So there I am, clearing out ds's schoolbag of half a term's accumulated detritus of squashed bits of homework and out-of-date party invites when I find a snotty little note:
'Dear Parent/Carer
As part of our bid to gain Healthy Schools status we have been checking children's lunchboxes to support families in helping their children eat healthily. Earlier this term you were given a list of foods that should not be brought into school, and we ask you to respect these guidelines when preparing your child's lunch.
Thank you
Headteacher'
The list includes, predictably enough, sweets, chocolate bars, biscuits(!), crisps, any drinks that aren't water or plain fruit juice and pretty much anything else containing sugar or fat. No playtime snacks are allowed apart from fruit.
Ds has been ill, on and off, since before Christmas with mysterious viruses that give him temperatures. He's always on the skinny side, but currently looks like gulag boy. Every rib and every vertebra is visible, he's deathly pale and he has little hollows under his cheekbones.
How, fergodsake, am I supposed to get enough calories into this child when the govt and schools are hellbent on persuading us we should be feeding them nothing but carrot sticks and apples? He has a healthy diet, eats lots of fruit and veg (when he eats at all, that is), we have nonsugary breakfast cereals, wholemeal bread, freshly-cooked suppers, no fizzy drinks and very few sweets. What is bl**dy well wrong with putting a packet of crisps and a penguin biscuit into the lunchbox of a very active, naturally skinny child who clearly needs to be fattened up a bit? Yes, I know there's a national obesity crisis, blah blah, but not in my family there isn't. And not in his class either, from what I can see -- all his friends look like twiglets on legs as well.
I'm not looking for advice really, just sounding off. Think I will include a note to his form teacher on Monday saying that if they want to discuss the contents of ds's lunchbox they can telephone me in person. I just really hate this idea they're giving the kids that there are healthy foods and unhealthy foods, and that everything containing fat and sugar is automatically bad for you.