How do I approach this?

[MamaBear7a]

DD is 4, in a small class at school. She has had problems with one of the boys, and we have mentioned it in passing to the staff. I see it as nothing more than the delights of being 4/5. DD is by far the youngest in the class and socially not as advanced.

Today when I went to collect her I passed the HT who said they had just been having tea with DD (milk and biscuit at the end of the day). A little unusual but nothing too off (HT being there that is).

In the car on the way home she was recalling her day and this boy came up again. Today he had scratched her at the top of her leg and pulled down her pants and scratched her. She was unable to be specific as to where he scratched her on her body but told me at what time during the day.

I have to admit, she is 4 so i took it with a pinch of salt, but fast forward to shower time and she has a new bruise on her pubis. Apparently that's what this boy had done. I've asked a few questions but tried to keep it light, asked her to show me how he scratched etc, because you can't get a round bruise from a scratch.
I'm a bit confused as to what to do now. I will talk to her teacher, I need to make sure that I am dropping her to school in a safe place. I suspect the HT is already aware and that would explain the impromptu drop in to tea time. Which then leads me onto why wasn't I informed?
Should I take a photo of the bruise? What good would it do?

What a horrible thing to hear from your 4 yr old. Well done for staying calm. I don't have any great advice on handling it but yes I'd def want to speak to the teacher in the morning. It's not great if they knew and didn't tell you, so kind of hoping they didn't.

I don't think I'd want to worry the child by taking pictures of their bum, I don't see why anyone would need evidence of a reception class injury. I'd maybe jot down in writing somewhere what you saw - bruise, location, size, what she said, date. Really only as insurance for a worst case scenario where this becomes a pattern so you can pinpoint what/when.

The school must record this incident and it should have been reported to you if they knew about it. There is no doubt about this. What the school do now is up to their procedures but they do need advice from other professionals about the behaviour of this child. It is critiical action is taken because this is not just messing about. Do go back and see the Head. Do not take pictures. At the very least the behaviour of the other child should be monitored closely and your DD should not be alone with him in the playground or in school. Also, try and tell her that if she is concerned about anything (such as a child doing this to her), she must tell a teacher straight away. She must not accept it as play. Hope it goes well for you both.

Thank you for the support. I have just returned from the school.

It turns out whilst this is the first incident of this sort, his behaviour prior to this means it is just and extension of what he is already doing. So it wasn't a huge surprise for the teacher. It does now get escalated quickly within the school. I've asked them not to talk to dd unless I am present, I want her to be comfortable and not feel as though she has done wrong. Her story is consistent which is the most important thing.

I guess now we just wait and see.

Agree with Bojorojo, this is a safeguarding issue and the school need to respond. They should have raised it with you if they were aware of the bruise and its location and indicated that they are taking appropriate action.
It is totally right that you go back to the head teacher and explain that you are aware of the bruise and ask whether the school were aware of this and where it is. It is not a matter of blame at the moment it is matter of informing the school what the situation is, so that they can take appropriate action. I suspect that the school do not know the location of the bruise but do know that the other child is exhibiting some negative behaviours. If that is the case then the school will respond and there will be further action taken. However other than you getting reassurance that things are happening and that there will be greater supervision of the other child they will not tell you any more of what is a confidential issue with the other child.
You need to be attentive to your child and be clear with her that she should tell you if anything else happens.

I would suggest confirming your verbal discussions, request and the agreed actions in writing with the school. Useful to have it clearly agreed and for reference.

This needs to go through the safe guarding person.

Ask for feed back on how it is being felt with