Inviting friends over

[PrincessWatermelon]

My DD started reception this Sept and on the whole enjoys it. However, she says often that she hasn't got friends or didn't have anyone to play with. I don't think this is entirely true, as she seems to be friendly with lots of her classmates when they come out of school. But I wonder if she hasn't yet made a good friend - connected with one child in particular.

I was thinking about inviting a friend home for dinner, to see if that'd help a friendship grow. But I only do school pick up twice a week and don't get to see many parents (breakfast club drop off).

Do you think I could ask the teacher to put a note in the bag of the possible friend? As a parent would you find this tricky as you obviously wouldn't know who I was and would you want to come too? Not sure the best way to make it happen. Thanks.

Yes I am sort of having a similar issue - what I have asked is can teacher let me know if there are one or two children emerging as favourites with my DS and I will take it from their.

Giving note to teacher is perfectly acceptable. But if you do do even occasional pick ups it would be much better to ask your child to point out "Sarah's mum" so you can talk to them yourself.

As a parent I would not be remotely bothered to send my child home with a random parent I'd seen around school. However, based on other MN threads, I am obviously more laid back than others, so I would factor in the parent wanting to come, or at least to come for a cup of tea and then subsequently leaving.

I'd just put a note in the other child's bookbag myslf, if I had access to the classroom. You can ask the teacher if not, but if poss I would phrase it as "please may I..." rather than "please could you..."

I have contacted other parents this way, and been contacted, and this has led to playdates. I might be a bit twitchy this early in reception though - to be on the safe side you could suggest the parent and any siblings are welcome to stay if they want.

When you pick up twice a week do you see many of the other parents? Might be worth asking your DD at pickup to point out any of her friends and see if she mentions anyone - then you can introduce yourself to the other parent.
My DD didn't really do after school tea with friends until the second term of reception, because they are so tired after school. I always thought a tired play date might backfire and not be conducive to friendship! Plenty of time over the course of the year to make friends.

Time to get to know the other parents, twice a week pick up is more than I had! Chat to parents you recognise at every opportunity. Also think it's a bit early for play dates, but getting to know the parents even just a say hello and a quick nice weather is the first step.

Could you invite a friend over during half term, if you are home? Probably with mum too. Might be less stressful than trying to fit it in after school.

I would leave it a while. Wait til parties start & get to know the other parents a bit first.
It is really hard, especially when you don't pick up drop off & if your dd is new to the school & others have been at school nursery together, this was me last year but it's still early days. Maybe go to the park/local play area at half-term, bound to bump into someone from school.
I'm laid back but don't think I'd have let dd go home with someone I didn't know 4 weeks into term.
Check with teacher - you may find that she's fine socially anyway.

Thank you everyone. My DD has mentioned one girl in particular, they share the same name, and consequently I know which child my DD means! I have actually chatted briefly to her mum as well. I will see if I can catch her next time I do pick up and sound her out. I'm working most of half term, sadly, but that may be a better option, as they'll be far less tired and more excited to see a school friend.

Yes, I think parents are really different. Some parents are quite happy just let DC go with you, some may want to come for the first time. Myself would always go with DC for the first time he go to a friend's house(of course in reception year or year 1).

It seems quite early days to be worrying.
My ds has just started in reception and has switched her best friend every week....

She's not my first though. I'd not worry about play dates until after half term.