New memeber needing advice on DD1 reception reading.

[Helplease]

Ok, I have got myself into a right pickle with my daughters reading at school.
She started in September (reception) and has completed Phonics and blended letters, and did very well.
Now I have only been told recently that DD is very behind on her 45 word reading. I was not told I should do them at home and at the time they tested her (start of Dec) she could only do 4.
I have done them almost every night now, and she is able to read about 12-15 off the top of her head, but she is still struggling, I could do a word 100 times and she still wont know it.
Im getting so stressed, other mum's say their child can do 42/45 words etc and others have said they do them at school so well they do not need to do them at home really.
What SHOULD be average for my daughter to be picking up? I feel like such a useless mother right now.
I read the school books (x2) every night, plus she has a homework activity to do at the weekend plus her words, (personally I think this is way too much for her age) its just getting on top of me tbh...and DD goes to her fathers at weekends so I get very stretched for time even though i am a SAHM.
HELP!

My ds 1 was 2 months short of his 5th Birthdday when he "got it"

Don't worry, I bet she does know more of the 45 words that you think.

I really would talk to the teacher - say if you think there is too much pressure! And ignore what the other parents are telling you!

Thing is I have some close friends from DD class, and have seen the other childrens books, so I think that also got me stressed, maybe my DD is in a class of gifted children? I have no idea but she is picking them up, just not at the pace I thnk her teacher wants her to.

Things like that make me so cross. They have only just started school poor things. The 45 words as Enid said are supposed to be by the end of reception, not a few weeks into it.

If it is any consolation, DD really didn't get reading until after Christmas in Year 1, when she went from being able to read a few words vaguely to just clicking overnight and being able to read competently. She is now one of the better readers in her class.

I think as others have said at this point her enjoying looking at books is the most improtant thing.

Bozza (your son's little messages)

I am suprised that the school are putting this much pressure on her... after all learning should be fun.. Did they give you any games to play with her....
does the school do Jolly phonics?... does she know all her letter sounds, if not I would start here. I'm sure the school will provide you with some photo copies... I think its best to start with just a couple of sounds to start with, when she's got them, move on to the next 2 or 3 sounds.... (always going over the ones she already knows )its no good trying to learn to read if you don't know the sounds you are trying to say...

as for reading, this is how I helped mine... could cut the 45 words out and put them in a pot, pick out 4 easy ones to start with, a, I, mum, dad.. I think lots of praise is the answer... even if you are a bit over the top... ie "M-u-m... now what can this be... (you practically tell her if she is struggling.. then heap load of praise.). oh well done.. you are really clever... now which one say's d-a-d... I also think repetitiveness is the way to go as well... you could do this several times during the day, it doesn't take long... she could also hold them and point to the words she 's learning when she recognises them in the book that you are reading to her....
you could then make up silly sentences with them... MUM IS A CAT.. DAD IS A DOG... when you are sure she knows them get her to pick out 3 or 4 more words and add them to the others so she doesn't forget the ones she has already learnt... keep doing this till she's worked her way through them all...

Good luck... keep positive, you may find she will takes a backward step somewhere in the middle... this is quite normal...

just previewed this... sorry its so long

just read anything you and she likes - make it fun - show her the joy of reading - and leave it to the school to worry about the technicalities.

My DS1 is 5.5 in year 1 - he can't read yet - but he is noticeably improving all the time - BUT if we try and push him he clams up totally and won't even try. So we keep it very low key - he loves books and being read to - and given his own time will probably love reading himself. I just make comments like - "it will be great for you when you can read this yourself - then you won't have to wait for me to do it - you are really getting good with words/reading now." That gives him an incentive and makes him feel he is doing well.

Comments in his book from school are along the same lines - eg positive.

And they have never mentioned which words he "should" know - although presumably they are following the same curriculum as all other schools.

I feel so silly now, I just text my OH to tell him cos we were both worried, and I now realise its not me or DD its the flippin school!!
Maybe cos she is in the fulltime from September class they are pushed harder?
GRRR!

It is awful that your daughter is being put under this amount of pressure. Reception child vary a lot in age and development. Being four or five years old should be fun!

I think you should point out the Rose report to your daughters school. Learning words by sight vocabulary does not teach reading long term. There are thousands of words in the English language and it is impossible to remember them all. To be a confident reader a child has to learn how to blend. This is a difficult skill and takes time to master. Most of the 45 high frequency words are regular and your daughter will be able to read them plus thousands more once she is able to blend.

I suggest that you buy a copy of the Jolly phonics handbook. Jolly phonics also do a nice DVD and a CD of songs. The jolly phonics hand book has step by step instructions on how to teach a child to read as well as games to make it fun.

www.amazon.co.uk/Phonics-Handbook-Teaching-Reading-Spelling/dp/1870946073/sr=1-1/qid=1167910006/ref=sr_1_1/026-9710441-7393240?ie=UTF8&s=books

I think tescos might sell it cheaper than amazon.

IMHO there is no point in reading books until a child has some decoding skills. Otherwise they are doing nothing but guessing.

Other websites that might help you are

www.syntheticphonics.com/

www.rrf.org.uk/

They have some free resources. There is also a bullitin board there where [eople can give you more advice.

They stapled the 45 words to her reading record, apparently they should be doing them as well as reading.

BTW Dd can do ALL the joly phonics off the top of her head.

lol helpplease I was in your situation once

in fact I still am (dd1 is in a class full of hugely bright kids ) but I don't get stressed about it anymore (well, maybe periodically). Please please try not to worry.

dd1's school is a state and they also have a book a night (no homework though)

yes dd1 had those words in reception too, think its totally normal

just ignore the school then - and read whatever you like at home and make it fun. She will get it in her own time.

And early reading does not make your child gifted (and vice versa) - it just means it is something that caught their imagination early.

I know all the jolly phonic actions... (I work in a pre-school).. does anyone else want to snigger when they do the action for U or am I just really juvenile

LMAO! Umbrella! Even I know them...
Thats why I was so shocked and felt stressed cos, one minute they are learning Jolly Phonics and the next she is supposed to read 45 words!! Luckily DD loves the phonics so even blended letters were not too hard.
I cant beleive I didnt ask you all before! Thank you so much everyone you have been just fab!

Helplease - would like to echo the advice re reading lots to your dd. Don't let the chore of learning to read come between her and a good book!

DD1 took ages before the penny dropped - she was y5 before she came downstairs and said "Mum - I can read Narnia by myself!". She did have slight dyslexic problems and no matter how much 'memorising' of words she did be it for spellings or whatever, it she rarely retained it for long. But reading to her was a huge pleasure and released her from some pressure. Ignore the other mums - first time mums in the playground can be a really competitive lot IMHE.

Please, please try not to compare your child to the others, it will only stress you out.
My ds1 struggled with reading and writing and still does in yr 4. ds2 has just sailed along with no problems at all.
Every child is different and some just take more time than others for it to click.
Little and often works much better than trying to overload, why don't you set a target of say 5 words a week and any that haven't stuck can be carried on to the next week.
Usually it has nothing to do with how good a parent is with the support, so please don't think you are a useless mum, some children just pick it up really easily and others take a bit more time.
Now that my children are a bit older, I often think I had really unrealistic expectations of them when they were in reception, especially the first one.

Helpplease it sounds to me like you should concentrate on blending and reading deocdable books, and also teach your dd the remaining sounds that she has not been taught (not sure how many - has she done all 44 regualr sounds? If so move onto the alternatvie vowel sounds)

Once she has got a true grasp of phonics and is seeing success in using that to read she will fly. My dd was in YR last year and struggled with this ridiculous sight word and guessing stuff but once she knew all her phonics she could read anything - she is reading Secret Seven now at 5.5!!!

If you need decodable books, Jelly and Bean are good, the Oxford Reading Tree songbirds series is OK and of course the JP books themselves.

I would ignore the 45 words for now and focus on reading and blending - the more practise the better - and introduce them as 'tricky' words like JP does at a regular rate.

Good luck