Building my son's confidence

[rsa001]

Hi,
My son is 3 years old, and is lacking confidence. He is quiet and shy at playgroup, preferring to play on his own rather than with the other children.
Any idea of how I can build his confidence, to make him more resilient and more socially confident? I want him to be able to make friends and mix well with other children when he starts school, something I fear he might struggle with.
Any ideas or suggestions are welcome. If anyone has read any good books etc that they can suggest?

I wouldn't worry too much. My daughter was similar at that age, she wouldn't talk to others and often hid behind me, now in Y6 and very confident. It is a lot to ask of a three-year-old so just keep playing with him, talking to him and encouraging him but don't force anything. He will blossom in his own time and school will give him plenty of opportunities to do so.

Yeah my youngest was so similar, being an introvert is not a problem in itself, it's only a problem for people who think extroverts are the only way to be!
My son is 7 now and things that have helped :

• having lovely friends for a long time. He's not one to flit between friends and his loyalty is very sweet.
• School, they do settle in and make good friends.
• beavers - being able to make new friends as they join and to know another set of people has been fantastic in building his confidence. He has stayed overnight and everything!
• just go slow in making changes, don't expect your child to jump right into a new experience but observe others first and once they know the lay of the land they'll make friends.

Oh and inviting one child to play at a time, by your child's choosing, or you could ask playgroup key workers to say who he speaks to most. Don't worry at all though, it's so very normal. My son has great friends now and he is a great friend to them.

Don't mistake being quiet for lacking confidence. Mine was like that at 3. He got on better with adults. I never forced him into any situations. In school we did 1-1 play dates in the first term but he settled and found his feet. Respect his introverted personality and he will shine in his own time.