This poem was given as homework. Am I being over-sensitive?

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My daughter came home with a poem glued into her book. The class were all told to learn the same poem off by heart to recite that week in front of the class. My daughter (10 years old) was upset by it on behalf of her friends. I have spoken to a few parents. Some hadn't seen it, some had children upset by it. One boy cried as his parents had just split up. Anyway, here's the poem (it was given as homework in Fathers' day week):

'What Dads Do'
Make bookshelves
Make burgers
Make money.
Make funny faces that make you laugh.
Scratch your back when you can't reach where it itches.
Lift you up on their shoulders.
Snore when they're sleeping (but say they don't).
Pitch - but not so fast that you can't hit their pitches.
Play tickles with you when you feel like a silly person.
Snuggle up close with you when you feel like a sad one.
Dads explain electricity
And peninsulas
And help you count the stars.
I wish I still had one.

Half the children in the class have divorced parents, a couple have deceased dads. One child said to his mum, "I wish I still had one too" and said he would recite the poem but didn't want to say the last line.

Is it me or does anybody else feel this is inappropriate for a year 5 class? There was no context by the way, it was just pasted into their homework books.

I don't know.... the fact that some of the kids have indeed lost their dads means that such a poem is entirely suitable for them. It's sad, but people die. If the affected kids can be given a frame of reference to fit their feelings into then maybe it's a good thing.

I guess those whose parents are divorced (should) still have a dad in their lives but it does seem very insensitive to those whose dads are deceased. I don't think it would be used at our primary in that way for that reason.

I lost my brother when I was 6, btw; he was 3. I was more interested in books where people died, after that; it wasn't discussed in RL so books were it.

Inappropriate and also incorrect. My dad never did that stuff, Mum put the bookshelves up.

I get what you are saying lacontessa except asking them to recite in front of the class it is asking too much IMO.

This has made me feel so sad.

I think it is a very insensitive poem to give out, especially as it has to be recited out loud.

I would talk to the teacher and explain your feelings about it and hopefully they will change the plan for next week.

This would have upset my DS when they were primary school age. Their Dad never bothered with them and it always made them feel different to other children. They couldn't understand why their Dad didn't love them in the way other Dad do their kids.

I think it's awful.

Dads make money????!!!!

I dare you to post it on the Feninism Board.

Apart from the femi ist issue dad's do some of that. Dad's exist and should be recognised.

This is perhaps the same sensitivity that refers to husbands as partners? That refuses to call mothers Mrs?

All kinds of wrong there. My dad died when I was a kid and I would have been devastated by that.

Not to mention... why can't mums put up shelves or explain electricity?

I think you are being over-sensitive. The whole point of the poem is that we have ideas about what dads are supposed to do but that not everyone has such a dad - in that way I think it's being very inclusive. And the fact that some children have reacted to it emotionally is showing them the power of poetry and the written word.
I speak as someone whose dad was absent through serious illness from when I was in Y6. The fact of his absence was bad enough but it was worse because I was seen as "other" - my loss never got acknowledged. Sounds like this teacher s acknowledging her children's absent dads - good for him or her.

What is it teaching them though? They arent discussing the content or the rythm or the messages. Learn by heart and recite. What a waste of time; regardless of the poem.

Also I don't think the poem is saying mums can't do the same activities, or that dads can only do those tasks.
And for those with dead dads in the class - their upset is caused by the fact their dads are dead, not the existence of a poem.

Aside from the fact that it's a terrible poem are you seriously telling me that a teacher is going to listen to and expect a class to listen to the same poem being recited by the whole class ?

How do we ever break through the glass ceiling when we are drilling that drivel into kids heads?!! I'm appalled!!

Hmm, tricky. It's rather a nice poem to celebrate dads (and even the kids with divorced parents will mostly still have contact with their dad, I presume). I think it would be a bit sad if schools felt that they had to stop doing anything to celebrate mums, dads etc for fear of upsetting those children who have lost theirs. And even if they do, reminders will be all around (Fathers Day greetings cards in shops, adverts on TV etc) so perhaps it's not helpful to ignore Fathers Day in schools if it gets children used to a world where those around them continue to celebrate these occasions.

But I can see that learning and reading this poem out in class might be upsetting for some. Perhaps the best solution would be to have several poems that the children can chose from, and those who don't want to learn the dad poem can instead recite one about animals or weather or something less emotionally charged.

And inoculating because this is the sort of thread the DM love -
Daily Mail - you're a bunch of wank-stained cock-wombling unethical hypocritical fascist twats.

My sons Dad died.
If that came back from class with no warning I'd be upset and he would too.
That's aside from the stupid stuff about earning money

Terrible poem and terrible message. Completely inappropriate

Constantinople- it's not quite that simple

I would never expect the school not to do anything for Father's Day, but I would expect sensitivity and I wouldn't expect a poem saying "I wish I still had one"

All the poetry in the world, and the teacher couldn't find that was
A well written and enjoyable poem
Not verging on sexist
Not handed out with no opportunity to discuss/handle/acknowledge how difficult it would be for some children.

Initially really miffed by the "men do this..." crap.

But agree with other posters - what does this teach the children exactly? For those to whom it's relevant, it doesn't help them - is raises the feelings but doesn't do anything about them. And to recite this in front of their friends?! No no no!

If the teacher was trying to reach out to those children, they would do it in a direct way away from the others, and it should be with professional guidance.

Not a fan

It's a bit sexist really isn't it. Or am I missing the point? My daughter would say I do all of that apart from make book shelves and explain electricity. Not really sure of what they are trying to teach kids by using an outdated poem, maybe it's to show how wrong it is and how times have changed,?

There are many things wrong with it,but my main issue is that learning a poem by heart,doesn't teach them anything. Big,fat,fucking nothing.
It would be different if they had their poem as inspiration and then asked to their own for example about dad,or another important male figure in their life.
This way is just pointless,sexist and for some cruel.