Only two weeks into being a 4 year old and starting school in September

[VilootShesCute]

Hi. Does anyone else have a very very young one starting school in September? If so did you consider delaying or waiting a year? I don't know what to do as dc is so young and I feel slightly pressured by school and really want stories from other parents so I can weigh it all up.
I know every child is different but my child will only be two weeks over 3! Sob.

We've just heard about our sons school place so find ourselves in a similar position. July birthday, I'm a sahm so he's been with me apart from 2 mornings at preschool 8.30-12.30. I'm not sure of the legalities of pulling them out at lunchtime as the place that is offered is a full time place and as such the child needs to be there all day, if you can't commit to those hours then the place will be offered to another child. We have discussed delaying reception by another year, but this s not law yet, you can request delaying and your reasons will be heard but generally it's only through a professional working with your child who will reccommend that delaying is in the best interests of that child. It's not just a question of thinking 'he's a summer baby, he's too young, we are keeping him back a year'
You have to remember how quickly they grow up and mature. If I keep my son back a year, when he starts reception all the other children will be much younger, how can a child grow in an environment where all the children will seem almost 'babyish' in comparison?
I know I'm rambling, some days I'm fine about him starting in September, other days I think it's too much. It's all new to me, my other child is October and has always flown through school, top of the class etc. of course this might not be anything tk do with when he was born, he's now in year 3 and abilities are just starting to even out.

There are plenty children who have August birthdays.
May is not going to be the youngest in the class by a long shot. They are not 'very very young' to be starting school. They are normal school starting age.

You've had lots of lovely support here, but I hope you don't mind me adding mine too. DD2 has a mid July birthday, and didn't get a pre-school place, so was going straight from playgroup to reception. She didn't seem as academically able as her older sister, and if we'd felt there was even half a chance of her getting a school place a few months down the line when she'd had a chance to mature a bit, I would have done that.

So, she started school at only just 4, we worried constantly about her academically, and socially (most of the DC in her class had been together at pre-school).

She is now in Y9, doing brilliantly academically, even doing a twilight GCSE in a subject she loves this year, and astonishingly socially confident with a wide circle of really lovely friends.

I think you'll always worry about it, but trust that you are doing the right thing. Good luck!

My DD is the youngest in her year with an end of August birthday. She has coped ok and even though she is a bit less mature than her peers she enjoys school.

Headmistress told me this morning she has a place at school. Pmt means I have been swinging between happy that she'll be with her older brother (same school) and crying bacause I think I'm resigned to her going! Pathetic I know when there are people over the world desperate for education and I feel very lucky in lots of ways living in the UK. Thank you to everyone who has posted. I made dh read the thread and he's brought up a good point that even if she starts as late as easter next year she'll still be the youngest in her year and always will be.

Yes- DD is an August bday and will start school a week after her birthday. School will not defer (not UK) but some children repeat reception if they can't cope. I think DD will be ok academically and "administratively" (Bum wiping etc) but she's a bit of a blunt tool socially, so I do worry about that a bit.

Congratulations on DD getting into your school of choice.

To echo what PP have said, I think there is a great worry that your DD is going to be the only just turned 4yo in a class of 5yo children and that is highly unlikely.

I know 'the plural of anecdote is not data' but hopefully the experiences of other summer born children reassures you. My eldest is late August born and she had just turned 4 when starting reception. Now, she is in Year 4 and is more than holding her own; she has been described as gifted in maths, science and reading by her former and present teacher. Apart from being much smaller than her peers, you really wouldn't be able to tell she is the youngest in her year group.

My DD2 has a 30th August birthday. I was really worried she wouldn't be ready as she was clingy, cuddly with nursery staff and loved being the baby. She matured massively over the Summer and socially has done really well in a year group of 90.

Now in year 2 reading is still slow but she is in the top group for numeracy. Still a cling on at times but she's happy at school.

She stopped napping at age exactly 2 so getting through the school day was not an issue for her. Bottom hygiene was though. At that age my DD2 had another 10 months of nursery to master it.

I'm a mid august child and started at 4+4 weeks (4 weeks late because my mum forgot I was supposed to start school) it was really fine and I wasn't even the youngest.

And school is so much more nurturing now than it was 30 yes ago.

We have a summer son who won't be starting reception. He's incredibly timid and shy (painfully so) and a worrier so he will stay at nursery for a bit longer

The age gap between his peers will be a bit smaller next year (emotionally not literally)

4 is just so incredibly young to start school. Google school starting ages I think England is joint youngest in the WORLD. I don't agree with it.

As much as I can understand some of the worries I just need to point out that it's a myth that there will be a just turned 4 year in a class with children almost a year older. This is not the case, in my own sons class for examle the majority of birthdays are between Jne and August, a few between Oct Znd Jan and the rest in between. Your child won't be the only youngest, they won't be the minority and the teacher will know how to deal with them. Struggling academically and socially, emotionally is also not exclusive to the ypungest in a year group, the oldest can face these hurdles just as strongly.

Yes bundles you're right about the struggling not necessarily affecting the youngest. When my son started school there were a couple of older boys who just hated being left. One cried every drop off for two years. My heart broke for the parents of that child, would have been terrible for them. I must think positively! Or dd will pick up on bad vibes and not want to go...

Btw dd1 was " data" she was in a study re young school starters. That showed that the ones who " suffered" from this perceived disadvantage were the prems who should have been sept/ oct borns.
Dd might have been " disadvantaged" by this but actually we were probably saved from all the G&t anguish of " is she being stretched enough" or putting her up a year ( the extreme end of being youngest in the year I guess) . Academically she is very strong indeed.

What I see on MN is the assumption that the class will be filled with September children. This is simply not true. There will be children born all through the year. In fact, DD1's reception class has most of the children in the later half of the year. I remember looking on the birth board and there's only 1 or 2 born in the autumn. Most are spring and summer.

And I agree with those who say all the children are so different. DD1 is spring born and she couldn't do buttons until 2-3 months after the school year started. Some children younger than her can already do that and also their own hair clips and pony tails. (DD still can't do her own hair)!

I agree HeadDreamer it is so variable the levels of maturity, it's a very individual thing. Apart from a few children whose birthdays I know, I would be hard put to tell you which of DS class mates are summer borns and which are autumn winter babies. DS friend for example is October and is physically smaller than DS who is mid August, developmentally and academically they are in the same groups.

The teachers also have been through this loads of times and certainly in my case were very reassuring.

I'd be really interested to cut the summer born child data to compare children who are older and younger siblings. My hypothesis (long word I learned from Dinosaur train) is that younger siblings fare better, at least socially, but no idea if that's true or not.

There's some good advice above on the practical considerations and it's always helpful to hear how others' children coped when starting school as thd youngest in the year.

However, IME, it is impossible to generalise. I was told by my (young for year's) DS'S nursery that they had never had a child who was so obviously ready to go to school, whereas his friend, also with a birthday at the end of the school year, was advised to wait a year before starting.

DS's independent, which is academically selective, and assesses the applicanrs for reception, has a few Summer born boys in every year who waited a year before starting school.

DD is a 31/8 birthday and started school 4 days after her 4th birthday. At her school there is no phased start, it is full time from day 1. Never for one second though about delaying her entry, they learn so much that first term (she was reading CVC words within 3 weeks) and friendships are formed - was definitely the right decision for her. She did get very tired though and we did have a few tantrums because of it but that got better after the first term.

DS was 4 years and ten days when he started school.
He takes his GCSE's this year.
THey grow up so fast.
Age is just a number.
Your support makes them thrive.

You don't have to send her to school now. Legally, a child has to be in school in term after his/hers 5th birthday.

I have used that right. My DD was 5 in March and will start school next week. She can read and write on the same level as her peers that have been going to school since September. Her numeracy skills are great.

She got a bit more time to enjoy carefree childhood without pressure and rigidness of being in a school. He can't wait to start!

Hope it helps, my daughters birthday is 27th of August but we went ahead and she started a week after her birthday. Our infant school does part time for summer babies until October half term which we did although it wasn't really necessary as it turned out! We tried really hard to make sure she had the basics before starting I.e. Dressing, doing up coats, confident toiletig etc but she has never had an issue and has always been confident and enthusiastic. She is now the you fest at her junior school (yr 3) and is meeting and exceeding all standards. I think a lot has to do with confidence theirs and yours. I know it's hard but not showing or projecting any worry. Someone has to be the youngest but the teachers are well equipped to deal with all sorts in reception.

My son is also an August birthday and starts next year (clearly didn't learn the first time) but I don't have any issues with him starting at 4 and working with what ever happens!

Good luck!!

DD2 had only just turned 4 when she started full time school (21st August birthday). She was a lot more mature than many of the older ones, to be honest, and never had any problems. Mainly (I think) because she has two older siblings. It depends hugely on the individual, so don't assume it's always the youngest who struggle.

The Reception year is very much an extension of preschool anyway.

DS is an early August birthday, academically he has been fine but emotionally he is lagging a bit, most of the class / year group of 90 are 8 now, he still has four mths or so to get there, I can see how so many of them have matured this year but DS is still quite immature. I don't want to force him to grow up too soon but at the same time 'he's a summer birthday' isn't really seen as a good enough reason when he does something silly or struggles to fit into the friendship groups.

However because DS is a big lad, wearing 9-10yr uniform now, he would have stood out significantly if we'd delayed his start at school (wasn't an option a few yrs back) and he possibly would still be the immature but the eldest!!

Thank you for all the reassurance. I guess all we can do is see how it goes in September and take it from there. Have a feeling she may struggle.

My dd is summer born, and she didn't cope well in Reception. She was 4 years, 3 months when she started school, so a bit older than other pp's dc. There were other factors involved in her inability to settle, though - her beloved teacher went on maternity leave in December and the school couldn't find a permanent replacement; they had 3 teachers job sharing the position and my dd had no idea who was teaching her on any given day. She felt very lost, not having a consistent face to turn to each day.

In the end, we home schooled her for about a year before sending her back to school (a different school - we had moved house due to a job change by that point).

She is in yr 1 now and doing much, much better. I think the time off helped her mature to a level where she can cope with school and I don't feel she has suffered at all. Her reading is improving by leaps and bounds already (she wouldn't work with me at home, so I left it - she's only five after all).