Private school vs 'hippy*' cheaper school from reception

[mrstina]

*used to convey meaning on a public forum rather than any form of disrespect, I consider myself to have some of these elements in certain aspects of my life

OK, we are unsure of what to do with our child's (now 2 1/2) education from next year.

The options are as above, but if the latter option to move him to that private school prior to 11+, as we have good selective state schools here. Obviously I understand all children are different, not all private schools are good etc. etc.

Is the education at reception really education, or just fun playtime which could be done equally well at the 'hippy' school? Will moving schools be problematic (I moved school aged 7 and it didn't affect me at all).

i.e. is it worth spending lots of money for a prolonged playtime, or does structured stuff give long term benefits?

I'm happy to name schools if allowed and no threat of retaliation etc.

Many thanks for any advice.

ParadiseCity, what's wrong with like minded parents?
My ds goes to state, so it's difficult to find like minded parents or even a teacher. Being too advanced or wanting to advance way ahead seems to be a no-no in my ds's state school.

If you can afford it, there is no question, to choose private prep, OP.
You know what you want for your child, choosing hippy school only because it's cheaper than prep seems like waste of money.
Also someone mentioned children's neural pathway is fixed by age 7.
Well, I read somewhere(long time ago) in two different languages, that it's fixed by age 5.
So you have lots to do to stimulate your dc's brain this year before dc turns 5!

Mybugslife, I don't think OP is racist. She just doesn't know what it's like.
In my ds's 95+% white British state school, all the high performers are not white children.

*I had considered the language issue was a marker of migrants from poorer backgrounds
*
What's so wrong with that? Oh no my child will have to mix with other children from other backgrounds, instead of just snobby people like me.
There's nothing different about anyone from any other nationality, or financial situation.

The fact that the OP wants to send her kid to private school or whatever is up to the OP and I couldn't really care what she does but the fact that one of the reasons behind not choosing state schools was because of migrant, poorer children is disgusting! You're no better than any one of those children soap

Autocorrect- soap? Haha. I meant OP

I read it as in she doesn't want to send her dc in to state school because she doesn't want them to mix with any children(including English/British) who are poorer than her...hence I didn't sense racism.

OP is completely racist. He doesn't want to mix with poor, or non academic, children or parents. Or the wrong sort of forriners. You know, the stupid lazy ones.

Newsflash. You can be poor AND academic at the same time. You can be thick as pigshit and on the bones of your arse but a thoroughly nice person to spend time with. Also, you can be an academic parent with a child who stands not a hope in hell of passing the 11+.

The racism part was aimed at the migrants comment, but yes the poorer people comment just makes the OP a bit of a twat!

The op lost me with their last post about education pseudoscience.... Education is a science, it's called pedagogy and its rather bloody important!

op you are coming over a tad Hyacinth Bucket.

I suspect that what the OP actually wants to avoid is not ethnic minorities or poor children, but her DC being in a class of children who have low educational aspirations (or whose parents do) and who don't want to do any work, and to avoid her DC going to any school which fosters those attitudes.

OP has said her child is being brought up bilingual, so I would assume either her or her DH or their parents are migrants. So I imagine it's fairly unlikely she has an objection to migrants per se. I do think she may be mistaken in thinking that those with the poorest educational outcomes are ethnic minority groups - I think it's pretty well established that these groups actually do very well and that the most poorly performing group is white British boys.

Also, it's a bit of a myth that Independant schools are full of white British kids - i think I read that State schools have 29% ethnic minorities but Independant Schools Council schools have 25%. So hardly any difference anyway, countrywide.

But even just the fact that she assumes that parents - like myself - who's children go to state schools have low academic aspirations for their child, or indeed the children do for themselves. I find that extremely judgmental! There are many many children that have done better in a state school than many children in private school and in my experience it's the minority of children and parents who ''don't care''. I honestly couldn't name one parent in my DDs class that doesn't care about their child's academic career and doesn't want them to do well

I don't think she did assume that. Though maybe she can tell us herself. I agree it's unreasonable to assume that state school parents and pupils will have lower aspirations, but I also think it's reasonable to think that paying for education will probably filter out many who do.

Also, I DO think it's reasonable to assume that a State school might have lower aspirations overall, because they are bound by the National Curriculum. At our totally non selective Prep the average children achieved 115, not 100 (standardised scores) because the whole year group except the bottom sets are taught ahead of the NC. I think most Prep schools would be similar, whereas state schools AFAIK by law cannot do this.

I just realised OP's dc is only 2 1/2.
So if you want academic success, it does matter what sort of nursery/pre-school you send your kids.
My ds's nursery was fab, manager done 1-1 session on maths and reading as soon as she realised he was very able. I didn't know at the time what they were doing, but when I got all his books, he was doing times tables, division etc. And brought home books from attached school to read at home.
I know it's a extreme pushiness overkill, but my ds enjoyed it.

OP

Do any of the Prep schools you're considering have breakfast clubs and after school activities which would enable you to take DC to school yourself and bypass the childcare costs? Also, if places as these schools are sought after / somewhat selective then could you use the attached nurseries to make it easier to get in to the Reception?

On affordability: the real unaffordability/difficulties would come with private secondary without a scholarship. Hence the push with primary education.

Scholarships usually give 5% or 10% fee remission. Perhaps you mean a Bursary which is means tested?

And like I said/implied, I don't think there's much in it academically between a school like Wilson's or somewhere like Kings College Wimbledon.

Yes, I don't think people choose famous Public schools purely on academics!

Fairly sure OP is a man(splainer) btw.

I must waste some of my time addressing the strawman/ad hominem fallacies etc. that have been perpetuated here (I really wanted to ignore them, but give a dog a bone etc.):

It's great to see the virtue signalling, and what virtues so many have to signal.

What you have failed to do is to actually make a substantive point, because it is far more difficult.

So, for instance, I have some worries that a child in a 'free' school who doesn't speak English as a primary language in a school where 1 in 3 don't may mean that the state teachers have to spend more time and effort bringing these children up to a basic level so they can converse in the language of educational instruction, which will mean taking time away from children who do speak the language. And of course when it comes to the government assessments, who's going to get more attention? The pupil who's going to fail the school or the one who isn't?

Nothing in that post can be described as racist and in my opinion those that do so cannot understand what racism is.

I acknowledge the point about the white working class and believe this to be a very good point.

What I do find amusing is the illusion of choice that many of you seem to feel you have and the resentful way you are prepared to 'attack' (albeit with wet paper bags) those who believe otherwise.

At NIP:

A good grammar would mix it with the private school, in my opinion, non-academically. However, sports and so on, if interested, could be done on a club level.

Just to reiterate to you MrsTina: the point being made by posters about children who don't have English as a primary language is:

You are incorrect in your assumption that these children need to be taught English by the school and that somehow your child would suffer because of it. Most children who don't have English as a primary language are still broadly functionally fluent in English, they just have additional languages as their primary language.

Actually, there's lots of incorrect assumptions in other points you've made and I've just realised I can't be bothered to go through them. Sorry!

I think you should just pick a school which feels right to you. It doesn't matter really if you are correct or incorrect in your prejudices.

The neural pathways stuff is exactly what I wanted to know about. Is this definite, is their scientific research (proven versus observational) on this? Are there journal references?

giogke journal articles then about neural pathways?

Your academic posting style and jargon heavy language I suppose it to highlight your superior intelligence? Arrogance would be more accurate.

My encounter with importance of early neural pathway development was from a book my friend gave me. It came with suggestion for activity and some printed material you can use. (I think it was black and white geometrical pictures and huge words flashcard that you show to the baby when saying words like "MUM", "DAD". It was either Canadian or American It wasn't anything OTT, just suggesting something you can do with a child(aimed at 0 to3). And it had reference from studies.
I can't remember the name of the book, I gave it to a charity shop long ago.
Other one I came across was on my native country's parental forum. They claim you can actually influence child's IQ, if you do it right, up to even 180~190, which I was a bit sceptical.

Those were nearly a decade ago(He is 8 now), but if you google neural pathway development, lots of articles come up. Believe it or not, is up to you.

I used some of ideas from the book, and my ds certainly showed interest in letters and numbers from early age, but I'm not sure if it's because of the book, or he was just hyperlexic. He did turned out to be gifted in some areas, but he has mild traits of ASD/ADHD.

Thank you for your time.

I had googled and google scholared and pubmeded for articles but found nothing specific besides lots of opinion pieces on children with educational special needs and children from disadvantaged backgrounds.

I was keen to ascertain whether there was something quantifiable, testable and reproducible (i.e. how I wound define 'scientific') that perhaps you had found. As I mentioned previously, I have doubts about the scientific validity of 'educationalists'.

MrsTina I am amazed that all you found were opinion pieces. I think you are probably using the wrong search terms or parameters.

Also, if it's neural and developmental stuff you're after, you need to look a bit wider than whatever it is you mean by "educationalists".

No offence intended!

I think you might be better off home schooling. If you have such doubts in educationalists it is probably best not to hand your little one over to anywhere where they might not turn them into a genius and stay home and do it yourself. That way everyone is spared.

Ad hominem fallacies/strawmen fallacies/insults/lack of ability to respond coherently and rationally - what virtues so many have on here to signal!

I must bring my son up in the way you've been brought up to reflect these superior attributes, the egalitarianism your parents believed in worked wonders for you!

Ah no. We just all recognise that you and you alone know the truth and are clever / academic enough to be able to educate your child. The professionals know nothing. How can anyone else ensure your child reaches their full potential?