I am in exactly the same situation but a year on.
I was told all through Reception and Y1 that DD was a very bright kid and once she decided to learn to read and write that she would fly through the levels. School wasn't worried, so I didn't worry. She did have an extra 2hrs a week of phonics after school for the whole of Y1.
Halfway through Y2, DD's teacher raised the possibility that she might be dyslexic and we agreed that we would massively concentrate on the reading at home and he would watch her over the summer term. End of summer term he told us that he was pretty much certain that she is dyslexic and we might want to start looking into that.
Did some research over the summer, spoke to DD's new Y3 teacher at the beginning of term as I was planning on getting a private Ed Psych done and didn't want to spring the forms on them out of the blue.
Teacher arranged for me to meet the new SENCo and I believe the school are having DD assessed today. If she is deemed dyslexic on the back of the assessment then they will put all sorts of things in place to help (we will be having a meeting to discuss once they have the results, so as yet I don't know exactly what is on offer, but I know they have just got funding for a reading/writing scheme specifically designed for children with dyslexia).
I've been told that a separate Ed Psych referral won't be needed to access help, the school one should be sufficient.
I spoke to the Dyslexia Association over the summer and I understand that I am in a very unusual situation where I have the school telling me that they think DD is dyslexic and offering to do testing and get help. Very sad if this is the case. I have been told that before the age of 7, testing is a bit hit and miss as things that would stand out as markers later can be completely normal in younger children.
Just to give you some examples of what the school were picking up on:
- huge disparity between verbal abilities and written abilities - DD would relate a long complicated story using fairly sophisticated vocabulary orally but be capable of writing the equivalent of 'the cat sat on the mat'.
- only using very simple words when writing; spelling the same word multiple different ways in a single paragraph; odd use of capital letters - one will suddenly appear in the middle of a word with no reason behind it; using the right letters but in the wrong order e.g. lsat instead of last.
- with reading, she needs to see a word 50+ times before it's retained. Good at phonics but only when it is a standalone subject, she struggles to apply them to reading in a more general sense. She scored 100% on the phonics test but still struggles to remember them when she sees an actual word.
Fortunately she is very good at maths and performing arts, so we are able to deal with the 'I'm just stupid' comments to a degree, but they pick up on where they are in relation to their peers quite fast. I know DD sometimes picks out a reading book that is way beyond her because she wants to get one from the same box as her BFF.
The SENCo has promised to give me a list of useful resources and things like Spelling Apps that I can get to help DD, so I will pass those on if it would be helpful.
If you have a private assessment done, I believe the school have to act on it, but you may find that it's inconclusive at her age. An Ed Psych assessment here is around £750, so not something you want to have to pay for twice. You have to complete a form yourself and get the school to complete another one (it's fairly detailed), you then send them off and it takes around 4 weeks to get an appointment and then a further 2-3 weeks to get the report.
I believe it's very, very hard to get funding from the state for an Ed Psych assessment, but the school may have something along the lines of whatever my DD is doing today.
Have you asked to meet the school SENCo? They should be able to give you the school's SEN policy if nothing else.
Not sure if any of that is helpful, but I do feel for you. This time last year I was quite worried about why DD was so uninterested in reading and writing and probably unfairly had more than one chat with DD about concentrating and not chatting with friends etc. Hope you can get somewhere with the school.