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What would you do?

6 replies

boobum · 25/01/2007 12:39

If your child had been told off for something she hadn't done at school. Not a major telling off but in front of the whole class. Was accused of something by another child and was only allowed to answer yes or no (she said no) as to whether she did it or not. No opportunity to speak.

Hate these bloody type of things because I'm the sort of person who hates having to speak out and possibly be viewed as causing a fuss but at the same time I teach my daughter that a telling off is most certainly warranted if wrong has been done but not otherwise.

Sorry this is rushed but I'm upset about the situation and could really do with some advice. If I don't post quickly I know I won't do it.

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 25/01/2007 12:46

can you be 100% she didn't do it?

i would have a word with the teacher.

ratclare · 25/01/2007 17:14

this is a tough one isnt it, tbh i would explain to your daughter that sometimes teachers do get things wrong and it probably wont be the last time she gets told off for something she hasnt done ,but remind her there will probably be lots of times she gets away scot free for things she has done!if she is really really upset though i would have a quick chat with the teacher and explain on this occasion you genuinley believe your daughter is telling the truth

boobum · 25/01/2007 19:10

Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:
exbury · 25/01/2007 20:09

Hmm - we had this with DS at nursery. He was adamant he hadn't done whatever it was, and caused himself no end of trouble by refusing to apologise because he hadn't done it - but the nursery rule was that he had to stay on the time-out chair until he was 40 mins, and then only with my intervention, before he muttered "sorry" and we could go home!

We ended up telling him that sometimes it is easier to apologise even if you hadn't done it. Not sure if that was the right thing to do, but the most important thing for him seemed to be that Mummy and Daddy believed him when he said he didn't do it. I didn't take it up with nursery in the end as it seemed like it would prolong the agony for DS.

Hillary · 25/01/2007 20:18

Being told off in front of the whole class is terrible, to not be allowed to answer for herself or put her side to the story is wrong. I would most certainly be up that school, How dare they!

boobum · 27/01/2007 09:29

Thanks for all your replies. It really helps to get other views when you feel upset and everything gets muddled in your head!

There was more to this situation but I didn't want to post in detail for fear of being recognised and making more of an issue out of it. You never know who's out there!!

Anyway, I did explain to my daughter about mistakes being made by teachers etc. This is part of life after all but I think she found it hard to get her head round the fact that she was disbelieved over another child. She was very upset in class which I think stemmed from the fact that she didn't get to give her point of view and was told off despite answering 'no' as to whether she did do what she was accused of. It was then a case of 'right, we'll have no more said on the matter, everyone get their work books out'.

Well, I did speak to the teacher. I said that I believed my daugter but I just got the feeling that the teacher thought I was doing the old my child can do no wrong routine. I do find this upsetting and frustrating as my daughter is very well behaved and kind (bit of a chatterbox though!)and knows that if she does something wrong (the worse she ever does is chatting during listening time - not terrible, eh)then yes she should be told off and I totally agree with this.

I've calmed down now but still find it hard to get my head round situations like this that just totally confuse our children and undermine what we teach them. Rant over!

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