DS is on the periphery at school

[Ireallydontthinkso]

My DS 9 years is on the periphery in his year socially and, although I've tried to organise play dates, they rarely happen. He is a bit quirky but actually very sociable and friendly. He has friends out of school and is ok. This afternoon after school I noticed that children were going home together for play dates. My DS didn't seem to notice but I felt terrible for him. I blame myself for being rubbish at the mothers friendship groups (I have very little confidence chatting to these woman - it's a smart prep school and I'm probably the least 'smart') to some extent. DS is a happy boy, he is busy outside of school, has lovely siblings, but I was wondering - does anyone else feel the school playground/play date etc pressure and feel they have failed miserably on behalf of their child?

Have you invited anyone to play at your house?

Yes, we have invited over 4 years many children, but we rarely get a yes or not a return invite. Maybe I'm being over sensitive this evening.

What do you mean by "periphery"?
Do you mean he doesn't have any friends at school? If so, it's really nothing to do with parents at age 9, imo.
If he has good friends at school but don't socialise after school with them, does it really matter, since he has other friends out of school?

I know exactly what you mean OP. My child is 9 and on the periphery. I try not to overthink things but good to arrange a few play dates if you can. Good luck 😊

Hard to know if it's a reflection of anything relating to your son or whether their are parent "cliques" and the only allow or encourage friendships with children within their own clique

If your son is happy I wouldn't over think it - I also think this type of thing happens regardless of class or status or money - it's sad but your son will learn so much more from doing things his own way than the others who have their mummy superimpose friendships on them