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Primary education

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Original poster

Only my child being punished for situation

9 replies

wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:02

My 7 year old came home yesterday and through dribs and drabs of a story,I found out there had been an altercation between him and his friends and 2 other lads in the year above. Hes admitted calling one of the older boys ugly but has said it was only as retaliation as the other boy had done it first.
He got taken out of class by a TA to talk about this situation and got told he would be missing Monday's breaktime with his friends. Fine,he should have walked away from the situation. Missing break seems a bit heave handed but it's a one off.

Where I'm having real problems is that the older child,who told this TA about my son calling him ugly,is not being punished at all according to DS,which seems stupidly unfair. My son has dyspraxia which can effect his memory so Im aware he may have misunderstood. But if he does go in on Monday and is sanctioned and the other kid isn't,I'm gonna be pretty annoyed.

There's also the fact that the TA made my son cry. He has problems processing his emotions and I just feel she was a bit heavy handed with him to make him cry. Being a supply teacher myself,I have to be very strict on kids I teach but can probably count on one hand the number of children I've made cry. And I've always spoken to them about the situation after.

It doesn't help that I supply at the school,have done for years,and have seen this TA be,imo,too harsh on the kids.

Any advice?!

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SheSparkles · 03/12/2016 08:06

I think you need to,speak to school on Monday and find out their version of events, but mostly clarify why in his understanding, your son's the only one to face a sanction.
FWIW I think to carry a sanction over a weekend to the Monday is really unfair. I know it's the next available break time, but really? Some teachers need to think outside the box

monkeywithacowface · 03/12/2016 08:08

Well really until you go in and ask for the full facts it's a bit premature to get annoyed. Kids only ever tell half a story at the best of times and you say yourself your DS has difficulty remembering stuff plus he's only 7 so I imagine it's not that difficult to make them cry when they're in trouble.

Give him a hug and tell him not to worry about it anymore and then pop in on Monday and have a chat. If she has been heavy handed and your DS is the only one being punished then I would be unhappy

user789653241 · 03/12/2016 08:10

You say you aren't sure that ds may have misunderstood or not, so why don't you have a chat with teacher/ta to find out what happened/ happening.
No point getting annoyed by the info which may not be true.
Crying really depend on each child. Just because your ds cried, it doesn't mean ta was unreasonable.

Original poster

wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:16

Yes,I'll go ask the teacher after Monday if the sanction happens..I think it's just playing on my mind this weekend as this term has been a real struggle for him and I finally feel I've turned a corner with his diagnosis and getting him the support he needs,then he's upset about this.

But yes,I will see what happens on Monday then maybe asl

OP posts:

Starlight2345 · 03/12/2016 08:24

I spoke to the school about an incident today..I made it very clear I was aware there could be more to this than my DS had said..Suprise suprise there was..So yes I always go in with a fact finding mission if something doesn't sit right.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 03/12/2016 08:24

Your son was unkind, it's only right that he receives a sanction.

The school will not tell you how they handle other children, it's not your place to know. I would be very suprised if all boys didn't receive the same.

Talk to the school if you want to, but personally I'd be telling my DD that this is what happens if you say unkind things to people and let her learn from it.

KittyVonCatsington · 03/12/2016 08:36

Why have you posted this in two places, OP, with slightly different opening posts? Are you hoping for two different sets of answers?

Witchend · 03/12/2016 09:41

Ds' school has 5 words that they are expressly told not to use on other people. "Ugly" is one of them.

Pud2 · 03/12/2016 18:14

As other posters have said, the school won't be able to talk about other children and anyway, how does your son know that the other child wasn't spoken to? Your child did the wrong thing. The school have punished him and you should be supporting the school. Whatever you do, don't go in on Monday with all guns blazing as it will do your son no favours at all.

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