Sorry this may be long in order not to dripfeed.
DS is 7 (Y2). Since reception he has had an on/off friendship with another boy. On perhaps five or six occasions over the past 2.5 years we have been advised by the teacher that DS had been told off for hurting another child (usually the on/off friend). At no time was there any suggestion that this was any more than either normal playground games which got out of hand and therefore accidental but silly. Once it was retaliation in response to being hurt himself.
We had parents evening last week. No problems, apart from general games of "Tag" getting a bit rough - inc DS but not him in particular - and this was being dealt with by the school cracking down on the children as soon as it was occurring.
So, last night I had a call from the mother of the on/off friend. She stated that DS had been hurting her child and that this had been going on for some time. She said she had spoken to the teacher/school more than once but nothing had changed. She also said she had now written to the Head.
She was phoning to ask why it was happening, and what I was going to do about it. She clearly didn't believe me when I said it was the first I'd heard of it. (And surely the school would have been in contact immediately if there were any truth behind the allegations?)
DS is adamant that it is not true. He is aware that hurting another person is not acceptable, and is punished when he misbehaves at home (no treats / tv time etc) so knows that there are consequences to bad behaviour.
I don't believe that he is intentionally hurting this child or any other, but I fully expect he accidentally "causes" as many bumps/scrapes etc through playing that he receives.
I know that the friend hurts DS sometimes, (both accidentally and intentionally), and there are four or five other boys that are all playing the same games and presumably coming home with the same knocks and scrapes. But this mother seems to honestly believe that her child is a victim, and is identifying DS in particular.
So, what happens now? I've emailed his teacher and cc'd the Head to tell them that she had phoned me and why. The teacher confirms he will look into it and then come back to me, but is not aware of any on-going issues.
However, I'm really concerned that as the mother has decided that DS is deliberately causing her son harm and has presumably made a written statement to that effect the school will have to take matters further? I don't want DS branded as a thug or a bully on the say-so of one person?
Any words of advice please?