Help 7 year old refusing to go to school

[Mumfortoddler]

Hi all,
DS 7 only child, we moved here six months ago and changed schools. He's always gone to school but is now faking illness to get off of school. I'm in a new relationship (two months in). DS has been off 3 days now and refusing to go in claiming he's ill and has a go at me for calling him a liar, I can't see any visible forms of illness apart from the sniffles. He's been bouncing around once off. I made him stay in his bed all day today and hoping to bore him back to school again and banned TV until he goes back. He's reluctantly stayed in bed. I've had a chat with him to see if its a ploy for more mummy time and he has said that he's fine with everything, also no problems at school it would seem other than the odd falling out in the playground. He used to love school, not really sure what to do as this is the fifth time he's faked being ill this term since September, each time finding more elaborate ways to pretend. What do you think Mumsnetters? My son is bright and enthusiastic about learning usually, he seems OK...Well, apart from the fact he just stomped on my foot on purpose. HELP!

Could you speak to the school and see if there is anything which could be bothering him.

On a side note. My friend kept her daughter off one day and when she started being fine a little while later, she took her to school and it stopped the faking illness.

So did you call him a liar?
Something isn't right with him if this is a new thing so I guess it's finding out what happening. He may not know why he doesn't want to go to school just he doesn't feel happy or safe there. I would definitely be speaking to school and getting them involved in getting him back ASAP. Not fun when you have a school refuser but the longer he is off her harder it will be. You've done the right thing by making his day as boring as possible if you think he is faking it.

Ds is 9yo, never been too keen on school. He was badly ill last winter and discovered that he rather likes a day at home. Whereupon whenever he feels not totally 100% he expects a day off.
I spoke to the office staff and apologised for potentially sending him in ill, and said that I was always happy to come and pick him up if they think he's ill.
They're very happy for me to do that-and I think he's been sent home once and that was when he got worse after I'd sent him in.
I tell him that sometimes we do have to go in when we're not feeling totally well, and if we take too many days off when we're okay to go in and would prefer to be at home we can't take time off later when we're feeling really bad. He seems to have taken that in. (he's currently off though!)
I also tell him I need evidence (vomit/temperature).

Maybe he 's finding difficult to adjust to the move and your new relationship?
I agree, he may not know why he isn't happy. All those emotions, maybe difficult for him to express to you in words.
I don't know....
It could be finding difficulty with new friendships in new school... sorry, I am not helping, maybe try to have a cuddly long chat with him to find out what he is feeling overall?

He sounds like he doesn't feel safe or happy at school, and he might not be able to articulate why.
If mine did this I would give it lots of space and time, and not push it. School might know what is affecting him, but of it's too intangible for him to say, possibly not.

Hi all
Day 4 and day 3 boring him to tears have him a steely determination to go back today. He said he had a bad day when he came home and was stressed but wouldn't elaborate why. He's often very sensitive though, takes every knock back in the playground to heart. Got into his classroom for a parents activity today and he seems actually to have made good friends in fact.

Re lying. I didn't call him a liar but I did call him out on being ill because my mum looked after him Tuesday and he was insistent on dancing around doing charades all day. He's usually pretty obvious when he is poorly.

Tonight though he had an almighty tantrum and he started name calling and yelling at me, and pushed me and told me he wants a new mother. Maybe its the repercussions of sending him back? Think the new relationship might be affecting him. New dp is very kind with my DS though and they don't see each other that often yet. Has patience of a saint.

Overall since we move ds seems to have found school okay but the subjects have been harder because of teaching styles being different/writing techniques etc. He's really dropped in terms of his achievements and is operating at a lower level in new school and they won't move him up. He seems to be regressing rather than making progress.