WWYD? Should we move schools or not?

[sheep73]

I have been having sleepness nights over this and need to resolve it one way or another before next term.. sorry if this is long..

We have 2 DCs. DS1 who will go into Yr3 and DS2 who will start reception at the village school (200m up the road) in Sept. Both are happy there (DS2 has been in pre-school there).

We are not totally aligned with the school's ethos which seems to be very laid back but have decided to go with it til the end of Yr 3 and then move DS1 to independent school which will be a 1 hr mini bus ride away. However now we are not sure we can wait that long or that we want DS2 to go to the school at all..

1. The infants teacher has been made redundant so now DS2 will be taught (mixed reception and nursery) by part-time head (reality is 20%) so mostly experienced nursery nurse and a parent who has been employed as a TA (no early years experience and her own child will also be in the reception class at the same time - very small school so mixed classes).

2. KS1 teacher was ok but TBH we were not that delighted and the final straw you will see in 3).

3. At the end of term I flicked through DS1's exercise book. He did a project on jungle animals and at school had cut and pasted pictures from the internet and printed them out and stuck them in his book. one of the pictures is accompanied by text from the internet (all cut and pasted as one IYSWIM). Anyhow the text includes words that are wholly inappropriate for 6/7 year olds. My partner traced the website and its totally not appropriate for children with lots of the use of the 'F' word. Now the text under the image my child would not have understood so that is ok but the upsetting bit was on the first page of this mini 'project' the teacher wrote a note indicating she had read it and it was good work. WTF!!. So we went to see the head and she was shocked. However she seems clueless about IT and internet the the solution of the internet filter provider was to block this specific website for the school!

4. My partner went to see the teacher at the end of term and said we are not really confident with what is going on at the school and she came out with a load of crap about our child (that they are anxious and struggle to make friends) which has never been mentioned at 3 years of parents evening.

I now have no confidence in the school and their ability to teach (or mark work), keep my kids safe on the internet.

The snag is the alternatives are not great:

• Private school 1 hour minibus ride (DS2 aged 4 is too young for this).
• Outstanding state primary which is a 30min each way drive away. The burden of this commute will lie with my partner as I am working.

what should we do? Do we continue and hope there are no more screwups and things improve? Should we complain to the governors about the IT thing? Do we believe the school that they know what they are doing? Should we cut our losses before DS2 starts? DS1 will be sad to move but what if our relationship with the school has broken down can we continue?

I moved mine after the alarma bells practically exploded in my head. We left in yr 3, leaving a class of 29. Others have followed and now that class has 19 and still the problem hasn't been addressed. In our case one of the children in my son's class was terrorising the other children. His mother was their teacher. It was a ridiculous and untenable position and moving was the only option. Three school years on and my son is still traumatised by it.

I left ds in his secondary school when alarm bells started ringing. I left him when they were defending me.
His breakdown meant I could no longer ignore and I'll never forgive myself for 'giving it more chances'

His school is 20 minutes drive away and so yes, meeting friends requires the taxi if mum - but that's very little compared to the huge improvement in his mental health.

We have a very similar scenario. DH and I are both in teachers, DH in school leadership. We have raised our concerns with acting head, governors, LEA, diocese, children's commissioner! We have decided to see if ds settles in sept and if not will move at oct half term. It's a shitty situation where you feel a bit helpless and are made to feel like you are being unreasonable/misinformed even when we are not! My fave line from the head when we discussed the reasons why my son was so unhappy and unsettled at times was that he clearly had a personality clash with his teacher! He was 5!!! Nothing to do with the fact that by feb half term he had had 5 teachers and all but 1 ta in the school covering the class! Amazing that he blossomed with the long term supply his class had from Feb by July! I'm dreading him going in to a 2/3 split class with the same bloody teacher! If she's back in September that is and As a teacher I know it will be a phased return which is never going to be easy! She's returning to a new classroom, split class, new curriculum, new head teacher, new deputy head, two line managers and a looming visit from ofsted!!! We are lucky that the local school is a very good one but we've chosen to send him to a faith school slightly further away! DD is due to start nursery in October so if there is lots of disruption, both will
Move to the local school at the same time! There has been a max exodus from the school and I think we could be next! Go with your gut instinct! Writing this I'm amazed I've not moved him!

Plus ds has friends locally from our estate too. Many go to the school he left. Many of them are leaving as well!
In fact it's nice they don't all attend same school as none of the school drama gets bought home!

Temporaryanonimity..... I wonder if we are the same school! That happened at my childs school but I'm an older class! 🤔

Sounds like it could be now that you mention the diocese. ST d?

👍🏼

We left the school piefacedclique. My younger one misses it but honestly I don't at all. We are at a much bigger school now, with an excellent head. She was horrified when I told her what had happened. The school needs a serious intervention.

Well done you! Head teacher of my school and all our primary colleagues are telling us to go! We are losing 5 this year from ds class alone! A thought a change in governors would be the intervention needed but new chair is out of touch with reality! Very sad! Glad your two are happier 😘

I would move DS1 to the private school to start this September, if possible. Seems wrong to me to move him to the 30 min away school if you are going to move him to the independent after one year anyway. As a more general point, there will usually be more new starters in Year 3 than Year 4 in an independent, as many parents take the decision to move the DC after the end of infants.
I would also consider moving DS2 to the private this September too, providing of course that you can afford it, and if DH is able to do the school run. If he can't, I wouldn't send a 4 year old on an hour long bus journey so would move him to the 30 min away school.

I don't think 3 is as big an issue as you think. Yes the school blocker should have blocked it but things do get through. I was helping a group of year 1's learn to use google about Quentin Blake. First page of images up pops a full frontal nude male photo that he had drawn.

If your dc did it without knowing the meaning etc of the words, the worst thing the teacher could do is bring attention to them.

I'd move both to the state primary if that's viable. 30 mins is not much for a rural area.

Unless you have your heart set on going independent I wouldn't bother with that option.

If I was in this position, I too would not be happy with the school and would look to move them elsewhere ASAP.

Have a look at watchsted website. Though direct links to school's OFTSED reports, it would be useful for you to see what other schools are within your commute, not necessarily the 'Outstanding' school. TBH school gradings mean nothing to me.

But if Independent schooling is going to be your choice further down the line, then is it not worth BOTH boys moving to independent schools by having a google to see what schools are close by?

If there is no other way, move DS1 to the Independent school and DS2 to another school within commuting distance.

But, no, I would not allow my child to have a substandard education or to be put at risk when doing a search on the internet. I think it's ignorant to think anything can get through. If that was the case, schools should be taking a proactive response to ensuring their children's safety whilst using the internet.

My advice would be to move your DC immediately. My own DD was at a prep school 30 minutes drive away - yes, I did spend a lot of time in the car ferrying her to parties, playdates etc, but in the early years it was just an accepted part of her school life. You, and they, will get used to it.