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DS1 gave out his 6th birthday party invites in the playgroung - I know I am silly but I couldn't help feeling bad that we haven't invited some of my friends DC's

7 replies

josben · 13/02/2007 14:37

This year i've thought, i'm not doing a big bouncy castle/soft play party and catering for 25 odd kids as I've done in the past, DS1 can choose 12 friends to invite to a playbarn party, making it easier for me (just have to provide a cake) and also not so expensive...

But this morning in the playground I felt really uncomfortable and cringey as DS1 gave out his invites for his party and so some of my friends DC's were not invited.

I know I'm mad to feel like this , but I can't help it - does anyone else have these kind of dilemmas when it come to their DC's parties?

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portonovo · 13/02/2007 14:44

No, not at all. We invited who my child wanted and that was it. Usually only 5-6 children.

Let's face it, most invites are from children who are inviting the whole class or just making up the numbers. It's not that they really want my child or your child! I've seen so many parties where the birthday child doesn't even acknowledge most of the children except to take the presents.

I prefer parties where the child invites their 'real' friends.

Don't apologise to your friends or anything, it's just life.

josben · 13/02/2007 15:27

Yes, i do agree with you.... but I would always feel bad if i didn't return an invite whether it be for a coffee morning, or kids party ! But you're right, life's not like that...

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portonovo · 13/02/2007 16:29

I suppose that's where I differ a bit then - I don't ever feel obliged to return an invite. I just work on the principle that the host (or birthday child or whatever!) should be inviting someone for their company, not for the pressie or a hope of a return invite.

Seriously, my 3 children have had party invites from children who never speak to them at school, or even seem to dislike them but invite the whole class anyway! We soon developed a hardened approach to the whole business!

Although I do 'soften' my approach by sending in cakes for the whole class.

I'm glad my 3 are all past that stage!

HEIFER · 13/02/2007 16:38

Know what you mean..

My DD is only 3 but this year she wanted to invite her friends to her party - so had 6 or so of her friends at home for a lunch time party.

Then in the early evening I invited my friends and their children round (who are older anyway)..

USAUKMum · 13/02/2007 17:32

I'm facing this now. DD wants a party at home, limited to 10. She hasn't chosen 2 DC of some friends (but not close friends). Both of the mothers will be quite put off I think.

So to answer your question YES !

glad to hear that others think it isn't so much a problem....

mysonsmummy · 18/02/2007 22:59

portonovo - wow you've got a low opinion of your child. i'd never invite kids to make up numbers.

portonovo · 19/02/2007 11:52

No, not a low opinion of any of my children - this is exactly what people I know do. They just book somewhere for the whole class because it's easier, so the child gets more presents (unbelievable but yes, I've had both kids and mums say this to me!), because the hall or whatever holds so many so they 'might as well' invite some more, or because they don't want to offend other children or their mums. Or school politics gets involved - we want to invite A and B but that means we have to have C because A, B and C always do things together.

My own children only ever invited people they really wanted to invite, real friends, and we had some smashing parties. They never invited people they didn't really get on with, didn't know very well or were only inviting because the other child had invited them to a party a few weeks earlier. All of which things happen regularly it seems.

Sorry if I seem so cynical, but my children have been invited to literally hundreds of parties between them and we've seen it all!

To be honest, my 3 got fed up of a lot of parties anyway - to be invited to crowded parties in the same old places (in our town usually a choice of about 4 same-old venues), lost its appeal fairly soon and my children soon got more discerning. They soon stopped wanting to go to every party to which they were invited, and just wanted to go their best friends' parties.

I still maintain that an invitation given to only 6-12 children, from someone who really wants YOU there, is much more worthwhile than one casually handed out to 30 children by a child who normally wouldn't give you the time of day.

But like I said earlier, all that is long behind us, and I think we're all glad!

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