Shy? Sensitive? Anxious? Not coping? Help me understand my wonderful dd.

[zizou]

Hello
I got my dds midterm report yesterday and it left me somewhat reeling. She is in year 3, and her reports up until now have been brilliant, and really reflected her. She has always been fantastic at literacy, in top group, very creative etc. She has also always been somewhat quieter than the very confident coterie of girls she has in her class. In her report yesterday it said that she was underacheiving in speaking/listening in English and that her effort was unsatisfactory and below the expected level for her year group. Also, her general results show a distinct slacking off from the first three years of school.
I haven't heard anything about this before from her teacher, so it came as quite a shock. This is clearly a departure from being quiet to pathologically quiet. I haven't addressed it with my dd yet because I'm not quite sure what to say.
The weird thing is that she seems to love school, and I have had no indication from her that she is having a tough time, apart from when she was not picked this year for literacy g&t, which really stumped her.
Any insights really appreciated.

Do you think the fact that she is so quiet and therefore prob more reluctant to participate in speaking exercises might be mistaken for lack of effort? Obv as she gets older she going to be more aware of being embarrased etc.

Reports should never come as a shock! You must be really confused.
I think the first thing you need to do is get a clearer picture from the teacher. Give her a call and ask if she can spare you a few minutes to talk about the report.
There's a difference between someone who is shy and feels overwhelmed by other people in the class and someone who is underachieveing.
You also need to know what the teacher is doing to help her, because there's no point identifying a weakness if you haven't got a plan for doing something about it.
If your dd enjoys school then don't worry too much, you could just ask her what she thinks about her literacy lessons. Perhaps she's switching off lately because she's bored or not challenged. Talk to the teacher and get the low down.

Hi zizou,

The teacher should have approached you earlier if they thought your DD was experiencing difficulties. To wait until a report to identify the things you have mentioned is out of order. These schools bang on about parent/school partnerships - how can this be effective if you are unaware of things! I'd be furious - have a quiet word with DD and ask if things are okay and how she feels she is doing - it may be that she is withdrawing after not being picked for literacy g&t, or some other reason.

Speak with the teacher and explain that if they had any concerns it may have been nice to be spoken to earlier than to receive a shock report which is not consistent with previous years.

Let us know how you get on.

thanks. Glad it's not me being weird. What is strange is that I think the school realises that they have been out of order, as since she got the report she has received 2 certificates for "making an effort to speak up" whereas up until now, since september, this has not been mentioned. Some furious back pedalling, I think.

The certificates could be a good sign, I mean that the teacher has perhaps shared her concerns with your dd and she's responded accordingly. Hope you get things sorted out so you feel better about the situation.

Thank you Ali5! I have a meeting with the teacher on Friday pm.