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How do dc in your 6 year old's class behave towards each other?

32 replies

SSShakeTheChi · 26/03/2007 08:34

I know this sounds like a weird question but dd is very unhappy with the behaviour of her class-mates, not just towards her but towards each other generally. She likes her teachers, learning and the school but not really the class. She's asked me to change her school but her school is probably the nicest I'll find here and we live in what is considered a nice area. I'm a bit at a loss about how to deal with this.

There is, I find, quite a lot of physical aggression (kicking, pushing and shoving, hitting, even throttling) but none of this is directed against dd personally. However she is very upset about it. There is a lot of what I would call cattiness among the girls which I wouldn't have expected in 6 year olds. Souns like the kind of thing teenage girls did when I was at school. Is this just the way it is these days?

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shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 26/03/2007 10:58

I've had "my mum says we've got more money than you, because we've got xxx"

This was a 6yo and I smiled and said how vulgar

princesscc · 26/03/2007 11:12

Me too! We start senior school in September and although she is really looking forward to it, I can't help thinking it will just get worse! I guess you just have to try to get them to rise above the bitchiness, stand tall and not get involved.

hippipotami · 26/03/2007 11:39

SSS, it is an awful thought isn't it. At age 6 you expect to be able to enjoy school, not have to deal with bad behaviour of classmates. I feel sad for your dd.

But she is lucky to have you by the sounds of it as you are helping her all you can.

Another good thing is that the bullying is not directly at your dd, so as long as she has some nice friends around her, she should hopefully in time be able to 'tune out' the behaviour of the rest of the class...

frogs · 26/03/2007 11:40

SSS, I know 'toughening up' sounds awful, but they do all need to learn that there's always some silly child who'll have some silly thing to say, and that they should just let it wash over them.

Dd1 acquired glasses in Reception, and then added an eyepatch when she was in Y1. She came home a couple of weeks after the start of term, saying, "Oh, XXX and YYY and the big girls in Y 3, they keep calling me four-eyes". I suppressed my immediate urge to go round and Sort Them Out, and asked her what she'd said to them. To which dd1 replied, "I said, 'Well, I told them, you're two years older than me, you should know better'."

Ds is currently having a bit of an issue with a boy in his class who is nearly a year older, sees himself as the class alpha male and likes to throw his weight around. Ds is pretty much the only boy who really challenges this other kid, so takes the brunt of his windups (verbal, rather than physical). It does still get to him, but has been greatly improved by teaching him new ways of looking at it, eg. he's a silly boy, he's jealous of you, blah blah.

Maybe you could try something similar with your dd? Eg saying that some children are a bit immature, and haven't yet learnt to solve arguments sensibly, or to behave nicely. Somebody posted this link to an antibullying website on my thread about ds's problems , and I do like the approach it suggests. In the end, you can't do much about the other children's behaviour, but you can try to change the effect it has on her.

hippipotami · 26/03/2007 11:40

Must admit, am at the thought that there is a need for these 'toughening up' courses. That suggest there is a real problem in all schools, so perhaps it is time for a curriculum shake up to include things like friendship/feelings of others/behaviour...

princesscc · 26/03/2007 11:42

It might be worth asking if the school does have an antibullying policy btw. I thought all schools had to have them these days. I know we had to sign to say we had read & understood and would adhere to the rules. We have also already seen one for the senior school she is going to.

SSShakeTheChi · 26/03/2007 15:42

We're not in the UK princess and schools are run a bit differently here on the whole.

Well teacher is still sick so looks like I will have to wait till after the Easter break to have a word with her. Thanks for all the tips/comments. I have a bit of time to let in all sink in. Thanks for the website Frogs I'll have a read around it now.

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