DS, 6, behaving badly in his class assembly - advice welcome!

[ipanemagirl]

My 6 yr old ds acted up a lot in his class assembly last week. He is exuberant which is lovely but it turns easily into clowning for laughs and he had to be moved next to the teacher at one stage. I felt really ashamed of him. I love that he's confident but this playing to the gallery is out of order but he's harder to punish as he gets older or maybe I've just run out of ideas! I apologised to the teacher who just said he has to learn to be a team player and how to behave appropriately. Anyone else solved a problem like this?

(I posted this in 'behaviour' as well to reach more people)

Hi ipanemagirl, I am going through the same thing exactly myself and am really struggling. He seems to not listen to the teacher yet he is such a good kid at home, out at parties, etc.

I am going totally bananas and would to here how this can be resolved.

I have a 12 year old and a 6 year old (he was six last Sunday) who is in =
Primary 1. He is a very happy boy with nice manners and is polite to =
people he meets. He enjoys going to school and this has never been a =
problem for him. My husband works 3 on 3 off on the Rigs and although =
he misses his dad when he is away, we settle into a routine and this =
works out well and he knows he gets treats like the cinema and swimming =
every weekend that dad is away. =20

I cut down my hours and changed my job around so I could be able to pick =
him up from school every day and get quality time with his homework etc =
and feed him early so that my eldest could get home from school an hour =
and a quarter later and I could do the same with him (first year at the =
Academy) and this has worked out really well for all of us.

I picked him up from school on Friday to find out that his behaviour in =
class has been absolutely atrocious and that it was building up all week =
to the crescendo on Friday. He has been rowdy, loud and not doing as he =
was told. He was in absolute tears and was so upset as was I. The =
teacher also told me that he pulled down his trousers and pants in the =
playground but never said anything more. My son was so upset on Friday =
but he told me later on in the evening that this was because two girls =
were hitting him in the head in the playground and this was the only =
thing that made them go away. It worked!

I have spoken to him all this weekend to try and make him understand the =
seriousness of his behaviour but today his teacher was off so I went and =
spoke to the Head Teacher who held the class for the last half hour and =
she did not give me any feedback but told me that he was loud and quite =
unsettled in class for the short time she was there. I just dont know =
how much else I can tell him about his seriousness of his actions and =
what else I can do. My husband cannot do much from the Rig he is on and =
it is now left to me. I am seriously worried that I might be damaging =
him by explaining all the bad things that happen. Our motto is good =
boys get good things but bad boys get nothing. I have stopped all TV =
tonight and we did not get to make our snowman either. =20

My eldest came home from the academy worried about him too and sat him =
down and explained how important it is to be good in class. What are we =
doing wrong? Am I doing something wrong with how I am bringing him up? =

Do you know, I don't know? I have behaviour problems of different sorts with my boys.

Would some kind of personal target/motivational thingy work? If he's sensible in assembly, or other times of stress, he gets a sticker or Golden Time or something else.

Of course he does need to learn to behave, and I think this takes time and maturity. We still have to endure DS1 (8) hamming it up in assemblies and concerts.

Hi singersgirl, the problem this week is that his natural teacher has been off ill and he has had 3 teachers so far and he has came down with a cold today which I am so sorry to have passed it on. I said to him tonight that if he is good tomorrow at school he can play in the snow and that we will make snowmen and then he became worried and said he did not know if he would be able to be good for the whole day. What could I say? I just hope that maturity will bring on a different edge as I had not thought of that. Thanks for that, I shall keep that in mind. What are your problems with your boys? Could I give you any advice? Please just ask

Hi Amicissima, thanks for your words of wisdom and support, they are much appreciated.

His Teacher said today that he "is trying really hard" so that was a huge boost. Here is hoping it continues, but I am not too optimistic.

Any help is so greatly appreciated - thanx

thanks for advice too! We've started a behaviour chart at home which emphasises good behaviour and stars for extra effort - I'm also talking to the teacher to find out when he's been good - it seemed to work yesterday a bit.
My ds has also dropped his trousers quite a bit too.... very embarrassing!