Boys starting school - 4.5 versus 5.5 - opinions and experiences please

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Tis still a way off for me but am curious to gauge how it went for others.

My ds has a Jan bithday so could start P1 (Scotland) in the August following his 4th birthday or wait a year. We were going to defer entry - particularly since the head teacher said she wished that she had nots ent her own son at 4.5! But by the time May came he had matured considerably. THe Head visited him at nursery and in fact advised us to start him that August at 4.5. He settled in fine to school. (He now (at 7) hates school but that's another story!)
In Scotland it is fine to register for starting at 4.5 - and then change your mind at the last minute. (you just send a letter in to the Education dept)

Are yuo in Scotland or England? The reason beign that in Scotland, if you keep the child bag, they start school in Primary 1 either way (so will be older than the resot of the cohort), whereas in England, if you hold a child back, all that happens is that they would miss Reception and start straight in to Year 1, with the kids who have already been through reception.

FWIW, I'm in Scoltand. I could have held ds (now 6) back as he is a September baby - as it is, he is slap bang in the middle of the age range (March-February). Reading wise, it might have been better to kerep him back, but socially he was ready - and I think he would have been really bored if we'd started him a year later.

One of his friends is a December birthday and his parents kept him back. That means that he is already 7 - and was 5 years and 9 months when he started school. it probably was the right decision for him - he can still be quite immature, but he is doing well at reading and numbers.

One of my boys was aged 4 and one month when he started and he has thrived in every way. The only way he seems 'younger' than his peer group is his handwriting, and that problem seems to be common amongst older children too.

For what it's worth, in his class the 6 children who really struggled to settle at school, both socially and academically, were all Sept/Oct birthdays - 2 girls and 4 boys.

The only child I've ever known who has really really struggled with starting school early is a girl whose birthday is 31st August.

A few of my friends thought their summer-borns were too young and started them off 2-3 mornings a week at school, the rest of the time being at home or nursery. However within half a term they all concluded this was unnecessary and started 5 half-days a week (summer-borns do mornings only until Dec at our school).

Ok, I have a daugher who started full time school at 4 years and 2 weeks. She is doing very well, socially she was ready, noticed a big difference in her confidence after a few weeks. The only difference is when you compare her reading and writing to that of the older reception children. I had huge reservations about her starting, but it has been the best thing for her.

PB - my ds is a Sept birthday too so in the middle. He's v immature socially so in that respect would benefit from another year away from school to grow up, but another year at nursery would bore him rigid because he's clever.

So: clever but very daft withy potentially a few behavioural issues - I'm going to take my chances and let him start in August atm, but Ed Psychs etc may yet say differently

It's a composite class of P1/2/3 so he'd still be in a classroom with his peers, which could soften the blow if it comes to that.

I am actually in Scotland and like you Scotlou, his birthday is in January. He starts playgroup in August and will be there until January when he then goes to nursery for 5 mornings. He will have another year of 5 mornings at nursery and then could start P1 at 4.5. I have plenty time to see how he develops but he's just a bit different to his older sister (being a boy no doubt) where he has confidence to barge about at things but lacks emotional confidence. But hey he's only 2 so shall wait and see. I'd hate him to be bored by nursery for a third year but equally I'd hate him to feel pressured or inadequate at P1

I'm sure the nursery will also give yuo sme guidance as to what they think best. At least (as I understand it) with a January baby you can get the extra year's nursery fees. I think if you hodl back a late Agust-December child, then continuing the 12.5 hours nursery payments is descretional.

FWIW, I think my brother suffered from being the youngest in his year and remains emotionally immature. But that is a personal opinion!

My ds started P1 this year and he was 5 on Nov 30th, never had any thoughts about holding him back. I accept that there are kids in class 9 months older and it is a lot at this age but he is coping fine.Also the P1 teachers do take it into consideration. I think with the Jan/Feb birthdays you just need to wait till nearer the time- some are more ready than others. I know in my school there are about 8 who are jan/feb birthdays and I think you would find dificulty spotting who they were

Gosh Sammac- time flies! Your ds is already at school!

I am in Scotland too and we deferred entry for dd. She has a late January birthday and I didn't think she was ready socially or emotionally to start school at 4.5. I was also looking ahead to secondary school, and would rather that she was more mature when sitting exams etc.. I did feel that she would have been ready for school by her 5th birthday - it is a shame that there are no longer two intakes a year. As she was at a small private day-care nursery, it wasn't too repetitive for her to do another year, and I enrolled her in a ballet class so that she had a chance to do something new with children she didn't know in a more "school-like" atmosphere. She is now halfway through P4 and I think we did the right thing. However, apart from in P3 she has always been in composite classes, so has been in exactly the same classes she would have been in if she had started school at 4.5! This came as a bit of a blow to us when she first started school, but has actually worked out OK, and has meant that she has been in smaller classes as the maximum size for a composite class is 25.

My DS was 4 3 weeks before the September he started in Reception. We were a bit worried and hadn't sent him for the Nursery year at another local school that his sisters loved becasue we didn't want to confuse him about what (and where) school was. He's thrived - now in Y2 and loving it. I think it depends on the child (no great wisdom here! ). One thing to consider though is that if you chose not to let them start until they are 5 they'll miss the Rececption year and will be put straight into Y1!! We probably would've kept DS back to make him the oldest of his year if he could have gone into Reception but he would have gone into Y1 which defeated the object.

My boys started just a week after their 4th birthday and were absolutely fine. (although i was very scared!)

MEMsmum - that's why I asked the question re whether in Scoltand or England: in Scoltand you don't just miss out on a year and end up where you would have been anyway - if you are held back, you then start as one of the oldest in the following year.

I agree though - the English system just appears to defeat the object!