Should I approach next year's class teacher?

[longestlurkerever]

Dd1 is coming towards the end of year 1. There was a general invitation to call in and meet the year 2 teacher at a particular time that I couldn't make. Would it be OK to ask if I could meet her separately to talk about dd's transition to year 2 or is that a bit of an ask? And if so, what exactly do I say to get out of the meeting what I want, which is a frank and open relationship with the teacher where we have shared expectations of dd?

Background is that dd can be quite challenging and has acted up at the beginning of each year to date (nursery, reception, year 1) before things have settled down to be on a more even keel.
I have her school report now and the narrative says things like "...is a very able child and when focused she is able to complete tasks to a good standard...she does need lots of prompting and reminding of the classroom rules....she can sometimes struggle to listen and follow the instruction straight away...this has vastly improved since the beginning of the year..."

I'm not an idiot - that's basically as close as teachers come to saying she's a nightmare, right? But although I had snatched feedback along these lines at the beginning of each year by the time we get to parents' evening they tend to say she's more or less fine, and they've ticked "good" in every box for attitude and achievement (not excellent, but satisfactory or poor either) and say she is "meeting age related expectations".

The truth is, I have high expectations of dd and don't think she's achieving her potential yet as her focus and concentration are not up to it. I am not so bothered about her actual achievement levels right now but I don't want her written off as a trouble maker and for "meeting the expected level" to be the pinnacle of anyone's expectations of her. If there are particular ways in which she's struggling with classroom learning, or teachers are struggling with her, I'd rather know and discuss them properly and work out strategies to help them and us. Is that asking too much when they've got a class of 30 or do teachers welcome this sort of dialogue? Honest views welcome.

I'm a teacher - I would welcome this discussion. Maybe a phone call would be easier for the member of staff?

Meeting the expected level would be a pretty good result in plenty of schools! Exceeding could be a big challenge for her at the moment! As you say, you have high expectations! You may need to be realistic.

As a teacher a meeting may be helpful but as far as I know all teachers complete a hand-over to the next so all children can be discussed, ability, behaviour, family concerns, everything right down to making sure which children do and don't sit next to each other. I would appreciate it you came to me and asked for a small chat to discuss background and any concerns or questions you may have.

What I normally do is speak with current teacher at the end of year to ask what my ds need to work on/improve(school have casual parent drop in meeting end of the year on certain days), and speak with new teacher in September when ds has actually being in her/his class, so the teacher knows him a bit better.

Our school has parents drop in session to meet new teacher, but it isn't a big help imo, since the new teacher doesn't know dc yet, and it's quite a while until September.

Thanks for the replies. I do understand that Bubbles and it's really hard to know where to pitch my expectations. I do realise this whole conversation has the potential to go badly wrong and kust come across as wanky, which is why i am testing the water here. I am not wanting to pile heaps of pressure on her - i am just scared of labels and levels of aspiration being set very young. in my mind there is no reason why she shouldn't excel in her own time. I know all parents think their children are bright so i know how this will come across but dh and i are high achievers academically and people do comment on how bright and articulate she is all the time - her former nursery teachers who now look after dd2 remember her as an exceptional toddler but there isn't anything objective to point to to say what her potential is when her attainment is average. She shares a lot of traits with dh, who has an exceptional IQ but had some behavioural issues as a child and a pretty miserable school experience and i suppose I'm wary of letting her down. I'm obviously not going to say all of that to the,teacher, but what do i say?

I suppose that's what I'm afraid of star girl. Handovers that set everyone's expectations at "total nightmare, you'll be doing well to get her to behave enough but if you work really hard at it she'll meet expectations" which is an impression that'll no doubt be reinforced if she goes through another behaviour regression as,part of a transition to year 2.

It's worth a chat to say you know she can be challenging. That you want to work with the school to ensure next year gets off to the best start and ensure they know the best way to contact you if they have any concerns.
As an ex teacher I would be relieved to have you on side and grateful for the support. I wouldn't think this would be a nightmare at all!

As a teacher if I received an email saying exactly your opening post I'd welcome it and further discussion in order to work with you. You sound a fab mum!

Why does she have behaviour problem at the beginning of the school year? Can she tell you what is bothering her? Is it a new teacher new year nerve? Maybe you can talk about it during the summer, since she maybe old enough now to understand consequences of being labelled wrong?
I think it really depends on the teacher if they can see the potential or not. And how they can encourage a child or not.
But if you speak to the teacher sincerely, I am sure any decent teacher will understand that you are caring parent who want to do best for your dc and willing to work with the teacher.

Many children find the start of a new year very unsettling. New space. New staff. Different routines. Different expectations.

I am quite happy to read responses from teachers on this thread.
To know that teachers are on our(parents) side to help our kids.
Thank you, great teachers!

So many are! Decent teachers would always want to hear from parents who want to work with them for the sake of the child. Always.

Thanks everyone. I've found this thread reassuring, thank you. I don't quite know why she acts up at the beginning of the year to be honest. It feels like she is testing boundaries and wants to build a relationship before she decides to comply on her own terms. I'm not defending this behaviour, I find her defiance challenging at home too, and have experience of trying to teach her things and finding it hugely frustrating, so I don't envy her teachers, but there's a limit to what I can actually do when I'm not there, and I never quite understand what is being asked of me when teachers give me the snatched feedback.

I would totally go for it and ask the teacher for a meeting. Like pp have said, lots of Chn can act differently at the beginning, but once settled into the new routine they may behave better. Is next year's teacher experienced? Try your best to trust the teacher and we would all be very pleased to have a parent on our side, testing out new strategies or whatever it may take with your support because trust me, we don't always get a lot so I'm sure they will be very pleased!

Do you feel that's how her current teacher sees her? As a challenge? Has something happened to make you have less confidence?

Thanks Stargirl. Yes, they use the word challenging a lot with ref to dd. Her reception teacher would use it more positively and counteract it with rewarding and seeming fondness (she does have redeeming qualities - she is very enthusiastic and excitable) but her current teacher is less experienced and the curriculum is different and although they are fine with each other now i don't get the impression they've really gelled. Her school report conveys that too. I don't know anything about her next teacher but in my ideal scenario she would find dd exhilarating rather than just difficult. It's a small and quite high achieving school with very involved parents - i don't think they have the same challenges as some. It does make me feel a bit shit sometimes tbh when they talk about dd as if she's the most difficult child in the world. She is a bit unruly and impulsive but she's not aggressive or destructive or anything like that.

Though on another thread i have going about her party ideas everyone is telling me she sounds great, which is cheering.

Ask for the meeting, let us know how it goes!

They have changed the targets and the curriculum so much v few teaches like it. Your daughter may well have been judged as exceeding on the previous curriculum!

our school do a transition group for children who struggle with the changes at the end of the year, so they are worried about moving up, new teachers, different mix of children etc or who are just quite shy and nervous themselves for various reasons. Perhaps you can ask if they do this looking ahead for your daughter for next summer. If she mainly has issues at the start of the year but then settles down it sounds to me like the poor little girl is struggling with anxiety about the change. She is too young to be able to express this and probably spent last summer holiday building it up in her mind before going back and then all the feelings all come out at once.

I would perhaps send in a note explaining your concerns but I would ask to speak to the SENCO to see what could be put in place at the start of next term to reassure her and perhaps could they do something in the next couple of weeks before the end of this term so that it doesn't affect her summer holiday too if she is worried. It could be as simple as she needs reassuring about where the loo is near her new classroom (if changing part of the building), will her teacher like her, where will she keep her things, will she have a drawer or peg, is the classroom routine the same as in her current class and so on. even just having another 15 minutes with her new teacher just to get to know her a bit better might be possible at this time of year if there are other things going on rather than main teaching etc and it might just reassure her.

Thanks nonickname, that's good advice. She's not typically shy at all - she comes across as brimming with confidence in fact - but that does sometimes mask that she can be quite emotionally needy at times.

Well setting up the meeting was actually taken out of my hands as dd herself said "we need to arrange to meet my new teacher" and marched into the office to make an appointment. So the teacher is going to ring me back to arrange a convenient time. Hopefully I'll get the chance to speak to her about my concerns on the phone and then dd and I can pop in to introduce them to each other in person.