Private -what are we paying for?

[Sallyssss]

We have a tough decision. At the last minute - after agreeing to a small prep school, the local council has offered us a "good" school. Other than the glaringly obvious class sizes, is there any other benefit of a private school? My son missed out on reception (as we have been abroad), so at the moment he has additional needs in that he is very behind. Would state or private be more beneficial? We can afford private, but undoubtedly it would impact our current lifestyle a little.

Which school is best able to deal with his additional needs? That is the absolute key question here.

Some private schools are brilliant with children with additional needs-many aren't. As them what you would have to pay for in terms of diagnostic testing and extra help and so on-this is often an "extra". As them whether they will be happy to keep him if he never quite "catches up"- some private schools are very results driven.

Talk to the state school about resources and what they will be able to do to support your ds. Schools are very cash strapped at the moment, and often can't do what they would like to do, particularly if the school has a lot of sen children.

I'm in a good position to answer this because my older DD went to a small private prep from reception through to the end of year two when she got offered a place in a local outsanding village school.

Then DD2 attended only the village school.

I would honestly advise the state school. My older DD I think DID benefit in terms of the more intensive teachings in that she learned to read and write and spell very well at an early age and those skills have stayed with her.

But the state school had other things to offer. Including a broader choice of friends who were more local...the prep had children from a very wide area which made socialising tricky.

The state school sent a number of children on to grammar schools after year 6 but all these children saw private tutors.

We moved abroad so that wasn't on our list of priorities. I have no doubt that either of my DDs could have passed the 11plus following their time at the state school with the help of a tutor.

I advise you to take the state offer and begin saving for private secondary plus using a tutor.

Unless there is an outstanding secondary which you're certain to get into?

Secondary is FAR more important than anything else in retrospect.

Just noticed the additional needs issue.

I would speak to the state school...make an appointment to find out what they can offer him in terms of help. Some are excellent for this. Our small prep was NOT excellent and one family in particular felt very sidelined by them...they left for a good state primary where more one to one was available.

You have to look at the individual schools, what you think constitutes a good education, and where you think your son will thrive.

Why did you choose the prep in the first place? What do you like about this specific school?

Why do you describe the state school as 'good'? Have you visited it, and what do/don't you like about it?

Depends on the school. No help, I know. Have the private school got a plan to help him catch up? If so it might be worth it, as in a small class he will get more attention.
Was he in kindergarten when you were abroad, because if so he might not be as far behind as you think.
In the end it is down to the individual child and the particular schools you are looking at. Have you viewed the State school and asked them how they will help him catch up?
When Ddil was looking at schools for DGS she went to the local Outstanding school (which she attended as a child) and really hated the atmosphere, so DGS is going somewhere else, but another relative highly recommends the same school.

The two things for me are independence and choice. You are not at the whim of the local council, catchment areas or anything else. You can choose an independent school that suits your particular child.

Independence is also great. The school decides what to offer, whether to do sats (thank god most don't!), who to employ, what to spend money on. They are in charge of what sort of school they want to be and what they offer.

If a not for profit school, then all fee money is spent on your child's education. That is often two or three times what the state system spends per child. The vast majority of any school budget is staffing and getting this right is key for me.

One thing to bear in mind is if you've already accepted a place for the prep for this year, you'll be liable for fees until Christmas, even if you give notice now. But you might decide that's worth it as a one off?

Whether or not this particular prep school is better depends on the school. Presumably they have suggested or you've asked how they will help your son catch up?

I agree with the poster above- you really need to look (and talk) to each individual school in this scenario and see which can meet your child's needs best. Some private schools won't have the skills/interest in helping your son with his additional needs- others could be perfect at helping him catch up given the smaller class sizes. It really depends on their ethos. People often say state schools are better at dealing with SEN. However, schools are under huge financial pressure now. Unless your son is likely to be eligible for an EHCP and get funding for additional support, you might find him getting 'lost' in a big state Y1 class. You really need to speak to each school, being very honest about your son's needs, and see what they say.

Surely it depends on the school? One of my friends sent all 4 of hers to a very good private school despite having Outstanding primary and secondary state schools near her. After one of hers became unhappy at the private school she went to look at the State School and decided that the only thing that was really better at the private school was the quality of the school dinners!

I am a great believer in state education so possibly not the best person to advise you. I appreciate it's difficult as schools are currently closed for summer but I would be asking the head teacher what support will be on offer for your ds to enable him to catch up with his peers.

My dc went to our local primary and there were some children who joined the school from abroad at various points. Ds1 had a girl in his class who joined in Y5 not speaking a word of English. The support she got from school was amazing and she had completely caught up by the time they moved on to secondary school.

A friend of mine lived in the US for a while where her children started school. When she returned to the UK the (state) school allowed her ds to go into the year below the one he should be in as that was more in line with where he'd been in the States. It might be worth considering that option if your child has a summer birthday. Not all state schools will accommodate that though.

It's worth thinking about the social aspect of school as well. Does the prep school take from a wide area? If so, friends won't be local and play dates will be harder to arrange. I always loved the fact that my dc had friends a couple of minutes walk from where we lived as they all go to the local school.

I hope that your son settles in easily wherever you decide to place him.

"he has additional needs in that he is very behind"

Could you clarify if you mean you suspect some sort of additional needs but are awaiting diagnosis. In which case, have you asked both schools about their experience and approach to both the condition in general and your DS's current specific manifestations of it?

Or do you mean you think he probably doesn't have additional needs but is likely to be somewhat behind as he has received a different education when abroad? Have you asjked each school if they have much experience of this, and what they do to help pupils settle and catch up?

Is he bilingual? Have you asked both schools how they work with the different linguistic skills and language development pace of bilingual pupils? How many bilingual (and ESOL) pupils does each have?

What do you mean by additional needs? Do mean he has diagnosed SEN or simply that, having missed out on Reception, he will have missed out on a year of school compared to others in the class?

We chose the private as it was small and nurturing. 13 in a class and not selective. I'm going to call them on Tuesday to discuss what they have in place for my ds. I'll be honest - it was a matter of who would have him, rather than us being to choosy!

The good state school has a "good" ofsted, great stats (top in borough), and most importantly I've spoken to two mums who have children there and "can't say a bad word about the school".

the borough is arranging for us to see the school.

Also, as for my sons additional needs. He missed out on reception and he has some speech difficulties (a severe stammer). I am very worried about bullying as he gets older. We are starting a new therapy in September, so I'm hopeful that will help.

Independent school all the way, much smaller class sizes (9 in a class vs 33 in the local state school), fantastic facilities (play cricket/tennis/fencing/swimming pool etc) freedom wth the curriculum. Out of 9 kids 7 got into grammar school.
I was chatting to a teacher last week who teaches in a state primary and she said it broke her heart that there were more able kids in her class that she simple couldn't push because she was dealing with the kids who were struggling. She felt the good kids were bored.

13 is too small a year group in my experience. You need around 18-20 in a class to have a full range of discussions. I have sent 3 children to prep schools and would avoid such a small school, the risk of social isolation is too great.

I agree 13 in a class is too small unless there are at least 2 classes in the year group. Around 20 is the ideal number in a prep school especially a one form entry one or else the pool of children is just too small either socially or to get teams together. 2 od have done prep, one has done state primary all the way through and then outstanding comp for all. The prep wins hands down (2 different schools), the pastoral care, emphasis on core basics, teaching each child to their ability and absolutely no SATS were streets ahead of what we got in the state primary. Having said that, maybe we were unlucky to you do have to look at both schools. Both the prep schools were /are superb with children with some SEN (ADHD, Tourette's, aspergers) but less good with children with learning difficulties which meant that they struggled to reach national minimum standards

If he's behind then state school with a private tutor would be a good compromise. But there is no easy answer. And I agree that it depends on schools and individual circumstances.

Private school given his speech issues. Far more individual attention. 13 not too small.

Additional subjects, different focus, e.g. at my prep school all the children do daily sport, with a proper sports teacher. Alongside a proper academic curriculum as well, but not many state schools would do daily sport.

"Private school given his speech issues. Far more individual attention."

Provided the invividual attention includes the specialist help he needs. And be aware that it might be classed as an "extra".

I'd go state and have a private tutor if you need to.
Spend some of the money you would have on private education on educational trips etc for him.
Some have mentioned here that state schools don't have the facilities, this is because they don't have the money. If there is a particular something your child needs why not buy it for the school?

When is his birthday? Why don't you use the Prep but put him down a year so he can do Reception?

If you intend to leave him in non-selective private schools throughout it will very likely be fine for him to stay out of year group.

At the risk of repeating what others have said, look at the individual school, not "state vs private." They are all different.

If your local state school is good, I would go with that. And if it is individual attention you want, I would look into getting some specialist one-on-one help (tutoring/speech therapy, that kind of thing) for specific, targeted areas, like helping him with his speech difficulties.

I'm sure you'll make the right choice . Starting school a year late is unlikely to be a problem academically for a child of average intelligence ( other countries start school at 6 or 7 anyway ) . I'm only guessing of course but I side with you on the bullying issue and feel as he wont have the social advantage of already spending time at school coupled with his stammer he will feel safer and better nurtured in a smaller class - he certainly won't be able to hide - best of luck . As my daughters mixed prep ' chucked the boys out ' at 8 she was one of 11 in her final three years at primary and loved school - still does