Reporting of incidents to parents-obligation of school

[PurpleMadness]

I have an on-going issue with my son being injured at school. He is four and in Reception. He has been dismissed with injuries such as large scratches, huge bruises and he has been attacked with sharp implements and is also on the receiving end of personal verbal abuse and manipulative behaviour.

What I have not been able to establish, despite lots of research online, is what the obligations are of the school to report these incidents to me. I was always informed of much lesser incidents when he was in nursery, and he attended a couple, so they seemed pretty consistent in communicating to both parties. What should they be volunteering to me? Or should I be piecing the story together based on his account and his injuries?

Would be grateful for advice on this! Have looked at Ofsted and Gov guideline docs and they seem to concentrate on preventing abuse at home.

That's not a very pleasant thing to say. Do you really not care if a child is being abused or has a very unsuitable home life? Most people realise that extreme bad behaviour is a symptom of something else. We all want our children to be happy at school but it is vital that children with difficulties are identified and helped. If we shun them, some will be the criminals of tomorrow. Most children lash out for a reason. I have no doubt your DS was affected deeply by his experience but not dealing with the problems of the other child is not an answer and you should care.

Do you really not care if a child is being abused or has a very unsuitable home life?

That's a little unfair bojorojo. Do you really not care if children are being, in turn, abused by these other children? Of course not so it's wrong of you to say to parents who are dealing with their child being attacked for not caring, when actually, all they want is for the 'abuse' to stop on both sides, if indeed, that is the cause of the 'bullying' in the first place. It isn't always.

OP, I really hope you get a satisfactory outcome from this (your DS stops being attacked). Absolutely heartbreaking for you.

" but it is vital that children with difficulties are identified and helped." Of course it is, but it's also vitally important that the other children in the class are safe and protected from any abuse, physical or verbal. Helping doesn't mean ignoring or accepting poor behaviour.

I totally agree mrz. My last post on 22 May makes it clear that schools have a responsibility to keep all children safe. Of course children should not be scared or deeply affected by the behaviour of another child but no parent can assume that the other child is just an evil bully at the age of 4. I firmly believe that all children should be helped, those who are intimidated and the child with poor behaviour, but if the child who exhibits poor behaviour is to stay in the school and not be permanently excluded, investigation into their behaviour, work with the parents/carers and the child and referral to an educational psychologist/behaviour specialist is vital to improve the situation for everyone. What else can be done unless we fund special schools for 4 year olds?

bojo, I've written that comment on purpose.
Now my ds isn't a target of bully, though always get some one off ones because he is a quirky/different child.
So I do get all the PC talk in your statement, but when your child is under attack from some others, do you really think parents have capacity to consider other children's circumstances? Of course the cause have to be determined and dealt with. But that's not the job for victim or their parents. We just want it to stop, nothing else.
Do you expect parents to tell their child that, you need to suffer because XX has a horrible home life, etc.? Or he/she is victim as well so feel sorry for them?
I do see your position as a governor to see the bigger picture, but I do wonder if your children ever suffered horrible bullying that destroy everything for a child.

No. they didn't and to keep it in perspective, most children don't. I have said that it is up to the school to deal with children whose behaviour is unacceptable and not other parents. However if children with poor behaviour are labelled and not helped, then they have a bleak future and in fact possibly worse than your DC. He has the blessing of a caring parent and high intelligence. In my working life, quite a few parents were concerned that a disturbed child got help even if their child had been affected by the child. It is important to keep all children safe and I have reiterated this.

By the way, people who know me would laugh at the PC comment. I think if you talk to anyone in education with a management role they will take extreme bad behaviour very seriously and will work with the child and investigate what is happening. Do you think a 4 year old, as in the original discussion, should be removed and put into an early years holding pen and not allowed out? What would you do about children like this? We all protect our own children but someone has to decide what to do with other less savoury children. So what is your solution?

At the school I work at we report all head bumps however larger or small, significant injuries that might need additional care or bigger bumps caused by another child on purpose.

For instance two children playing bump into each other, one falls and needs a plaster on the knee. I wouldn't report. The parent can see I have cleaned and treated the graze. The child can explain what happened.

Another child stabs with a pencil in anger. I call parent and say your child has been stabbed with a pencil and the appropriate action has been taken. I don't think there is a legal obligation to do so.

The grey area is in scenario one, the grazed knee child might say that they were pushed over. It sounds serious but it's actually a collision and there is no malice (see by adult witnesses) we get lots of incidents like this where a child's impression is they have been 'hit' or 'pushed' and basically young children have rubbish space awareness and actually it's just a total accident which is as much their fault as anyone else's.

I'm not saying this is the case here, but eg the running over could have been your stopped suddenly in front of a child cycling rather than the cycling child tried to run over on purpose. Your child's accurate description is they got run over but more info sheds more light on how and why.

I personally would go and say your a bit concerned about the number of injuries and that whilst you trust they are doing the right behaviour management can they help your child more. He might be nervous about telling adults he has been hurt. It's not on for him poor boy.

It will help the other child too. If they are causing harm, they need help. They are only going to get that help if the full extent of the harm is known,

I'm assuming your child is reporting to the teacher or another adult? Otherwise sometimes incidents go unnoticed and therefore cannot be reported to you.