bullying - primary1

[A]

ds has gone from loving to not liking school between August and now. We think he's being bullied, but he also doesn't help himself with his own behaviour (name calling etc). He has come home with bruises, scratches and cut hair, (which are fairly normal except they have all been attributed to the same 2 boys. I have spoken to his class teacher and head teacher but they say it's just high spirits and play, and that he is also quite difficult (which I also believe!!). He says the two boys "get" him in the play ground. Anyone any experience?

That is terrible! I've not had any experience as DD is still too little for school, but I was bullied at school to the point where I was recieving death threats from other kids. It was a horrible time and went on for quite a few years.

Have you tried to discuss this with your DS? Have you noticed any unusual behaviour from him? Just watching him playing might give you a few clues into whats happening.

I would go back and speak to the teacher again. You obviously know what your DS is like and can accept that to a point he may be difficult, but at the same time, it strikes me as strange that the same two boys names keep being mentioned. Explain to the teacher the change in your DS over the short period of time and tell him/her you want it sorted. Don't be fobbed off with the high spirits, kids being kids line.

Good luck!

unacceptable reaction from the staff .. do they have a bullying policy (anti-bullying of course) .. have you seen it

demand a plan of action

high spirits and play is normal for small children

.. would also suggest you divide and conquer with the '2 boys' .. invite them 1 at a time (with parent) for a playdate .. then you can supervise and watch the interactions and also maybe forge friendships

hth

Thanks, I'll try speaking again. I'm keep hoping things will get better but I'm really worried too.

you need to write down exactly what you want to say and acheive in the meeting

acknowledge your child's behaviour but stress how unacceptable the current situation is

try and think through what you would like to happen .. but leave it open for school to recommend plan of action

and put it in writing following the meeting so its documented ... like a memo with action points

then monitor it

don't forget you have governors too that you can turn to

things to bear in mind

there should be an anti-bullying policy .. and you should be able to see it

maybe a mentor (child / teacher) could be brought into play

proper supervision in the playground is also the remit of the school

a behavioural modification chart that works from school to home could help

hth (again)

totally unacceptable reaction from staff. ds1 only started school in september and loves it. he started coming home telling me how an older boy was throwing his coat on the floor every day in the playground. eventually i gleaned that he did it to no-one else just ds1. ds1 was not at all bothered but I felt it needed nipping in the bud as it was an older boy. I sent a letter in ds1's school bag. the school were fantastic. They spoke to ds1, then to the boy, he was told in no uncertain terms to knock it off and why it was wrong to pick on younger boys, by both the class teacher and the head teacher. Its all totally stopped . Ds1 was mortified and won't tell me anything now.

seriously, go back and tell them to do something.

Thanks very much for all that. I'll have to prepare to tackle the school after the holidays.

Can you get him to do a puppet show? (we've found this works as they aren't directly telling you)

I have the same thing with my DS in year 1 but he now keeps away from his "rough" friends and plays with a different group of boys. It s a tough cycle to break but DS got fed up of getting hurt, he was covered in bruises.

My difficulty lies in that I have been asked to childmind one of the "rough" lads because he likes my lad so much but my lad doesnt really like him and in fact wishes he would leave!!

That sounds like a good idea - we never get a full story at home, although he has been talking to me more about the break times, as things have gone on over the term.

That sounds like a good idea - we never get a full story at home, although he has been talking to me more about the break times, as things have gone on over the term.

oops, sorry