walking home from school - what age, and can school stop it?

[BerylStreep]

My DS is 9 years old. The school he goes to is set in large grounds, and we live right beside the grounds. It is a 700m walk through school paths, and a further 150 metres to our house along from the school entrance. There is one road to cross, which is marked with school markings, dropped kerb etc.

DD is 11 years old, and already walks home from school - it is about 1.5kms for her. She is able to meet DS and walk through the rest of the way with him. Both are mature responsible children.

So DS's school are being a bit funny about it. They both walked home last week without incident, but I was told it was a one off, and if I wanted him to be able to do it on a regular basis I was told I would have to seek permission from the head teacher to enable DS to walk home from school. I called to make an appointment with the head, and she is unavailable this week. I gave all the details to the school secretary, and told her that I would be happy to sign something absolving school of responsibility.

I have an appointment tomorrow which means I will be unable to collect DS from school. Head hasn't yet come back to me, and I called in to speak to the secretary who told me she had passed the message on, but that the head wasn't keen on it, and had to make some further enquiries to see if he could do it.

She is aware of the intention for him to walk home, accompanied by DD tomorrow.

So, is 9 too young, especially given the proximity of our house to school?

Is it a decision for the head to make, or me, as the parent?

Is it normal for schools t be iffy about this?

My kids' primary had children being collected by older siblings from Year 3. And the older sibling was in Year 6!

My youngest walked home on his own from Year 4, although he was collected from after school clubs when it was dark.

Good independence training.

Blimey

Just for comparison, our school discourages (but does not see it as its place to forbid) children walking home from school alone before Year 5/6 (so age 9-11). Parents have to send a note giving school permission to release their child without a parent present. But 11 year old children at secondary school collect siblings from reception and up.

In your position I would send a note tomorrow and call to speak to head/hope to catch them in the morning.

DC routinely walk home from Y5 (which I assume your DC is) here. And for longer distances/more complicated routes. The children are just let out at the end of the day, so no one would have a clue how they were getting home anyway!

Is the back entrance at the school used by lots of other people? Or are they concerned that he will go round there, not actually leave, no one will see this and something will happen on school grounds for which they would be found liable?

FWIW, DS is in Yr 6 equivalent, and has been walking to and from school on his own for a year - very standard here (US)

I thought the same as AK, they might have misunderstood your DD's role.

Is it possible that they believe they are responsible for DS on school property until he has been handed over to an appropriate adult? So hypothetically the stretch of public pavement is fine, but the school grounds aren't. As a PP said, your DS would effectively be unsupervised on school property. I don't think they should say no, but I can see why they want to make sure they are covered.

Where I live, all kids move to middle school at the end of year 4 and the vast majority walk to and from around a mile. Therefore many kids walk home from lower school in year 4. I did this in the 1970s. My older kids did this from 2004. My little one will do it later this year.

Its p3 at our school so 6/7. We live two houses away from the school, our neighbours dd wanted to come home herself last year, school office said it was fine, class teacher refused.

Both my sons, currently Y7 and Y5, have walked home alone for the last year, they are both mature and sensible and well aware of what to do if they are unsure of a situation, the school was initially shock horror no we will not allow this, I sent a letter stating anything that happens is my responsibility and unless your school budget runs to paying for both sets of after school care, this is what will be happening, headmaster did a quick about turn!!!

What can they actually do to stop you though?
At my one of my son's primary schools up to year 7 the form teachers would only let the kids leave the school once a parent or authorised person had collected them from their classroom.

At my one of my son's primary schools up to year 7 the form teachers would only let the kids leave the school once a parent or authorised person had collected them from their classroom.

And if the parent had specifically requested that their DC be permitted to leave, the school could not prevent them from doing so.
They could call the police if it were an emergency (very young DC, for instance), refer to SocServ if they had concerns but they CANNOT legally "keep" a child in their care against the wishes of a parent. That would be considered unlawful harbouring.

My ds just started yr5 and is walking home, lets himself in the house and is on his own for 45min before I come home from work. He's responsible, calls me as soon as he's home and I'm only 10min away. We practised at the end of yr 4 with me being at home.
Other dc is desperate to do it too but only 8 so will have to wait another year.
I had to fill out a slip in school to let them know he's walking by himself. A few of his classmates did this in yr4 already, no raised eyebrows at all.
I told him anytime he's not happy anymore to let me know and he'll go back into after school club.
Don't know why this country is so up in arms about giving children independence.

No school is a prison, they do NOT have the authority to prevent a child from leaving if they have the parents'/guardians' permission to let them go.

Our school children are allowed with parental permission from Yr 4. A parent last year told her Yr3 son he could go home but forgot didn't bother to tell staff. I refused and after unanswered phone calls walked him home. He had a major road to cross (traffic lights) and three others and a cut to walk through. Hmm. Personally I thought he was too young but we can't stop it if mum wants to risk it. He isn't the most sensible child. Head thought the same but said there was nothing we could do.

At DS's junior school (Yr3-6) they just open the doors and out they go.

We were told when he started they expect parents to decide when their child is old enough to walk on their own.

It's a very no nonsense school that treats parents like grown ups who can make their own decisions. I like it.

And if the parent had specifically requested that their DC be permitted to leave, the school could not prevent them from doing so
Whilst that is true I suspect that as you mentioned in your post if parents were to insist that a child was allowed to walk home alone against advice then SS would be informed.

SS wouldn't be remotely interested in a child of 9 walking home alone. There is no law against it and they certainly wouldn't deem it a child protection issue. It is so important that parents push back against school craziness on this.

Sense has prevailed. The Head phoned me (poor woman, still in work at 8pm).

She is happy for DS to walk home provided I have assessed it as being safe, and am confident that he is capable of recognising and responding to danger. She also suggested reflective clothing when it starts to get dark, which I hadn't thought of.

Just goes to show that direct communication is always best. Thanks for all your views.

OP, I'm glad your school have been reasonable!

I've just posted on another thread s put the run in I had when my DS was in y4/5 and his school told me either I would have to get a childminder or collect him myself. They would allow him to be collected by his older brother only if I could guarantee he wouldn't be late ((this was impossible as Ds1s school was a 19 minute walk away and he finished 20 mins before DS2, so if his class got let out even slightly late he'd be late for collection). The alternative was they would report me to SS for neglect.

Bloody glad to hear not all schools are such arses.

Sorry, that should have said the run in I had with DSs school, when I wanted him to walk part of the way home on his own.

Absolutely ridiculous. Your child, your decision. The school doesn't own the children.

Huzzah for common sense prevailing

Our year 4 are allowed to leave school by themselves , or with a sibling, if we have written permission from a parent/carer.
Year 5 and 6 are allowed to leave without written permission.
Year 3 are still expected to be met by someone.

Angiepoise

But, they are responsible for making sure that they are dismissed safely. It's all part of safeguarding.
If some of our parents had their way, 4 and 5 year olds would be walking out of school on their own...

But, they are responsible for making sure that they are dismissed safely. It's all part of safeguarding.
If some of our parents had their way, 4 and 5 year olds would be walking out of school on their own

I've just has this discussion on another thread. It is not the schools responsibility to make that judgement and act on it.

If the school have safeguarding concerns about a DC, then they should follow the appropriate procedures - refer to Ch Serv or call the police if they believe the child is at risk of immediate, serious harm.

Schools who choose to take on this type of responsibility in a misguided belief that they are best placed to keep the DCs safe are overstepping their role.