Maths : feel sorry for these parents, can I do anything about this?

[SSShakeTheChi]

The background is:
Our maths teacher probably isn't great. My impression of her is that she looks like the painfully shy type. She looked a bundle of nerves at the first parents evening and seemed very defensive.

My dd says she spends a lot of time screaming in class. (For maths the class is divided into two groups but despite the smaller size, obviously dc are being loud or somehow disruptive if the teacher is screaming a lot). Dd doesn't seem to mind the teacher but hates the screaming, hates maths.

Dd absolutely didn't get the maths they were being taught (year 1). In the end I taught it to her myself so she's ok with it now. I teach her at home, she then goes over it again in school and we're on top of it. Ideally I'd prefer her to learn it well in school but that's the way of it. I assumed it was just dd who was having problems with it but apparently not.

Other parents have the same problem. Their dc don't understand what is going on in maths, they're totally lost. I think a) she has trouble controlling the class although the class teacher doesn't b) she can't explain maths very well if no one is getting it c) she's very defensive so difficult to approach

I'm also that this is happening in a church school. My main reason for sending her here was that I thought the tone at ordinary state schools was too harsh/rough.

I called the class teacher when dd had been there maybe a week because she was so unhappy with some of the things a couple of the boys (who she is now friends with) were saying about the girls (girls stink etc) that she didn't want to go to school. The class teacher was really lovely and explained her whole approach to dealing with interactions between the dc. She took a lot of time talking to me on what was essentially not a very important issue - and she dealt with it really well.

So that's one side of it but the dc are also learning from the way the teachers interact with them, aren't they?

FWIW, although it does you great credit to be concerned about the other boy and his parents, it is up to them to "effect a reconciliation" - they may appreciate your support but I think you should leave it to them to deal with the teacher on behalf of their ds.

And yes, the teacher's not a monster but she is upsetting the children and not teaching them v well. She may improve. V good to hear how lovely the class teacher was, maybe you should approach her about the maths.

Know what you mean about the tone, and secondary's going to be worse.

worse eh?

What's your impression of the Gesamtschule? Did you hear anything back after your tests?

Re the tone: am finding German parents are hugely snobby about which secondary school their dc go to and that the worst behaved/mannered & most aggressive of ds1 & ds2's friends are the ones from the wealthier, middle class parents so it's wide-spread, as someone in 400 BC said about "youth today"

Really liked the Gesamtschule teaching methods, overall approach to children and learning, their focus on social skills, their emphasis on individual development... I could go on. Confident, friendly children, even a friendly caretaker who saw us looking a bit unsure of where to go and came through the hordes to help us.

Sadly they're over-subscribed and are the only type of school (here anyway) which can select pupils. They split them up into 3 groups (Gymnasium, Real, Haupt) and as long as the marks are OK, it's then more or less random but they're obliged to take children living in the immediate area. We don't.

Plan B is up in the air. We got an initial diagnosis for ds1, visual perception impairment. It affects his writing, maths, concentration, and tbh haven't really digested or understood it all yet. I was always a bit reluctant to say he has dyslexia because he can read well (not a well as I'd expect from his verbal skills, IYSWIM) but I'm learning the whole thing is so complex. Right now we can take him to ergotherapy (?) and I'm off to Health to ask if anyone knows exactly what is is!

How 'bout you? Did you have a coffee with the other mum whose ds you were concerned about? So glad your dd's teacher sounds lovely, it makes such a difference. So sorry if I sounded bossy again, sometimes if I don't get the right tone in my posts. Must try harder

Good grief a friendly caretaker! No wonder the school is so popular . Do you get those Elternbriefe sent to you by post? these I never requested them but I've been sent them since dd was born. The most recent one was talking about dc at school and even has two paragraphs on what to do if your dc are scared of the caretaker so it must be a wide-spread phenomenon! Luckily ours is really nice.

Visual perception impairment does sound very vague. Hope he can be helped with it now they have a diagnosis.

Yes, I did meet up with the mum but I think for now she's content to leave things as they are. She often sees the maths teacher in the street, think they live near each other, but the teacher crosses the street to avoid her, she says. I find the situation odd but dd has reported there's been no screaming in class this week at least.

I can be quite harsh on people and come down on them like a ton of bricks (in particular if dd is involved) but my gut feeling in this case is that the maths teacher is not a bad 'un. I'll see what comes up in the Elternabend next week.

Everyone going wild with Fasching your end? We're very subdued about it in Berlin I've been told. I never quite get the humour on those TV carnival programmes, do you?

Oh, just seen your carnival thread now!