Outstanding state v selective primary

[Unsure44]

We have been offered 2 places (have twins) at a very sought after selective private school from year 3 following admissions assessments and interview. We are currently at an outstanding state school which we are happy with despite the usual niggles re class size, stretch and so on. We really did not expect both to get places and we saving to send them private at 11. We can just afford sending them now but it will be difficult and we are really sending them to ease the 11 plus process which I hear is dreadful. In an ideal world we would save our hard earned money, leave them where they are but are torn about missing such an opportunity and hating ourselves when, even with tutoring they may not make the grade at 11 plus. I don't want to look back and think either way I made a mistake but of course we will never really know! Any views/advice would be really welcome!

Truly honestly I would leave them at the state school.

They are happy.

If you are worried about extra curricular activities or want to ensure you can stretch them then you can use your money to enhance their state school experience.

You can continue to save for private school at a later date.

The money needed for private school is just so massive and I think that if you any way struggle for it then I think you should leave it - especially if oh have an outstanding state school.

My children have close friends at state and private and truly there does not seem to me to be any measured difference in their abilities or learning at all. There are niggles from both types of schools.

I often think apart from amazing teachers a great deal of the happy development of children at the at primary stage of schooling is due to the motivation of parents or encouraging reading, writing, play, art, music instilling confidence etc - if your children can learn to love learning then I think that is the main thing

Is the selective school a through school, or just a primary school?

Thank you! It's selective until 11 then feeds the great and good schools!

How competitive are your target seniors? Does your current state school send children to them at year 7?

I wouldn't move happy children. If they have friends, and are happy and doing well, then honestly don't uproot them for a 'niggle'.

My son is in an outstanding superselective grammar with lots children who came from prep school, and although DH and I went private all the way through, with four children we had no choice - and I worried all the time that we were letting down the children.

However, we spent, (and continue to do so!) a lot of money on extra curricular activities for them all, and really, I can't see much difference at the grammar, aside from their sports prowess - but I think that may be down to my particular child, who really isn't sporty, despite us giving him every opportunity outside of school (rugby, cricket, tennis etc ). Music is also a bigger part of the prep school children's lives - my children just haven't been that interested, and to be honest, we haven't pushed it very hard because I just couldn't fit another activity in! He's more than holding his own academically and I don't feel has missed out on anything much. (FWIW we did send them to extra maths/English/enrichment from year 3, before tutoring for the 11+ started in Y5 because with the best will in the world, they don't get as much attention in a class of 30 as in a class of 15, but we've saved more than we would have spent on fees, despite the cost of this.)

Thank you and for all the tips re tutoring etc. Their current state does feed target senior schools but with much less success than the private prep and of course with tutoring. Indeed the private prep they have got into feeds much more than the other privates ones in our area I guess because they are handpicking those most likely to succeed at 11 plus. I think I am confused because I have 2 to get in so worried about the odds etc etc!

I think you need to have a good think about how difficult is it to get into the private secondary schools and how bothered are you it they don't ie are the other options OK?

If one way or the other they'd end up at 11 at a school you're happy with, I'd save your money. If you think there's a risk they wouldn't then may be it's worth it. Hard to know though unfortunately without that crystal ball!!

If they have a good chance in getting into the same target senior schools I would save the money and try again at 11. With two children prepping at the same time it can be quite effective in terms of cost, both in money and in time?