Advising a 5 year old on friendships

[Anotheroneofthese]

Hi, my son is 5 and currently struggling with the changes that are occurring in his usually tight knit group of friends. He now no longer sits with two of his closest friends. They have gone on to form a closer friendship with each other than with him. He feels left out and sad about the loss of his place and status in that group. He desperately wants things to be as they were and to get his best friend back. However, his attempts are rejected.

It appears that unkind things have been said to him and I suspect he too has said unkind things in retaliation. He is reluctant to go to the playground and is generally struggling to make sense of the changes.

I'm so sad for him and I'm not sure how best to advise him. Any ideas?

There is nothing much you can do about the other children rejecting him, this happens and will continue to happen through school. I would try and encourage him to make other friends. Perhaps invite someone else he likes at school for tea or to go swimming etc. Try and widen his social circle, get him to join an after school club or sport that he likes and make new friends.

Do you know the other mums? Perhaps have a chat with them about it. My DS is in a similar situation. He made friends with a boy and got on really well. Then started playing with this boy and his friend, who he now likes better than the first boy.

I would be devestated if I found out my DS had been unkind to anyone, even if things were said to him first. I encourage him to include this first friend and invite him to tea, to the park etc without the other friend. They still all get on and play together, even though I know my DS preference.

I know this happens to all kids at this age; I just think it would be nice to have more friends than less. Shutting another boy out at this age is not good for anyone.

I hope you can work it out with them.

It's the old adage, sadly: "Two's company, three's a crowd". He needs to widen out his friendship group so get him involved with clubs and invite other children round to play. Make a big effort. A small circle of friends can be fraught with dangers so do try and persuade him to join in games with other children. They tend to find ones with similar hobbies in the end.