Teaching a child to read / write

[confusedinlondon]

Hello,
I would like to teach my child to read and write (improve his pen control). Any suggestions about how best to do this.
He is 3 years old. Like most 3 years, he doesn't sit still for long.

I just want to instil a love of learning at an early age. I don't want to pressure him in anyway.

I was thinking of getting the Jolly Phonics books and spending 10 mins a few times a week reading them with him. As well as reading other books to him, to get him into the habit of holding / enjoying a book.

With the writing, I was planning on get some books to practice his pen control.

Any idea or suggestions.

Oh that's odd mrz. DD came to school full of bad habits, the trace then copy approach they used fixed them quickly, I was shocked how quickly. Is it one of those things that works really well for some kids but not for others? Or maybe they're not using them quite the way you're thinking of. I do know for example that they do teach the pen movements first, they don't expect them to work them out just from tracing. I'd expect a parent using one of those books to supervise at first too.

I suppose the link you give does say trace then copy is no better than look then copy, not that it's worse. So at worst they're getting a bit of extra pen control practice in the trace step before they copy.

But even if it did work, it wouldn't make much sense for OP - school could be using a completely different style, and why go through the pain of learning letter formation twice?

I got ds some workbooks to learn to write very early(2 years old?), and didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. Actually didn't even think about it.
His desire to write was so great, before he was able to, he asked me to cut out alphabet pieces from magazines, etc. to write. He used to make list of names and models of the cars on paper with those.
I think my ds's case was a bit different from normal children, since he spent so much time on hospital bed as a toddler.
Once he started to write, I think he learned it properly, and I don't remember teacher saying he had problem with letter formation etc.

I think It's difficult for normal parents to know what's right and what should be avoided. But most of them do it for their children's sake, so I find it quite sad if someone says just don't do it, or leave it to school, or too early.

People who come to MN are lucky, that they can get best advice from experts.

I don't know the Jolly Phonics books, but have had other phonics books and they're usually really boring to read to the child as by necessity, the word sounds are more important than the story. They are designed for children who have some grasp of phonic sounds and are starting to read by themselves. I wouldn't bother with phonics books until your child has a grasp of phonics whenever that may be. Stick to simple (non-phonic) story books for story times.
If your child shows an interest in learning sounds, then alphablocks (on you tube) might be of interest. Or as others have mentioned, I spy, starting with the sound, rather than the letter name.

Tracing is great for pencil control. I wouldn't recommend Look and copy or tracing as useful strategies for anyone.

Sorry mrz, you wouldn't let the children even /look/ at letter formation when they're practising? Or have I misconstrued that one-liner?

I taught the alphabet and sang it and did phonetic sounds from time to time too
For me it was more important to count and teach numbers
But I did lots of reading to get them into the habit and lots of games

I wouldn't give them something to copy catkind I'd teach them how to form the letters rather than to draw letter shapes

Just drawing letter shapes is exactly what DD would do if you didn't give her a prompt. Capital or lower case at random. If you gave her a reminder, particularly if she'd just traced it following the arrows thereby making the correct hand movement, she was much more likely to remember the formation she'd been taught. Is she really so unusual in needing a reminder? She had all the correct formations down by autumn half term, so I hardly think she's slow.

The teacher is the prompt talking the child through the movements until it becomes automatic

I'm imagining someone trying to teach me a different handwriting style by verbally describing the strokes. And then shuddering slightly, and being very glad DC's school work the way they do.

Talking through and describing aren't the same thing

DS's school have little descriptions that they prompt with "around the apple and down the leaf" for "a", for example. Though they do also have yellow highlighter letters for tracing - I didn't realise that was ineffective.

Was just browsing, an interesting discussion. I don't have kids, and it's been many many years since I was doing this myself. Just commenting as the discussion re 'look then copy' was what I was doing independently as I started to form letters. I've still got one of the books that I added to - mog the forgetful cat - and I've copied out letters on one of the pages. Looking at the book I can remember the feeling of forming the letters. I loved the book, and it was almost like conjuring. It was pre-words or at least pre sentences. It looks like shapes were the thing. This was an independent activity, which I couldn't have done if I'd been talked through. I read/wrote early. We had lots of books. I think 3 is a bit early for actual writing though. There's no evidence that being early is an advantage - don't we start children at school earlier than many other countries?

Encourage them to draw spirals , swirls and zig zags.

And singing the alphabet as you would any other song. If some if it sticks, that's great but not to learn by rote.
Read books to them, make sure they see you reading for pleasure. And see you writing shopping lists - play pretend with that.

What do you see as the difference between "talking through" and "verbally describing" the strokes? I was intending to paraphrase not change your description. Or do you mean there is a visual prompt too and that's what you talk through?

At the age of three, your best course of action is to read lots and lots of books, sing rhymes and songs and encourage fine motor skills with activities like playdough, threading beads and sand. In most cases three in too young for formal reading and writing, but you can start pointing out simple things like the initial sound in a word and the letter that makes that sound. e.g. This word says 'dog'. What sound does dog begin with? 'Duh'. This is the letter that sounds like 'duh'. 'Duh' for dog.

Well to start with children have seen writing/letters in context many many times (phonics children's writing displayed everywhere in school, teacher modelling when writing stories etc etc) so they don't need them to be described.
Talking through correct formation - where do we start the letter? That's right, whoosh up to the top, now back round and up and down and flick ...a beautiful a well done! Can you do another? Don't forget start on the line etc etc

Just to be clear I'm not advocating teaching three year olds to write. As I said much better to do lots of pre writing fun activities.

Cat, to my understanding, "talking through" is something you explain the method while showing how to do it physically. (Khan use this method for programming, and very effective.)
"Verbally describing" seems to me just telling how to do it in words, not physically showing how.

Irvine, was that a x post? sounds like mrz did mean more like your description of "describing". Which is what I thought at first, but then I wasn't sure when she said it was different from describing!
How's that for a knotted paragraph.

Mrz, yes that's what I thought you meant. I'm imagining trying to teach an English person French letter formation that way for example. DD had about the degree of familiarity with cursive letter formation that I had with French, it's familiar and easily recognisable but I've seen much more of UK, as DD had seen much more of print. The first thing I'd want would be a printed template to copy. If someone offered to coach me a couple of times, great, but then I'd want to be left alone to practise with the template. Not being allowed a visual reminder or insistence on coaching every time would be really annoying.

It's very easy to teach children that way I've managed with hundreds of pupils over the years even those who've originally learnt to copy letter shapes incorrectly

Yes, it was, cat. I got distracted while typing, and also I am very slow typer.

If you want him to love learning then don't force reading and writing on him at 3!!
Play with him, snuggle up and read stories, talk to him, answer questions, give him access to loads of writing and art and craft materials and sit with him doing your own so you're a good role model. Do sensory play like making lines and circles in sand, flour and shaving foam.
3 is too young for the formal stuff unless he shows an interest.

Yes Irvine it's modelling with the child and talking about each movement as it's made to complete the letter/s. First the teacher models then the child writes.