Moving from Dubai to UK

[Dxbdad]

Is there anyone out here who has moved back to the UK especially from Dubai with children?
I would really appreciate some sound advice as I am torn between the decision of moving back to the UK or staying in Dubai for at least another four years.
Reason for staying in Dubai:

1. Significant savings - Meaning no mortgage to pay for at the end of the four year term

Cons:

1. DD is 3 now and DS is 2 so this would mean a change of school for them (which seems to be massive issue for my wife as she doesn't approve of putting the kids through the whole change process and would rather have them here in Dubai until they finish their primary school, but my concern with this is that we may not be able to prepare them for a grammar school entrance exam - which I hope to do)

How have your children dealt with the move? Is there anything that could possibly be done to make it easier for them? Wife thinks that changing schools could be a disaster. We intend to buy a property in Wallington and rent it out until our planned move. (What is it like in Wallington?)

Couldn’t thank you enough for much needed advice

I think if there was a time to move now would be it. The kids have not started primary school yet fi they are only 3 and 2. They would start primary age 4 turning 5. So you would need to at least move now if you want to get them a spot at a good state school because applications deadline is in January. I would make the move because I would not want my kids growing up in Dubai, but thats just me. I do not like the extreme heat along with some other things. I lived in Dubai a couple years, before I had kids. I think its a great place to save money and would have been great to live there when my kids were babies because help is so affordable. However, once kids start school, I would want to be where I am supposed to be for long term, which for me was not Dubai. If you see yourself being in the UK for long term, do the move now. Also, kids are easy to adapt when young so even if you wait a couple years and they have to transfer in primary school late they will be fine, but you might risk it they do not get a place at the school you want.

The savings would outweigh the school considerations for me. Your children will still be young in four years time and if you are aiming for the Wallington /Sutton grammar schools, they will have time to prepare if you aim to start them in a UK school from Year 4/5. A good tutor will work wonders but make sure they progress well in Dubai with reading and writing so they're ready to hit the ground running for the grammar school arms race!

Another four years means the elder will still be only 7, or 8 by the time you're in a school. Which actually makes it a bit easier to get into a state school as class size limits don't apply from Y3 upwards. I think that age is young enough to adapt, but not older so much. The culture shock of moving from Dubai to England will only get bigger, unless for example you already spend lots of time here.

Would you be able to have one parent move back with the kids to ensure they could start school in Wallington for Y3, even if the other was stuck in Dubai for a while? Wallington is a lovely place if you have money, less nice if you don't.

Stay in Dubai, we lived there for three years moved back to the UK for eldest to go into year 5 she sat 11 plus and passed easily. Most of the English primary schools in Dubai are of a very high standard and the money you can earn between now and then could really make a big difference to the rest of your life, our only regret is that we didn't move there sooner

Thanks a ton to all of you! Now here is one bit that I missed out

• wife is going back to the UK to do PGCE (to be a qualified teacher) and my DD will be going to nursery for a year in Uk and will then come back to Dubai for three years before moving back to the UK.

This means three changes for her - would any of your opinions be any different bearing this point in mind?

Ps - we don't want to raise children here and hence in my opinion a move back at the age of 7 may not be as bad as my mrs thinks it would be.

Thanks once again.

Do you mean only dd would be in UK? Or both ds and dd but one would be in school nursery and the other in a day nursery? Splitting siblings would be bad but otherwise OK, especially if you travelled back to UK as often as possible - my dad used to do 6 weeks in ME, one week England.

Both of them would be there together with DD going to a school nursery and DS to a day nursery. I will be travelling to see them every 6 weeks for a week until they come back (so hopefully they won't forget me)

Sounds fine (possibly easier on your wife if both went to the same day nursery - no real point in a 9-3 nursery if she's going to leave after that year). Enjoy Skype chats every day or two.

Thank you NotCitrus and everyone else! You guys are awesome. If there is anybody who could share any insights on Wallington schools then that would be extremely helpful. Based on my research our options are - Bandon hill primary school and then for secondary schools - Wilsons for DS and Wallington high for DD

Thanks once again!

Plenty of kids change between nursery/preschool/infant/junior. School nursery tends to be limited hours though, so your dw may need additional childcare. You may like to think of plan b in case they don't cope with the selective exams or the criteria change in the next 7 years.

LIZS plan B would be to get ripped off and pay 20k each in school fees (which I am not massively in favour of)

Can't offer much help Im afraid but we are in the opposite situation.

DH is currently working in KSA on a 2 year contract (he's half way through) and has the opportunity to move to Dubai at the end of the 2 years. We have been to Dubai numerous times (as we can't get into KSA) and absolutely love it. However DS1 is 12 and currently in Year 7 and DS2 is 6 and in Year 1. Smallest one would adjust with no problem but I don't think it's fair to uproot my older son when he is so settled at High School. Currently we go to Dubai or DH comes back here every 6 weeks.

Ihrarttc i would not recommend moving to Dubai as this is probably not the best place to raise children. Education is purely commercial and the future of your children is completely dependant on your DH's job. Also, if your children are talented in areas other than academics then Britain has a lot to offer too. DXB is good for saving money and sunshine but not for raising a family.

OP I have no experience of living in Dubai but do have experience of doing multiple foreign postings including elsewhere in the Middle East. My DD is now 9 and has just moved to I think her fourth school in her third country while my DD is 5 and is in his third school. They have taken every change entirely in their stride. It's been far more stressful for me!

I think children are way more adaptable than we give them credit for. Their sense of time passing is not like ours, for one thing.

I think to end up mortgage free in London is an amazing prospect and your children will be fine.

A previous poster is right to say that it's easier to get children into oversubscribed primaries once they're past the reception age. Because other children leave to go to prep school etc and places open up. That's how we just got ours.

Best of luck

Correction DS is 5...

A big thanks to all of you for sharing your opinions and your advice. I feel a bit more confident about my plan and hope that the mrs would agree to it too. Thank you all once again!!

we found Dubai a great place to bring up a family, it's a lovely family friendly place more like Mediterranean countries in their attitudes towards children, some schools are very commercial but most offer a fantastic education with amazing facilities that you just can't get at state schools here, low crime rates so a very safe environment, loads of different cultures which offer a great education and experience for children in itself. The only difficulty we felt was as our children became teenagers that they needed for various reasons to be back in the uk.

"- wife is going back to the UK to do PGCE (to be a qualified teacher) and my DD will be going to nursery for a year in Uk and will then come back to Dubai for three years before moving back to the UK."

But your wife doesn't think putting your children through change is a good thing? Does she not realise the impact this will have on both your children and your family unit as a whole? Changing schools in four years time will be nothing in comparison.

I suspect the real reason (as opposed to what you are saying about her not wanting to put your children through change) your wife wants to leave now is because it will allow her to have a PCGE without splitting up the family unit for a year.

Is that correct OP? Because having read your update it sure feels like that might be the real reasons of why she doesn't want to stay in Dubai. It would be odd for a woman who doesn't like inflicting change on her children to want to leave for a year with one child.

"Education is purely commercial "

No, it's not. There are non-profit schools in Dubai.

Mokeylovesrobot - I think that you misunderstood the part about my wife going to the UK with DD alone. In fact DD and DS both would be going with her. So as explained earlier, I would be visiting them every six weeks. This would ensure that we have a mortgage free life in the UK which would eventually help us send DD and DS to private schools in the UK - should the need arise. Not-For-Profit schools in Dubai charge anywhere between GBP 800 to 1400 for FS1 and FS2 so in my opinion anybody who can't afford to pay that sort of fees won't be able to attend these "not-for-profit" schools.

"wife is going back to the UK to do PGCE (to be a qualified teacher) and my DD will be going to nursery for a year in Uk and will then come back to Dubai for three years before moving back to the UK.

This means three changes for her - would any of your opinions be any different bearing this point in mind?"

Apologies, but your DS was not mentioned. I personally feel that your wife having the option to do a PGCE and have a career without splitting up the family year for a unit (and creating three changes) is more important than living mortgage free (in an area where you aren't even sure is nice?)...

With regards to your comment regarding schools - I was merely pointing out you were incorrect and that several non-for-profit schools to exist in Dubai and the education system isn't "Education is purely commercial" as you were instructing another member. It is also not necessarily linked to anyone's jobs - I believe that debentures went out the window a long time ago.

Good luck with your decision.