parents evening (reception) coming up; help!

[sunnysideup]

I've posted before on here about my ds' reception class. The school is just a local state school but they are rated outstanding by ofsted and it seems to have gone to their heads.

DS and his classmates seem to have a very formal day, they do loads of writing...he gets homework every day, which is what I've posted on here about before, he gets loads of homework every day, and it's most often VERY boring worksheets, A3 sheets of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE or MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM etc etc etc.....

Please help me, I know when I go in the teacher is going to be 'sniffy' if not worse about ds, as we don't often return the homework; we do what ds wants to, but he's exhausted in the evenings, so we do what we can during our mornings before school...ds still can barely write his name, and he can't read, and he doesn't count beyond 20. His 'To mum' on his mothers day card was discernible only to my own eye, I think to others it looks a page of scribble......

His understanding is great and I really don't have any worries about him, I feel he will get it all but he simply isn't interested in writing at the moment...

Can anyone reassure me that their child is at the same stage in reception, or is ds really a bit behind????? I want to feel confident when I see the teacher, but at the moment she and some of the more competitive parents are wearing me down!

when DS was in reception I said to the teacher during parent's evening that I didn't believe in homework for a child of this age and that I was more concerned that after 7 hours he spent time relaxing and socialising and using his imagination. I told her that I was happy to do homework if he wanted to and was happy to but that I wouldn't push him if he wanted to play

and she totally agreed with me

I think you might find that she might agree with you

thanks for that twigg. I'd like to think she might agree, but she has given me stern instructions in the past about what I MUST do with him at home...so not totally convinced that she will.....

agree totally with you though, homework in reception is ridiculous.

I always thought that by the end of reception they aim to have them counting to 20

writing depends on development of fine motor skills

DS learned his phonics in reception but reading didn't click for him until first term of Year 1 and his progression has been exponential

just stand firm and tell her that in your opinion and having taken on board some expert opinion you feel it is overload and won't force it and grin sweetly

what can she do? send you to parent prison?

really parent's evening is so that YOU can judge how effective SHE is in her job

she should be keen to impart information about your child .. and I would go in with a list of questions to find out what she knows about your child and how she is helping him in the classroom and ask to see some of his work

although no doubt you'll be given 5 mins and the standard speech that everyone gets

I'd ask her about his social skills and who his best friends are

How often does she do one to one reading with him

What they feel should be acheived by the end of this reception year

why the focus is so formal when they are so little (if that bothers you)

etc etc

thanks again twig. the questions etc are very helpful, and you're right, it IS my chance to check out the quality of teaching!

The have 30 kids, and I'm told that the way they do things is take a small group to the table for some focussed teaching, while the rest of the group are with the TA. I can see it could be much easier to teach small groups chosen as they are roughly at the same stage or ability, but does it give enough time of actual teaching in the day?!?!

i think they do HAVE a parent prison, it's guarded by the school leopard

I"ve jsut had my appt with dds reception teacher, I didn't see it as an opportunity to judge how good the teaching is ( you can't really do that if there isn't any teaching going - it's a lot more than just worksheets and what is written down) I was able to look at dd's writing folder, displays were pointed out where she had work up, and then some comments on how she was doing with literacy and nureracy work. And her social skills as well.
Why don't you volunteer to go in to help out? I've been going in every other week for a few months now and it's given a great insight as to how things are done - THAT's when you can really judge the teaching, if indeed that's something that you want to do.

Just thought - number bonds are only up to 10 for reception.
And it's a continuation of the preschool curriculum, it's not that formal , or it isn't in my experience , in a reception classroom, there are lots of corners - computer, writing, themed corner, quiet area etc etc. There would be a few children in each area and they can move freely ( or be encouraged) within the classroom. Sounds like chaos, but it really isn't. If you can help out, do it. I really enjoy it

thanks hana. I don't think it's appropriate for parents to help in their own child's class, and we've had some issues with inappropriate remarks made by parents outside school, but I might consider helping in another reception class. Thanks.

I'm finding this thread really helpful - ours is coming up soon. thanks for starting it, and twiglett, thanks for the advice. very useful.

summysideup, why don't you think it's appropriate? curious.

oops! sunnysideup!

well, my personal view on it is that it's difficult in many ways;

parents' motivation - MUST in many cases have something to do with seeing how their child gets on in comparison to others, where the other children 'are' in comparison to theirs. If they truly want to help the school through altruistic motives, they can help in another class.

It is difficult for those children whose parents don't or can't help to see their friends' mums in their classroom.

My ds finds it very difficult to separate from me at the start of the day, he does it fine as he's a star, but it's not a joy for him at all; it would be too hard for him to see me come and go in the school day as well. Because of this I don't help in his class, but ds finds it hard that other mums do help, but not me. It puts us both in an unecessarily awkward situation.

If you are in your child's class there is an obvious and unavoidable conflict of interests; you are looking out for your child if they are injured and will 'take your eye off the ball' with the others.

Parents helping out are a valuable resource, but they don't have to be in their own child's class. Much easier for everyone if they are elsewhere. I understood it was very bad practice to teach your own child and that parents should avoid this if at all possible, I believe this is something that teachers address in their training.

oh, and the other thing is that as I mentioned, one or two of the parent helpers are making remarks about children outside school, about their 'judgement' on what the child is like at school. This is totally putting the child and parent in a very difficult and unecessary position; kids progress or personal characteristics should be discussed IN school with qualified and trained people who are actually qualified and trained to have an opinion!

I have twin daughters aged 8 who are now in Y4. Last week I had parent evening with their teacher, who I have met twice before. My children are excrutiatingly shy and this really does inhibit their learning. If anyone else out their has shy children you will understand what I mean. At first when a child is shy, its quite cute. As they get older it becomes less cute and others tend to consider them rude. (I digress). During parent evening the teacher informed me that both my daughters are struggling very badly in most lessons, especially math. I have been aware that they struggle. I recognise things that they cannot do, e.g. when buying penny sweeties they cannot add it up themselves in their heads, they do not know how much change they should get, they do not know their times tables, they cannot tell the time. However I was shocked to hear that they have not progressed since infant school. That is a good 18 months ago!

I was quite appalled that the teacher has not shared her concerns with me until now. I am now a single mother with three children. The eldest 14 in Secondary School. I find it extremely difficult to cope with the homework thing. I work and have to run a household as well. I have always found the pressure of fitting in childrens homework as well to be the straw that breaks the camels back. By the time we are all home from school and work, I have cooked a dinner and cleared it all away and done any household duties I am absolutely knackered. The last thing I want to do and the last thing they want to do is more school work. I am not a teacher! I do not remember my parents sitting with me every evening with literacy and numeracy. I learnt all that in school. Obviously I do what I can with them before we are all so tired that we are short tempered with each other, but I do strongly believe that the children should be learning this in school and too much is put out for them to do at home.

I am now starting to panic about how they are going to cope. If you think about it they only have two more years at Junior level and then they will be going up to Secondary. For them to go into Secondary education so far behind will be absolutely awful.

Sorry to be negative to all you with reception children, but if I were you I would rope your DH's into helping with the homework situation because it is difficult to cope with alone.

that does sound upsetting gti, as you say, it would have been nice to hear the concerns before now...and I totally see how difficult it must be to fit homework in, for three children, as a single mum.

the bits of work we do when ds is willing, we do in the morning, but that's only because ds is a painfully early riser, so we have long mornings before we leave the house! Not the same I'm sure when you're trying to get 3 ready for school and yourself ready for work!

we have our first parents evening coming up and I am nervous about it, I have written some general questions on the slip provided, but I am not looking forward to the meeting,

when we had a meeting just to find out how dd was settling in school, it came as a surprise to hear dd was disruptive in class, I hope the teacher doesn't have any surprises up her sleeve.

my dd's report says she is taking her time with writing and maths, but she is 5 and we have not done a lot of "teaching" her at home, I don't know whether to be concerned at the stage she is at, or to expect her to get the hang of it all at her own pace and just let her be.(we do encourage her and sit every night helping her with homework)

I think her writing is amazing compared to what it was like when she started school, and was pretty much refusing to write, she is still very reluctant to write but will if we sit with her,

I wonder what I can do to help dd, whilst also wondering how much I should reasonably expect her to learn at school?

so like gtimama I am worried about the school not informing me as problems arise, but also don't want to offend the teacher, I know she has lots of other kids to look after and help....

Aef, I personally think you are doing more than enough. I still don't agree with homework for this age group!

If you feel the teacher springs bad stuff on you, I think try to agree with her that she will contact you for an after school meeting as and when problems occur, rather than saving it up for parent's evening. Though you may be surprised, it may be much more positive than you think! Hope so.

Sunny - I'm a former reception teacher. I don't think pages of handwriting homework is suitable or necessary for a reception child. The only "homework" we ever suggested was some shared reading, or some phonics practice for whatever new sound we were working on. Either way, it only took 10 minutes max.

Home time is family time as far as I'm concerned.

Also, another poster is right, Reception should be a play based curriculum, an extension of Nursery with learning done through experiences and exploration.

littlefish, thanks for that. It's good to hear from someone who knows! I do feel the work they do is pitched far higher than it should be. Parent's evening is next week, so I'll update on what is said

I find it very hard with this school, because what they are judging on is simply not what I feel ds should be caring about at the moment!

also the homework is too much - ds had an A£ sheet which we've just DONE - basically he has had a go at each little group of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE's on the sheet, some nearly ok, much of it just scribbles! but then just as I proudly think, ok we can take this back in now, I discover the sheet is double sided and there's a whole new sheet of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE's to do!

Ds is totally BORED by it. Double sided! I can't believe it!

ssu, DS1 who is now 7 and a bit of a whizz with maths could count to 16 in reception (I think at a parents' evening, but later than this stage), I recall that clearly.

We have quite a lot of reception age children who can't write their name.

BTW policy in our school is for parents NOT to help in their child's class, and I agree FWIW. DD is always all over me if she does ever see me when I cam in school, so I dread to think what it would be like if I were actually in her class.

thanks very much for that clary . And good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks ds would find it too hard if I was a classroom helper.

i help out in ds 5 class and really enjopy it. i never compare him to any of the other children or pay him more attention. i never discuss anything that happens in the class. ds is really proud that his mum takes time to come in and read and cook with him and his friends. his little face tells me that when his firends say to him 'your mums great'.

just found this again
I'd be happy to help out where ever I was needed, dd's class or somewhere else. I certainly don't go along to compare her to others or take a sideways glance at how the other children are doing....that's not my motivation or purpose. There isn't a lot of 'teaching' that goes on with any parent helpers that are there - it's only for 90 minutes every other week. And as far as dd is concerned, she of course knows that I"m there, but doesnt' stick to me and in fact, most days that I am there she hasn't bothered to come to my table! I won't have the opportunity to help out when she is in Year 1 and beyond ( I"m back to work in sept and have 2 younger ones as well) am v pleased that I've been able to do the few weeks that I've done so far

hana and mysonsmummmy, I don't suggest that anyone would be spying on their DC and their peers in class.

Just that DD would not be helped by having me in class with her - she would just play up, but no doubt that's to do with her and not all children.

Actually we usually have helpers in a different year from their children too - but we have 3 classes/year so we have that luxury, which I realise many smaller schools do not.