A mum just told me yr 5 sex ed is explicit and she was gutted

[PartyFants]

Title says it all, her dc is going into year 6, mine is going into year 5. Different schools though, if it matters. She warned me to check the sex ed material before they learn it as she was gutted when she heard how explicit it was, apparently many parents complained.

I'm not a prude, I'm happy for them to learn age appropriate stuff, eggs, sperm, erections, wet dreams etc but he's not a streetwise kid, he's so innocent and sweet I don't like the thought of him having to learn about extra bits like for example oral sex (or whatever she meant by explicit, we didn't discuss specifics) I've only just got him to stop drinking the bath water "because there's bottom germs in there"

I'm a bit spooked, anyone with a year 6 or above child who can give me their experience with the module, please?

[user1467976192]

When I was in school parents were invited to an evening to discuss what the ciriculum was regarding sex education, was a bit motifying watching the videos knowing my mum had seen it first

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

My daughter is 9 going into Yr5 and she already knows about sex etc. I told her because she was asking questions.

Just tell him yourself what you want him to know, and if it bothers you that much withdraw him from that particular lesson.

Can't see the problem personally, I'd rather they know the facts than the fiction on the school yard!

[PartyFants]

Oh Jen, I don't know why you're targeting me, and picking apart the words I use. Forgive me for not responding any more but it's been a long day, I'm very tired, and I came here for information, not a debate. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just not up for discussing it. Too tired. Sorry.

[JenLindley]

I'm not targeting you, you're the OP of the thread!! You started the thread. Anyway, I hope for your son's sake you can set your own issues aside and help him access this information.

[Shannaratiger]

I would much rather the school explains the real meaning of the language that Ds and his mates come out with. I don't remember Dd mentioning that they had learnt much more than the basics that I discussed with her.

[PartyFants]

AliceInUnderpants thanks for the book suggestion, I'm glad your daughter was ok. I'm sure my son will be fine, but you worry anyway! Everything's a worry, with him.

I've bought a book about body changes for him and a book called mummy laid an egg which may either be spot on age appropriate or a bit young. That's deliberate though as I have younger kids too who he will discuss it with, and they will probably read it too.

[PartyFants]

Ok, thanks Jen.

[LikeDylanInTheMovies]

I'm sure we didn't learn about oral sex in primary, it was just periods, conception, did, wet dreams. It's all obviously changed so much. Deep breath!

And they just showed us a Betamax cassette of two rabbits screwing and a bad line drawing of genitals and it was utterly useless.

To echo previous posters, imagine a 'sweet and innocent' (read: kept ignorant) child like yours is targeted by a sex offender and(s) he has no real understanding that fellatio is a sexual act. How easy would it be for them to convince him or her that 'it isn't rude or naughty, it is just like sucking a lollipop' If they conceive of sex solely in terms of PiV?

Knowledge of sex is not shameful or dirty and learning about it in doesn't make them contaminated or sullied by the world. It says a lot more about you, than it does about the sex education classes.

[BertrandRussell]

Mummy Laid an Egg is wildly age inappropriate for a 9 year old!

[JenLindley]

Knowledge is power. Particularly useful when it comes to your own body!

[PartyFants]

Is it? It hasn't arrived yet, it's at the post office waiting for me. Grrr (I was in, postman!)

[madgingermunchkin]

It's better that they learn the facts in a classroom than myths from other kids.

I started my periods at (just!) 11 years old. We hadn't even had any form of body/sex/puberty talks by then, and my mother was very much a "we don't talk about those things".

If I recall rightly, they start learning age appropriate stuff from the age of 5 in Scandinavian countries, and they have some of the lowest teen birth rates. Sometimes we're really are too stereotypically "uptight prudish Brits" about these things.

[heknowsmysinsheseesmysoul]

I first heard about oral sex aged 10 in the pre- Internet days of a fee - paying prep school.

It was all terribly wrong though - I was told you did it till the other person started bleeding and that was how you knew you were doing it correctly!.

I don't think year 6 is too early to be taught about aspects of sexual behaviour; particularly in this day and age with huge amounts of pornography available at the click of a button on - line on any tablet or smart 'phone.

[PartyFants]

LikeDylan I specifically said I /wouldn't/ think he was sullied if he learned. I agree with your point about grooming though, my son is totally naive.

[PterodactylToenails]

My daughter was shown a video about clitoris stimulation at aged 7 during sex ed at school. I pulled her out the following year because it discussed wet dreams and showed a woman on top of a man (in cartoon style) having sex. ....I didn't feel she could emotionally cope with this at aged 8. Knowledge is power but frankly at aged 7 and 8 I think ignorance is bliss...for a while!

[jennielou75]

I do sex ed with my 7 year olds. We just name body parts including penis vagina and testicles. We are very clear with the children that they need to know the correct names so they can tell someone if they get hurt. I don't enjoy these lessons but I know they are important. If you approach it in a scientific then PHSE manner the children do get it. We all do it in the summer term in the same week so you do get to hear lots of vocabulary being shouted out of classrooms that you wouldn't normally!

[Jenijena]

Not on that stage yet, but trying to answer four year old's questions with appropriate answers. Seems to bore him.

I have no idea of the content of our sex we at school. But I distinctly remember coming out of it with a friend and into he playground and loudly giggling that... Margaret Thatcher has had sex.

[Haffdonga]

Would you prefer for him to hear about masturbation, oral sex etc from

A) other kids in the playground?
B) Porn on the internet?
C) a teacher at school?
D) yourself?

If the answer is not A or B then you need to either start talking to him or let the school start the conversation.

Sorry, but by year 6 those subjects are discussed fully but with many misconceptions by children in the playground. However un-streetwise your ds is, there will be others he knows who aren't so innocent and who will be talking.

[megletthesecond]

Mummy laid an egg is more appropriate for infant school kids I'm afraid.

I'm glad school cover sex ed in more detail these days. I think I'm doing a reasonable job telling mine but do worry I'll forget something.

[Anchovies12]

How did i begin? is good for an introduction, still very basic but good to start off a discussion.

[BertrandRussell]

There is a huge amount of bollocks talked about the "explicit" content in primary school sex education.

[BertrandRussell]

"My daughter was shown a video about clitoris stimulation at aged 7 during sex ed at school."

Really? I find that incredibly hard to believe.

[midcenturymodern]

I'm surprised it varies much from school to school. Ours is also a Catholic primary and we had the woman on top video, oral, porn and wet dreams etc as well as lgbt relationships and sex outside marriage. Deputy head is a lesbian so maybe that makes a difference to remembering to include lgbt relationships.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I have the Usbourne books 'What's happening to me' boys and girls versions to give DCs when they are old enough. I will give DS his sometime in year 4. It's a brilliant book (I've read it first) and I see no problem with children learning this information early on.

My friends from school were all pretty shocked when I told DCs how babies are made in age appropriate terms whilst they were 4 and 7. Oldest asked, I answered, didn't really think about the fact the 4 year old was there but neither were phased at all. Not sure if the 4 year old was listening tbh but the 7 year old took it very matter of factly. None of the other children in his friendship group knew but I don't see why they shouldn't know these things.

I don't want them coming from how I was brought up when these things were just never ever talked about and I would never have been able ask any questions. When I was 15 I was reading J17 and it said sex on the front and I was severely told off for that and how I shouldn't be reading things like that .