Parent-helping in DS2's reception class - the scariest thing I've ever done?

[Gameboy]

OK, so I exaggerate, but after working full time for 20 years and now not, I was soooooo looking forward to this year and helping in DS2's class.

Went yesterday, and pretty much hated it! I guess I felt so out of my comfort zone....

• first did some cutting up materials (on my own) for some art/ craft sessions, and that was fine

• then was asked to play a 'word game' with 4 kids at a time, and it was horrendous!:
• one girl kept sticking her tongue out and pinching another (so I moved her around the table)
• one kept wingeing, "I don't want to play this, it's boring"
• one got up and wandered away
• one boy started making fun of my name
• none of the kids seemed to know any of the words, so were soon losing interest, so in the end I sort of re-invented it into a much simpler game.

I can't believe how crap I was at this I didn't feel as if I was at all capable....

Moreoever, it sort of depressed me, 'cos I've realised this is the envirnment my DS is meant to be learning in and I wasn't really very impressed

Please help - strategies for next week required......

could you move to an older age group and do reading? that's probably easier!

As a parent helper, I wouldn't expect to be left with a group of children like that. In Reception I listened to them read individually, read the whole class stories, helped them one-to-one to form letters, that kind of thing - but I was never put in a position where I was expected to discipline the children or act as a teacher, and I wouldn't want to be.

Have a word with the teacher and tell her what you've told us. Maybe there are better ways that your talents could be utilised, maybe the teacher needs to rethink the way she uses parent helpers.

agree with WWB

This absolutely should not have happened. Kids know who is the boss (the teacher), and who has been flung in at the deep end. I'm really sorry that this was your experience - if it had been managed effectively (by the teacher) it should have been enjoyable and interesting for you, and beneficial to them.
Did you speak to the teacher afterwards?
Did you have time to really look at the game first?
Did you feel embarrassed and want to sink into the floor? They sense this and fly with it...
It's easy for a teacher to just assume things about other adults in the classroom, that they automatically know techniques that they themselves learned only through practice. (I'm guilty)
As a teacher I do know that adults in the class can be highly beneficial (not always, believe me, some will not stop putting in the correct answers in the children's boxes and doing the work for them) but it takes sooo much preparation sometimes to manage.
I will get back to you before you go in again with some practical tips.

i go in and often help with ds class reception class, there is usually five tables set out and i sit at one with 5 children - cutting or playing a game. i would have called the teacher over at the time and she would have dealt with it.

CalmOTO - I did speak to the teacher afterwards, and explained how I had modified the game, as I thought it wasn't working.

She then gave me a set of 4 children (some of the older in the class) who DID know the words better and were much more respectful.

Can any of the teachers out there give me some advice for keeping control - that was what shocked me most. I can't beleive my children would be so rude to an adult in their classrooms... (but I may be wrong...)

Gameboy, I parent-help too sometimes and I have been stuck in exactly your position. There is a lot of "winging it" (I see the TAs having to improvise, too).

Alas a lot of teaching is all about "management" of the unwilling and unable. Depresses me, too.

Find out what the discipline system is within the class (rewards and warnings), and whether teacher is happy for you to apply it. Don't be afraid to be firm with the little blighters.

If the teacher is reasonable she will understand and help you out. If you really don't want to handle them in a group she should be fine if you just do guided reading one-to-one... This will bolster your relationship with each child so that they are more likely to mind if you ever do get them in a group, again. If you can find a way to be firm with them, it's really helpful (to the children) to work in smaller groups (smaller beause you're there) doing their actual class exercises.

It will amaze you the difference between different groups of children within the same class, some barely pay attention and some will be 100% cooperative and enthusiastic. If you can do the same exercise with several groups, starting with the easier children, you'll really get good at it by the time you get to the barely-pay-attention group.

Oh, and help in mornings rather than pm, if you really don't want to faff about with discipline. They are more tired and uninterested after lunch!

Am back, DD has pooed on the floor again. No problems with pee (75% accurate) but for some reason doesn't want to poo on the potty.

By the way, don't feel bad - I did my first day as a student teacher feeling exactly the same, and really learnt most of the techniques on the job itself. (Have been teaching for 10 years)
The kids cannot learn in the sort of environment you were describing. And you will hate it. SO.

*Assume that you have control. I would 100% agree with Flack - they have to know that you do have control.
*Don't be tempted to threaten things that just won't happen (many adult helpers start off this way). Find out exactly what the teacher is prepared to let you punish them with or reward with (stars/points).
*At the first moment of poor behaviour, or tongue, or lip, as it were, WARN them that if anybody does that again they will... or that you will give their names to the teacher.
*For this to work you have to have the power to follow through or the teacher should. Either way it's vital to speak to the teacher and come to an arrangement.

• The teacher also knows the children well and could let you in on individual techniques. There have been some 'bad' children in my classes who are so used to being punished (at home, in school, in afterschool clubs) that any mention of punishment falls on deaf ears with a shrug of the shoulder. Sometimes it's enough to see other children getting rewarded for good behaviour. *So don't just focus on bad behaviour though. If you can stop the session after the first minute (with some children, one minute would be pushing it...) to praise how well behaved they have all been, that may well increase the motivation to stay good for another. *Also, don't be tempted to ignore any bad behaviour and pretend you just didn't notice. *Start off the next session firm and resolute, with whatever plan you and the teacher have come up with, ready to use. *Don't try desperately to get the kids to like you. I start the year very strict, very firm, stand for nothing. Think Mary Poppins, Chairman of the Board, whatever it takes (my DH does impressions of me, he's adult helped in my class...) and then after a very short time, when they discover you are in charge, then they can like you, you can relax and joke, but not until.

I'll be back. I do want to know how you get on.

If I think of anything else...

OK, sorry to jump in, but try this one out -helped at DD's reception class first time, great - involved, activities, etc. Next time, arrived to find a supply teacher. She asked me who DD was, got her to choose 3 friends, and then chucked us out into a freezing corridor (AKA "the library") for one hour to play two board games. Luckily the foursome were very nice and interested, but DD got bored after 40 minutes and started playing up. No-one came to check. I took them back in at the end of the hour, was ignored by the supply woman, and thanked curtly by the TA. So I left, thinking WTF was that about??? Still undecided about whether or not to complain. The other kids had done music, and DD was sad that she never got a chance to do music.

Toadstool - you are joking, surely??

Nope. I'm not joking at all. I didn't complain in the end - the problem is, I've already had a run-in with the school a term ago about a serious security problem so I'm a bit paranoid. If you think this sounds outrageous, perhaps I should raise it with the TA and ask her exactly what she made of it.