DD1's best friend is preventing her from making other friends in class

[Ripeberry]

Hi, my DD1 is in reception class and has a best friend who is a boy 6 months older than her and he turned 5 in november.
He lives 3 doors down from us and they have both been to the same class in pre-school where they were inseperable.
Problem is this.. he likes to hit people a lot and he has a hearing problem and behaviour problem (the youngest of 6 children) and the other kids seem to be the only ones who dissapline him, usually by hitting him hard.
No surprise really.
DD1 loves her friend but he is very fickle and will play with her for a bit and then leave her and go and play with his sister in yr3.
If my DD1 finds someone else to play with he will come over and hit that child and hit my DD1!
The teachers try their best to show him what is wrong but he is so possesive.
Would it be best if DD1 did not play with him at all? even if she quite likes him?
Her sister will start school in 2009 so maybe then she will have a "friend".
Just so hard isn't it?
AB

It is hard, but I don't think you can manage your children's friendships for them.
However, your DD should be able to play with other children without this boy hurting her or the other children.
I think if your DD quite likes him, then she should be allowed to play with him still. But she should also be free to play with others.
Could the school help further - maybe set up some playtime games for your DD, this other boy and some other children to play, so he gets used to playing less 'exclusively'?
This might help with his aggression, as he is probably scared of losing your daughter as a friend, and needs to learn that he can play with others, as can she, and still be friends with each other.

It sounds like there are two issues here - one being your dd not being "allowed" to make other friends the other that children are hitting each other at school on a regular basis.

You can help your dd make other friends by nurturing the friendships outside school (having another child from the class around to tea or to play for example). However, it sounds like the school is not doing enough to prevent the children getting hit....

I think it is common at this age for children to want to keep friends to themselves (more a girl thing than a boy I would say though). My ds has a friend in his class (friends from when they were toddlers) who one of the girls has "taken over". She doesn't like it if ds and his friend want to play together - even if she is included.

I would have thought that the school should be more active in intervening if he is hitting others. Have you spoken to the school?

On another note - I don't see the connection you seem to have made of him being youngest of 6 children and having a behaviour problem.

I would invite other children to tea and make her some friends on a one to one basis without the other child being able to interfer and then when they get to the playground they will be more established as they played last night.
On the hitting front I taught mine to say very loudly "don't do that" if anyone clobbered them to make the teachers aware that something was going on.