Schools with no uniform (and no rules....) [grin]

[Chopstick090404]

hello ...
I have a 12 yr old DS who has been home-schooled since he was 9 ½ due to chronic anxiety because of school phobia (i.e. not school refusal!)..... We have ever since been desperately looking for a relaxed school with no uniform in the South East, (we're based in Surrey on the borders of Kent & West/East Sussex). DS has some small sensory processing issues which are tactile related hence the problems with wearing a school uniform. Otherwise, he is a bright and and very capable young person so a special needs school potentially wouldn't be suitable. Mainstream schools have routinely been equally unsuitable because of their rigid rules and overly formal approach although to be fair we have exclusively only attended schools in the private sector; a state school would now be impossible at secondary level because of the sheer weight & volume in the number of pupils likely to be on roll which clearly wouldn't work well with anxiety issues. We have been on an incredibly painful and difficult journey throughout all of this and the resulting chronic school phobia is heartbreaking while DS is such a super sociable, clever, kind, giving and funny boy who deserves more. We have some wonderfully brilliant tutors helping us with our home education but would love to be able to give DS the opportunity to consider school again without fear but it will have to be somewhere that really 'cares' (is there such a place?).... i..e. somewhere that is able to see the bigger picture and that can truthfully extend a positive and thoughtful pathway back into education without the curse and unnecessary obstructions of petty why's and wherefore's....

Sorry to sound so cynical but we really have been on an incredibly punishing and useless journey.
Does anyone know AnYwHeRe????..........

Have you thought about the Dharma school in brighton? Meets a lot of the criteria you are looking for.

Sorry I've just realised it's only primary and your DS is older. But they may have recommendations for secondaries their pupils move on to.

I wonder if it might be worth relaxing the uniform requirement for now - the best school for him might be one that has uniform but could work with you on it. Eg if a polo shirt and trackky bottoms would be manageable, that should be pretty easy to accommodate, and the right school might relax the rules more than that for him. Very soft jersey school trousers are also getting more widespread - more commonly in the girls' section IME.

State schools can be much more relaxed than private ones about clothing generally. I grew up mainly in private schools whereas my children are at state school, and I love the way we have so much flex on their clothes - everything can be 100% cotton if I want, they can have elasticated waists and whatever dress shape they like. So different to enforced ties, 60% polyester shirts and boaters I had! I get your point that classes of 30 might be too much for him and that's fair enough, but I do wonder if the uniform thing can be worked around which would give you a lot more options.

I was going to suggest New Forest Small School! It is in such a beautiful area - you would be in the middle of the New Forest, yet with the facilities of Poole and Bournemouth and Southampton to hand. Make the move, we never regretted it.

The london acorn school?

I'm at st Chris old scholar. Op you should check it out it meets your criteria. I don't know what it's like now - I'm 36! But when I was there it was able to absorb children with quite complicated needs very gently. It's very inclusive as a community too. It's a democratic school. This means it's self governed. I cherish my time there.