what do you think?

[justncforthisytopic]

NC for this, just a bit of AIBU/AWBU question.

My dc was excluded for class activity for health reasons. This was not first time this year. In previous years, arrangement has been made prior so dc can at least join in some how. (Teacher asking us for advice/suggestion prior, or accommodating some how.)
DC complained about feeling excluded, though teacher suggested joining in and in her mind dc did, but dc says there was no point since dc cannot physically do anything, but just watch other children having fun and enjoy the results in the end.
Spoke to her briefly and she said it didn't even cross her mind, but she will make sure it will never happens again.

I thought it was done. Never happens again was what I wanted.
But stupid me phoned my dh and told him about it. Phone went dead in the middle of conversation, but thought nothing of it.(bad connection etc.)
This morning he dropped the bombshell after dc left for school, that he dropped all his work yesterday and went straight to school to speak to the teacher.
He says he wasn't aggressive or confrontational, but apparently teacher was in meeting and didn't come out, and he spoke to the head of year instead.
My dh is not the one who lose it normally, but me telling him it didn't even cross teacher's mind to think about our dc has done the job.

Now I am dreading, we must be "that parents", and talk of the staff room aren't we?

I don't see why. The teacher should have planned for the event and taken your dc into account. Yes, you had spoken to the teacher and were happy with the outcome but obviously your dh was not. It won't be the first time, or the last, that there is a difference of opinion between parents. Obviously unity is preferable but the teachers should be used to dealing with times when it doesn't occur. I would just make sure that, whatever the outcome of your dh's intervention, you are BOTH happy with it!

Well, he says he wasn't confrontational, but turning up without an appointment could definitely be seen that way. I understand him being pissed off, but important conversations like this are better off being had in a prearranged meeting.

Thanks for your reply.
I know, just storming in without appointment sounds OTT to me, and I really wish he had asked me before doing it.
Too late, it's done now, but I am the one who see the teacher at drop off/ pick up normally!
Teacher doesn't come out in the mornings so I didn't see her this morning, but I may see her this afternoon.
I don't know what to say to her if she saw me, I will try to hide, I think.

What do you want to happen in future? Has the rest of the class got to miss out on doing something because your DC can't for health reasons. That would seem a bit strange. Or were you after the teacher arranging for your Dc to be eg. the referee or umpire if it was a sports thing or in charge of music if it was a dance thing.

Nothing that complicated, it's allergy related, so if the teacher asked us to bring in alternative(which always happened in previous years.), dc can at least join in, even though the results of experiment/activity/whatever may not be the same.
Even if the teacher phone me on the day it was happening, I could still quickly nip to the shop or get something if we have, and dropped in to school.

If it's allergy related and it didn't even cross the teacher's mind, she can probably consider herself lucky that a parent going in to talk to her without an appointment is all she has to deal with.

I'm sure she won't really mind or think of him as 'that parent'. I would have been kicking myself.