What is going on with my son, and am i making it worse?!

[Twinkladdictmum]

Internet, please diagnose my child! He is 6. He's very articulate, chatty, emotionally switched on, great communication skills, creative and so so cuddly! His school is Outstanding, within the top 100 in the country for literacy, amazing sats etc. And my boy cannot read. Or write. He has phonics interventions, literacy interventions, maths group, god knows what, and despite all this expert contact time, he is tanking.

He can just write a diminutive form of his name. He can maybe identify a few numbers, but cannot decode at all. His writing and drawing is incredibly immature and he swaps hands too sometimes. School tested him for dyslexia but then ruled it out. He struggles with coordination and gross motor planning sometimes, and school say he loses focus sometimes but i suspect at least some of that is that he just cant do what the class is doing. He seems so bright and yet can't count anything over 5 and usually climbs under the table when asked to do anything tricky!

I thought i was helping by printing pictures and words and sticking them around the house but now i hear that is encouraging sight reading and is WRONG!

His twin is also "behind" but can decode, do basic maths, and will read when it suits him. He has hearing problems which may have contributed to things, but that seems to be clearing and he seems to be getting on ok.

What is going on and what should i do?

What did the school actually do test him for dyslexia? And how did this enable them to rule it out? I am not sure if he has just turned 6 and is in year one and, if so, I can understand that at this age they would say it is too early to say but to rule it out categorically seems strange.

Have a look on the British dyslexia association website, there is also information on Dyscalculia there as well.

Swapping hands or no hand dominance, lack of fine and/gross motor skills, could be a number of things, joint Hypermobility is possible.

OT and Physio are usually referred to for that.

OP is it possible that their outstanding school is good at supporting children whose performance is outstanding, but not so good at helping the ones who need a bit more TLC?

Hope you find a solution that makes you all happy.

Thankyou so much for your posts! We saw the community paediatrician and i made a note of all your suggestions.

So he had a feel of his joints and said he is bendy but not Ehlers Danlos severity. He asked him to draw some figures and said that they were more what you might expect of a much younger child, under 4. But he also said that all of the descriptions from me and from school indicate ADD. So it's confusing - he thinks he is either rather delayed in his abilities, or he hass ADD which is interfereing in his learning.
The ADD nurse is going to come to see him in school amd he suggested we ask to see an Ed Psych too.

The paed also saud he wasnt sure if dyslexia existed, as opposed to a label of specific lesrning difficulty. And he agreed that the outstanding school might not be the best place for a less able child.

I'm so sorry to hear your situation.

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been offered aside from saying if it's an outstanding school they should be differentiating for all abilities...if it was me I'd keep my child at an outstanding school rather than move to anything lower on the ratings unless they were unhappy.

What is his memory likea? Could he remember six or seven objects, in order, if you showed them to him the hid them? What about if you said what they were? Could he remember them then? I have worked with children with memory problems who could not learn to read/write/draw until we fixed the memory difficulties.

*like not likea - bloody phone!!

Teacake yes he is happy and they are differentiating for him and are going to attempt to retest him for dyslexia in the next few months.

Midnightlurker his memory is either rubbish or terrifyingly good. Mostly rubbish unless it is something he is interested in AND he is calm etc etc.

'School tested him for dyslexia but then ruled it out.'
At age 6 they have ruled out dyslexia? That's ridiculous. Who assessed him?

Agree with dibbley
Don't think dyslexia assessment usually done as early at 6. DS was assessed aged 8-9 as it was deemed too early before then. Should also be completed by Ed Psych and not school.

Hope you get an answer.

If school have tested for dyslexia it is likely to be a basic screening test, could you find out which test they did? A proper assessment can take all day.

It was a basic screening, on a computer and he wouldnt do it properly and kept messing with stuff.

So, what do we do now? The ed psych is coming in to see my elder child regarding his EHCP and i asked could he see this one on the same day but was told by school that his schedule was too tight.

We have private health insurance but i dont know if it woukd cover any of this. They wouldnt touch my son with ASD.

another one with a dyspraxic child who sounds quite similar. The avoidance is probably anxiety related due to not actually being able to do the things that are being asked of him. If there is a notable gap between ability (articulate, chatty etc) and his ability to acquire skills (writing, reading, basic sums are skills) then dyspraxia a possibility. My DD is very able, but it is hard for her to embed the things she learns - she has to do them over and over again. Imagine being able to drive, but having to remember all over again how to do it every time you get in the car. Sequencing and breaking down tasks is very difficult for her

Sight reading can work really well, your certainly not doing anything wrong with trying it. I'm a SEN teacher and phonics certainly isn't for everyone, sight reading is just a different method.
I get many children starting at my school in year 5 & 6 and coming in to my class completely unable to read or write with a really high level of anxiety. With the right support and interventions they are reading and writing and enjoying learning. Hopefully this is reassuring and you find some answers.

Phonics is the approach recommended for dyslexia/SPLD. It can appear to be an ineffective method if children are not developmentally ready or are moved on too quickly.

Rhetoratician, how did you get a diagnosis? Did you go through EHCP?

Badhairday vs Dibbley thankyou both but can you see my confusion?

The Paediatrician said that he wasn't sure if Dyslexia existed as opposed to a label of a specific learning difficulty

Dyslexia is a specific learning difficulty. The British Dyslexia Association website has some really good information on it, please take a look at it, at the top of their main page there are several coloured tabs click on the one that says dyslexic on the left hand side of this page there are a number of categories please read through them, then read through the parent page.

Dyslexia often has co morbid conditions such as ADD, Dyscalculia or Dyspraxia, it occurs independently of intelligence.

Paed said he is bendy but not EDS severity

Joint Hypermobility doesn't have to be of EDS severity for it to cause problems with fine and gross motor skills, my DS is 16, has excessive joint Hypermobility (not EDS severity) but his handwriting is more like that of a less than 9yr old.

It sounds as if the Paed knows a little about a lot of things but doesn't specialise in anything.

Will you be there when the ed psych is going to the school about your other son's EHCP? If you have one child with ASD it is possible that your other DS also has ASD, not every child with ASD is the same, Both of mine have AS but both present differently DH has almost certainly got AS too but presents completely differently to both my kids, all 3 meet the criteria for a DX.

You can work on improving his memory at home. ADD makes it hard to pay attention, so then you don't remember anything - it can be overcome though, and if the basic memory is Ok, you just need to get him to focus on the thing you are trying to teach him. Endless interventions will achieve nothing if he is not paying attention and remembering what they are trying to teach him.

The paed also saud he wasnt sure if dyslexia existed, as opposed to a label of specific lesrning difficulty.

What an odd thing to say, 'specific learning difficulties' is a generic term for a number of difficulties of which dyslexia is but one specific one!

It was a basic screening, on a computer and he wouldnt do it properly and kept messing with stuff.

So, on the basis of a basic screening which couldn't even by applied properly, they have ruled out dyslexia - how bizarre!

You are not doing anything wrong, there are words all over the place, you either know what they say or you don't; I doubt if their mere presence would create a decoding inability. Also the outstanding school isn't necessarily bad for your DS, it is just that its outstanding nature might be a bit of a red herring where a child has specific difficulties.

The messing about may also be a cover for anxiety. A proper diagnosis would be good but at the same time things may improve with maturity.

Dyspraxia is a huge barrier to learning - my DS has ASD and dyspraxia and I'd say it's the dyspraxia that has caused him most problems.

His teacher said he has made the most progress in creative writing than any child she's ever taught: why? Because they gave him a laptop. He physically can't handwrite - used to take him 40 minutes to write two lines. He now routinely writes stories of 500 words. He's not dyslexic either btw.

Keep pushing