Should I ask for DD to be in different Reception class from this girl from preschool?

[minipie]

Bit of a back story, explained by my previous thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2673014-How-do-I-help-DD-3yo-deal-with-this-girl-in-her-class

Anyway it turns out that A is going to go to the same school as DD in September.

From what I can tell A has continued to be the same, and a new trait has appeared - she tells other children to do naughty things so that they get in trouble . In fact A's mum was telling me that A does this with her little sister...

Unfortunately DD is the kind of child who would fall for that trick, she has no guile at all and won't realise she's being set up, she'll just think it sounds fun.

It also looks like A is still a bit of a stirrer with her comments and inclusion/exclusion of others. Again DD is unfortunately the kind of child to react, she is usually tired due to a medical condition and is easily wound up as a result.

You can see where this is going. I'm worried that A will use these tactics on DD - especially as they are already "friends" - and DD will react and look bad as a result.

Should I ask the school if DD and A can be in separate classes? It's a 3 form entry so not hard to achieve. There are a few others going from the same pre school and no issues with any of them.

I am nervous about casting DD (or myself!) as "difficult" by asking this, however I do think it would work out better for DD.

If the advice is that I should ask school - then when would be the best time? Now? Easter? June? When do class lists get allocated usually - I don't want to ask after they've been done as that would be a pain.

I'll need to speak to the school about her medical issues anyway (school is aware of diagnosis but I need to talk to them about a plan to deal with tiredness) so thought I could raise it at the same time. Just not sure when that is.

Thanks very much, sorry it's long.

Whosthemummy I'm uncomfortable with that too - if you read my prev thread I said I didn't want to demonise her. I'm not using nasty terms about A. I'm just describing her behaviour (which I've seen myself).

It is worth trying to instill into DD that she should make her own decisions and also to walk away when people are nasty rather than shouting or fighting or whatever. Absolutely agree, we have been telling DD this often, it has definitely helped but when she is very tired (which is a lot more than the average child) she forgets and does react. I am worried she will be even more tired when she starts school and so will be more likely to react if wound up.

Thanks again everyone.

Quack interesting idea. Thank you. The school knows the nursery well and will definitely take their suggestions into account. I will ask the nursery what they think, we have a parents evening coming up in Feb.

I think "don't bring out the best in each other" is a good thing to say.

On the whole I think the school would prefer to avoid the conflict themselves.

School places haven't been allocated for September - are you sure you will both get a place?

I'd let the school know that there's been a problem in the past. I'm sure they'd rather know.

When DS started secondary school they had chance to name up-to 3 people they'd like to be in a class with and 3 they wouldn't. School didn't promise they could manage to take everyone's preferences into account but they did their best.

I work in a primary school, and when they go up to senior school, our head teacher always gives the heads up about which "friendships" should be split up by putting them in different tutor groups, and I think this is common practice. So schools are used to this, and you have nothing to lose by asking.

Thank you for further replies. More coming out in favour of mentioning it to school. Yes I would use "don't bring out the best in each other" as the reason.

Definitely mention it. Loads of parents make requests like this. Very reasonable.

Our nursery actively tells the primary schools children are going to which kids shouldn't be placed together. This is at the schools request.

Definitely mention it to your preschool.