No one to play with

[pirateinthewater]

Ds is 6 and in yr1. He usually plays alone at break time and always says it's what he prefers which I thought was strange as every time I see him with others in his peer group, he seems quite keen to join in. I've not made an issue out of it so he can feel comfortable with who he is etc.

Tonight he said that sometimes he spends all break time looking for someone to play with and every time he asks anyone or tries to join in (particularly with the boys) they all say no. He said it's ok and he just plays alone.

I've encouraged him to go to the lunch supervisors but he says no and doesn't want me to tell a teacher either.

He seems quite matter of fact but my heart is broken thinking of him walking around all lunchtime being rejected.

Has anyone got any advice?

Have a secret word with the teacher and see what she days

And does he have frienfs outside of school from playgroup etc

He's doing a few outside clubs and he gets on well with other children, no problems but he's not really been doing them long enough to have firm friendships. We're new to the area last year so no 'from birth' friends.

There's also some schoolmates in these clubs and again there's no specific problems but I can see how ds is always the one trailing behind the others and they don't seem interested in him.

i would ask staff how he is at school you might get a different story or see if they have buddies that might encourage others to play / let your son join in

my daughter had this in primary 6 and 7 after her best friend moved away no one in her class would let her join their friendship groups i had a word with her teacher who said she could not force them (so much for bullying policy stating no-one was to be left out on purpose)

Could you invite one or two of the boys (or girls) for playdates to try and reinforce friendships? Make sure your DS goes to any "planned" out of school class activities, such as trips to the park, visits to McDonalds etc?

Does the school have any lunchtime clubs he could join? Would give him a chance to make friends and, hopefully, make his lunchtimes less boring.

Thanks, yes we've had a few play dates although they rarely get reciprocated and he's never been asked for one without us asking first. A lot of people in his school have lived here for ever and have rock solid friendship groups who I'm sure get together out of school but we aren't on that radar. He rarely gets invited to parties either.

I feel really sad for him. He seems very matter of fact about it.

My eldest always used to say this but whenever I used to speak to the teacher she would check on her and she was usually running around playing. I think they do tend to exaggerate it. They may have spent 5 mins out of 30 mins wandering then found something to do but the 5 mins sticks in their head.