Rant addressed to all those who have been moaning about behaviour rewards - I'm pi$$ed off with you all

[shimmy21]

Ok - nobody around on education threads so I'm safe to blow my top.
Will all the people who moan incessantly about positive reward schemes in their dc's school being unfair just get a bl33ding grip.
Just because your child hasn't yet earned a sticker or got a smiley face or been star of the day does not mean they are being publicly humiliated and ashamed.
Do you really expect teachers to teach a class full of 25 children of different abilities, interests, personalities and behavioural quirks without setting certain ground-rules of what is desired and not desired behaviour?
Your dc may be cute, boisterous, chatty and ask incessant questions. At home this may be charming and appropriate. In a literacy lesson it may prevent 24 other children from learning anything. Do you propose that the teacher does not in some way try to encourage the necessary behaviour and discourage what is unhelpful?
So your child is the only one who has not earned a petal on their flower and you feel this is damaging to their self-esteem. Would you prefer the unwanted behaviour your child is no doubt exhibiting to be punished instead?
If your child got their spellings wrong in a test would you expect the teacher to mark them right so as not to upset your child? I guess you would expect the teacher to establish what the child is finding difficult and help them to learn those words with praise and encouragement for the parts they are doing right. Same with behaviour, surely?
fgs just think about what you are asking. If you don't want positive behaviour rewards and presumably you don't want punishments and you want your children educated in calm and well-controlled classes then you are asking the well-nigh impossible.

Have you considered home ed?

But harpsi, you get a sticker for trying to use a word you couldn't spell and for not dumming down your prose.

Always accentuate the positive

I find the top blowing a little odd there.

Sometimes it works if implemented well, sometimes it doesn't - but its often about the teaching. I hate this idea that teaching and teaching methods should be totally above comment from parents - either like it or home ed.

In my dds nursery they have a 'golden cushion' that a child gets to sit on if they've been good. It's a good way of controlling the noisy children who don't want to sit down and join in. The quiet well behaved children often get overlooked, and it's a negative thing for them, they're not being rewarded, in a way theyre being punished for good behaviour because they learn that only the noisiest get noticed. I have a quiet child who is rarely rewarded but has never been told off. She did feel that she must be doing something wrong - and when i spoke to the teachers they admitted that the reward system was a means of controlling the unruly.

reminds me of harry hill

primary school learner of the weeeeeeeeekkk

Hi Handlemecarefully,
If you think that Shimmy's reaction to parents feed-back is bad, have you taken a look at the TES website/chatroom?
Apparently its a place teachers go to "let of steam" I came across it by accident, and believe me, when you read some of the nasty, condescending, arrogant posts from teachers about their pupils and parents it is truly shocking!What is even more shocking is that we, as parents freely leave our kids in the care of these people.

I for one was not at all put out by Shimmy's suggestion that we should consider Home Ed.
We have done just that with our youngest child, and it's the best decision we have ever made. We decided on Home Ed long before I came accross TES, but if I ever have days when I wonder if I have done the right thing I just spend 10 mins on TES and I thank God for Home Ed.

just to clarify - I did not post in answer to parent feedback. I'm not a teacher although was one once many years ago.

I was posting in response to the several threads there have been over the last few weeks where parents complain that their child is being pubicly humiliated by not being given a behaviour reward. I just think it is such a short-sighted and un 'social' attitude. Every child is unique and a good teacher recognises this and each child's particular strengths. But this is not the same as being afraid to reward positive behaviour for fear of upsetting those who are creating disruption for all the others.

The home ed comment was flippant, but I do seriously believe that if you don't believe in the ethos of school where for the sake of the 'many' children have to conform to certain behavioural constraints that may be against your beliefs - then home ed is a good alternative.

oh god - publicly not pubicly

Well, thank Christ you're not a teacher

In all fairness teachers are people too and they probably get pissed off with their jobs just like we do - god if they came on here and had a look round can you imagine what they might think of parents in general??

I think whilst parents shouldn't just lay down and conform to what schools think is best, in a class of anything from 10-45 kids, how do you expect them to please everyone? They have to try and come up with a system and methodology that keeps an equilibrium that allows all the kids to be taught and to learn and maybe they have seen first hand that stickers etc does. We only have the experience with our own not groups, unless we are teachers. I can't see why everyone has such issue with reward systems other than the public side of it but then tell me who didn't tell the person next to them that they'd just got a special smiley face in their book? IMO schools are in a rock and a hard place. One minute they're doing too much then its not enough. Thank god I'm not a teacher - what a thankless task.

Exactly countto10.

Good post Countto10.

Hogwash Counto10

You can't please everyone

I suspect you weren't trying to

I don't care that they're unfair really and i do sympathise with the lot of teachers. But after almost 4 years of watching my kids in school I'm coming to the conclusion that reward systems are too prevalent- there is an endemic culture of Pavlovian reward systems preventing children from seeing the point of anything, imo. Even their extra curricular clubs are run like this and they're supposed to be optional things done for the fun of it. My children often seem utterly fixated on the reward- they want to be on the top table, to finish the reading scheme, to win the certificate, etc. Their anxiety about this prevents them from learning to love activities for their own sake, imo. I wish they would sometimes want to do things because they love them and sometimes refuse (within the bounds of good behaviour, natch) to engage because they think it's not their bag sometimes. At home they do. At school, no.

Good point, scummymummy. There are quite a few in education who hold that opinion too.

@ scummys post

I couldn't agree more

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