Is this normal for primary?

[Kisathecat]

My son started primary this week and yesterday he said his teacher is a bit mean. When I asked him why he said she shouted at the kids including him, pushed him into his seat shouting "sit! Sit! Sit!" And wouldn't allow him a toilet break.

Remember that children's version of what happened at school is often a highly impressionistic account that differs radically from reality. So simply being told to sit down can become shouted at and pushed.

I would have a word with the teacher just along the lines of 'how is he settling in?" 'How I'd his behaviour?" No accusations. I think you will find his version and her version are slightly different. Is he in Nursery or Reception? In most schools these classes have free access to the toilets in our school the toilets are within the classroom. So there is no asking for permission to go required.

Go in and tell her "I think DS must be confused about the rules around toilets because he seems to think he's not allowed to go"

And wait for her response. As for the sit, sit sit thing....some teachers are brusquer than children are used to. Having said that, if he complains repeatedly about shouting then organise a meeting with her.

I agree with VioletBam's approach. The toilet thing might have been that they were all mucking about in there so she made them go separately.

Agree with violet, ask in a kind of non accusing / dumb way.

Teacher shouting = Talking with firm voice or louder voice addressing whole class?
Toilet not allowed = misunderstanding?
My ds wet himself at lunch time when he just started school. They were told not to walk around etc. He simply thought he had to sit still until he finished eating.
Of course they were allowed to go to the toilet.

At our school they have to ask to go to the loo and go one at a time. This is to stop riots in the toilets....

Tell your ds to sit down the first time he is told to. Then there is no need for "sit, sit, sit" Ask the teacher to clarify the rules for going to the toilet as your ds seems confused. In reception ours could go at any time - except for 5 min morning and afternoon during registration.

A mean teacher would be a worry, a strict one not so much. And this first few weeks is a period of rapid adjustment for little children. Learning to listen, sit when asked, line up, put their hand up to speak, wait their turn. All new skills in a class of 25.

Oh yes, sorry. Kids didn't need to ask to go to loo but no m,ore than 2 of either sex could go at once. They had bands hung up on the door that they had to take to regulate this.

That's quite common and reasonable tbh. It stops parties in the toilets and endless asking the teacher if they can go. If he's desperate, he should tell the teacher/TA and they will use their judgment - they are unlikely to want to clean anyone up.

And the toilet thing might also be that the teacher was explaining something vital and wanted him to wait 2 minutes until she'd finished ...

There is massive emphasis in reception on sitting and listening and not fighting, wandering around etc etc. "Super sitting" is rewarded with lots of praise, being first out at playtime etc. So expect lots of focus on it. Also there will be rules about toilet, ask for clarification as to what they are if you aren't sure. Normally max number of kids in toilet at any one time.

I just said to the teacher that he'd been spending a long time on the loo when he got home and she told me he didn't have any problems asking to go or anything, in fact he had asked 'quite frequently'. And to be honest I think I'd be shouting sit! after a couple of days of trying to get my son to do it...😊 Thanks so much for all your responses they were really helpful I was having a omg what do I do moment