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Please tell me if this is unreasonable ? Really need some feedback .Thank you

10 replies

fakeblonde · 27/03/2007 21:52

dd2 is in year 6 of a tiny primary school (24 )
Throughout the years she has been there i have really struggled with the lack of notice given for any meetings/trips/parents eves/school invites of anysort.
For example fri eve at 3 30 i was asked to attend a meeting Mon after school re a planned trip next month.I was frowned upon when i said it was too short notice and couldnt come. <br /> Mon i then received a letter asking that i pick dd up from a differrent site thu and bring her back for an evening performance the same day. <br /> I said i couldnt do this as i am a midwife and run antenatal classes Thurs.Their reply was couldn`t one of the other parents do it for me.
They could and would but i am embarressed by the amount of times i have to ask other parents to do this and sad that i miss attending everything.
Almost all the other parents are farmers wives or self employed and i am prob the only working mum.I really feel like not sending her on Thur as i really cant collect her or take her to this eve performance.
Each year at parents eve (the ones i have made ) i have asked for more notice, as i want to attend and could arrange my duties to suit.
We usually get between 1 and 3 days notice !
Finally am really cross that dd has a severe peanut allergy and despite several phone calls none of the teachers or the school nurse has kept to the policy of having a yearly update on how to deal with this should the worst happen (we almost lost her a few years ago when a pupil brought in crunchy nut cornflakes ).She is going away with school next month and it as about 4 years since they had any training.
Sorry its so long but just needed to let it off. x

OP posts:
Miaou · 27/03/2007 22:04

fakeblonde, am sorry you are having these problems with your school

My kids are in a similar sized school (26 pupils) and things do tend to be fairly short notice; however I know that if I asked for more notice of events I would be listened to. Similar to you, most mums at the school are in farming or not working, hence why I guess there is a culture of not needing to provide much notice. However, in a school the size of yours and mine, a working parent should not be overlooked in this way.

WRT the peanut allergy business, I am horrified that updates are not taking place - as you say, this is a life-threatening allergy! I would suggest you put your concerns in writing and copy your letter to someone higher up (sorry I have no idea who; someone else on here might be able to tell you!). Totally unacceptable attitude.

luciemule · 27/03/2007 22:05

The school sound a bit slack in their responsibilities and I'd write a letter to the governors outlining what you've said here. They are supposed to give you far more notice than that - whether you work or not and can not expect you to drop everything at such short notice. Also, would confront them about the training thing for the allergy. I'd be worried if it was my DD going away with a nut allergy when they seem unable to even organise their admin properly. (IMO).

Miaou · 27/03/2007 22:08

Policies like handling allergies should surely be picked up on during HMI inspections (or the English equivalent - sorry, am in Scotland and not sure of the differences) - it is in their interests to make sure these things are kept up to date (never mind in the interests of one of their pupils).

pointydog · 27/03/2007 22:27

Not unreasonable of you. I find schools can generally be pretty poor at communicating with parents - way behind other non-profit organisations, although maybe not so unusual for state-run orgs.

You carry on complaining about their poor communications. They'll have to get up to speed one day in teh not too distant future.

fakeblonde · 27/03/2007 22:55

Have just written a long letter FAO head and chair of Gov (big gulp ! )
Hope i am not being ott

OP posts:
Miaou · 28/03/2007 08:12

FB, I really can't see how being concerned about a situation that has a direct impact on your daughter's life could be construed as OTT! . Plus their lack of notice of events is inconsiderate and prevents you taking an active part in much of your daughter's schooling. I think you are doing the right thing. Let us know how you get on.

mateychops · 28/03/2007 08:27

FB, you are not being OTT, and I don't think it's a problem exclusive to small schools. Since a change of headteacher, communication and a bit of notice to home has improved, but there are still instances where I get four days notice of something happening featuring one of my kids.

Good luck, hope your letter gets the response you are looking for.

tigermoth · 28/03/2007 08:41

Totally good idea to write the letter to head and govenors. I think you are being very reasonable. Just because you are not around much during the day is no reason why someone can't phone you to talk things over.

I know exactly how you feel about being out of the loop and feeling you can't ask other parents for favours. I had this for years until I was lucky enough to make friends with another mother, who picked up on this (our sons are friends). She has gone out of her way to give me emergency back up as she is around the school far more than me.

At least your dd will be at the school for just one more term. IME at secondary school parents do not have to drop everything at short notice to pick up their children as the school is ok about them getting the bus home by themselves. And also, you could begin to consider letting your dd get taxis by herself soon - (I started a thread on this recently to see what the dreaded mumsnet consensus was about a nearly 13 year old getting a mini cab alone to and from activities and most people seemed to feel it was ok - phew!).

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 08:44

dont forget to cc to the LEA

bozza · 28/03/2007 09:08

I agree with you writing your letter too - the informal appraoch has clearly not worked, so biting the bullet and writing a letter is definitely the way forward.

My DS is in a village primary school of one class per year so quite a bit bigger than yours - but we get notice of parent's evenings at the beginning of the year and because they are always on set days Tues/Weds after Oct and Feb half terms DH and I can plan for them. Of course, there are other events such as class assemblies which we get less notice for but usually still several weeks.

The allergy thing is awful and I think you need serious answers before your DD can go on the trip.

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