the teachers have seen it all before.

Original poster

sjd84 · 29/08/2017 06:58

@MarmaladeIsMyJam everything, but I am a natural worrier and I don't like not being in control!

Thank you all, I'm trying not to worry, but I'm so good at it! I've got the first week off so trying to plan nice things to do in the day as don't normally get any time to myself.

OP posts:

MiaowTheCat · 29/08/2017 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scampimom · 29/08/2017 16:56

Well if you find out how to do it, can you let me know?? I'm convinced I've forgotten something vital and she'll turn up and get no dinner, or will be required to play outside in waterproofs and I haven't got them, and/or will not have the correct t-shirt for PE, and won't play with anyone. Also, I will be thought of as the bad mother because I work, and I work an hour away and won't be doing any pick-ups, and OH GOD I'M A MESS.

DH will be taking her to school, and it bothers he not a jot. I'm the sort of person who gets the heebie jeebies going somewhere I've never been before and somehow getting it wrong (going in the wrong door, turning up at the wrong time), so it's probably best he's the one doing all that stuff. He'll just turn up and do what everyone else is doing.

Meanwhile I've not slept for WEEKS.

Didiplanthis · 30/08/2017 00:09

My DH took a week off work last year as we expected DT's to be dreadful ( with good reason ! ) and set slightly older sibling off. As it was all 3 marched in together and we stood there feeling superfluous !

BubblesBuddy · 30/08/2017 00:17

Goodness me! Get a grip the whole lot of you. Have these children not been to nursery? Anyone would think they were flying to the moon! Just take them in and leave. Go and get a coffee and look forward to their first day news. First day at school is all about your child feeling it is a normal day. First day at school is not about you, the adults. Just make sure you turn up on time, have what your child needs and stay positive at all times. There are far worse things you could be facing than first day at school.

Original poster

sjd84 · 30/08/2017 07:00

@Didiplanthis I'm hoping this is how DS will be too! He goes to nursery at the minute, but took a while to settle in there and none of his nursery friends are going to school with him.

@BubblesBuddy thanks, I know, unfortunately I am a bit of a worrier and have a tendency to get over anxious about things. I don't have any mum's to talk to about it in real life so was hoping to reduce my anxieties on number

OP posts:

MiaowTheCat · 30/08/2017 07:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ankleswingers · 30/08/2017 07:28

Bubblesbuddy

It's comments like yours that's putting people off from this site; unnecessary and mean.

If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

Close the door on your way out.

Traalaa · 30/08/2017 11:08

I think you're being a bit harsh on Bubblesb. Though you're right, she could be a bit more sympathetic.. A bit of what she says I very much agree with. Don't build it into a huge deal and especially don't if you have a nervous or shy child (I did). Be matter of fact and enthusiastic (obviously!), but also let them be worried if they need to be. If you go on and on about how wonderful school is going to be, then they have a tough time settling/ take against it, well you're instantly making them feel a bit inadequate for not meeting your expectations. Just tread softly, reassure them, be kind and listen. They will be fine though. Mine was.

MiaowTheCat · 30/08/2017 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corythatwas · 30/08/2017 12:18

distraction, distraction, distraction

plan something fun and absorbing that will keep your mind occupied

Original poster

sjd84 · 30/08/2017 18:20

Thanks all, I'm definitely prepared to plaster a big smile on my face, am used to doing that from when he started nursery. I've been showing him pictures of the school and talking about what he'll do, but avoiding making school sound too awesome!

Me and DH will plan a day out somewhere after we've dropped him off, and then I have a long list of jobs to do around the house and work if that doesn't distract me enough!

OP posts:

Original poster

sjd84 · 30/08/2017 18:20

Me and DH will plan a day out somewhere after we've dropped him off, and then I have a long list of jobs to do around the house and work if that doesn't distract me enough!

OP posts:

BubblesBuddy · 31/08/2017 00:56

sjd84. I had no intention of upsetting you and from your comment to me, I didn't think I had. I am probably old enough to be your Mum! It is not harsh to say the day is about settling the child into a new environment but it really goes well for most children. Believe me, bringing up children has far more pitfalls than first day at school!

I cannot see why the majority of parents worry so much about their children starting school. Very many children do not have extra needs and as nearly every child has been to nursery it really is not the jolt we had when we started. Reception staff are brilliant and experienced with this process. You really have nothing to worry about. If you keep thinking about what can go wrong, it will just keep going round in your head. So, what you are planning will help and I wish you well.

Traalaa · 31/08/2017 10:23

Bubbles, logically of course you're right as most kids will be fine, etc, etc, but the reason the OP started this thread is that she's anxious and wanted company to get her through. I'd bet most people whose kids are starting in reception are feeling the same. Starting school is yes, ever so normal, but it's also a big step in life, so momentous too and parents are bound to be nervous. You sound like you're dismissing those nerves as slightly ridiculous. Which is why people got so cross with you. You can't tell people not to feel anxious if they are. They just are....I know I was. It's not daft, it's just part of being a parent.

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