I don't want my daughter to go to school

[PirateFairy45]

My anxiety is building daily because my DD has to go to school next year. NEXT YEAR.

She's too young and immature and needs her mummy to be able to go to school. I'm not ready to be away from her. She'll only be 4.5yo. Can we hold off... For 4-5 decades?

And no I'm not serious... Sort of.

How can I start getting us ready for school? She'll be fine I'm sure. Except from her speech that we are working on daily. But I'm worried sick!

It is such a joy seeing them settling and thriving at school, seeing their face when they get a star, or move up a reading level or make a new friend. I find it hard that mine are growing up, but those are my feelings and I have to separate them from my DCs need to learn and grow.

Every child is ready for school at a different time. Depends on the needs of a child. The parent can see. Children have their own pace. Some can start earlier and others later. Look at the Home education board. There is a lot of experience there. As children change parents find that sometimes they start as HE and continue with formal school and also the other way round.

Experiences vary a lot and each family will tell so. My DS started as HE and had been to enrolled in a Conservatoire, he had a very busy week with others in music, he did also academic subjects. He had a offer from a top university and now finished his degree.

My DS starts school this week. He is 4 + 4 weeks, and still very 'babyfaced' so he looks so tiny in his new uniform. I struggled to get trousers small enough to fit him!

I was really worried a year ago about him starting school so young, but now I can see that he is as 'ready' as my elder DS was, and he was almost 5 when he started. Yes, it may take him a bit longer to get the hang of the academic stuff, but he's very sociable, loves learning about everything and anything, and most of all he can't wait!

Every day for the last few weeks he has got out of bed and asked, 'Am I going to school today?' as he has also done whenever I've asked him to get his shoes on to go out. He is looking forward to going to the same school as his big brother so much, he is about to burst just thinking about it, bless him! Of course, the novelty may wear off when he realises he has to go for the next 14+ years...

Your DD will develop so much over the next year. Teachers are very aware and experienced in dealing with the younger pupils - she will be fine as long as your anxiety doesn't filter down to her.

Would it help to calm yourself if you keep hold of the idea that you will always have the choice to send your daughter or not send her? Whatever seems likely to be right for her, it will not be a disaster if you change your mind during the coming months.

It will not even be a disaster if you try school and then decide your daughter isn't ready after all, or delay school and then decide you want her to go after all.

Perhaps you'd benefit from visiting the school a few times this year so you can continue to mull over the question of how well she'd thrive there. You could also go along to a local home ed group and talk to other parents to see how that has been for them and think about whether you feel that approach would suit her better.

It will be okay. You don't have to have it all figured out this minute. You don't even have to have it all figured out next September. Like all parenting challenges, you try something and if it isn't working you try something different. Look to your child and see whether she is happy. You have years of experience of doing this under your belt already.

I asked her if she wanted to go to big school and she just looked at me and went to her bedroom and grabbed her nursery uniform and said 'go to school now mummy?'

I think she'll be ready.

:) my daughter tries her uniform on anytime someone comes round :)

Children can start school a term after their 3rd birthday here in Wales. They really are dinky then but a vast majority of them just throw themselves into it and love it.

The term after their 3rd birthday???? That's just s baby!!

Full time school? Isn't it nursery/preschool then? Wales is play based longer than us isn't it?

(eeek I was envying Scotland being able to start at 5.5. Can't imagine sending them off to school all day/uniforms/teachers at 3! I purposely chose a preschool as there are a lot more staff due to higher ratio than a school nursery with just a teacher and ta but even then that's just mornings or afternoons and not common in this area!)

It is Nursery but these are within a primary school. Most schools include the Nursery children in whole school activities such as plays and special assemblies so it's less daunting when they move to Reception. They do their PE lessons in the hall, for example.

In most LEAs they can go full time the term after their 4th birthday - they don't have to wait until the following September.