8yr old boy touched my daughter inappropriatley

[adders21]

My daughter, whilst doing handstands was touched between the legs by an older boy at school today. The head teacher told me that it was not an act of a sexual nature and that the boy was reprimanded. Should I inform the police? Or am I better to let the school handle things?

time my comment was in no way to belittle the situation that the girl was in. And I agree every child should be protected from abuse of any form both inside school and outside school from whoever.

As I said in my post, it may have been the actions of a boy being stupid, or it maybe the sign that he is on the receipt of abuse himself. And that deserves to be investigated. What happened to the girl was awful, it should not be belittled. But it was reported, stopped and the girl hopefully is being supported through any difficulties she has.

The boy also deserves this, but at this stage the degree of potential abuse is unknown. And so although perhaps I phrased my statement badly, I stand by what I meant. In child protection training you are taught to pick up signs of abuse. This is a big one.

Oh and not MN political correctness. Masses of child protection training.

I think it's worth adding in a conversation with your dd. How was her reaction? Did she actively tell someone or did a teacher on duty see it?
In a child friendly way maybe teachers should discuss respect for our bodies and personal space, and how we need to tell a child to stop doing something we don't like and off they persist then tell a teacher.
But in a separate discussion from this incident, maybe a Pshe session?

But I'm sure in most average schoolssomething like this would have already been done.

What happens with the boy next will not ( or should not!!) Be discussed with you anymore.

The school should absolutely not be telling you about the boy's history. If you want to report someone, report the teacher who told you that

The school should have referred this to social services immediately. The police will have minimal involvement as the boy is below the age of criminal responsibility.
Any investigation will be around why the boy has done this.

What kind of headteacher tells a parent about a child's history of inappropriate sexual behaviour with other children?

I have some experience in this area and I would be massively concerned about a head talking out of turn like that.

Oh, and initially the HT said it was NOT of a sexual nature but then did a huge u-turn overnight?

Odd that this wasn't mentioned yesterday! That isn't odd. They have a duty of care to him too. It is odd that they have now told your DW this. That would also cover the discrepancy of the sexual/non sexual touching comment, neither of which should have been said.

The HT should have said very little to you. Whilst I appreciate that your care and anger is for your DD the HT has an equal duty of care for the confidentiality and safety of both children. She has now broken that confidentiality and may need retraining, herself.

I know you don't have to care, I wouldn't give him a second thought if he did that to my daughter, but what if you were a less well adjusted individual and started to tell all your friends, the other parents what he HT has said? What might the repercussions be?

The HT has been very unprofessional. In worst case scenario, she would have contaminated / biased a possible witness statement. That is something that is very, very carefully underlined in all safeguarding courses, even more so for named person training.

I hope your DD is OK, and I hope you and your DW are coping with the whole thing. But, honestly, the HT has done noone much good here and, ideally, someone will tell her so!

This is why this kind of situation is hard to deal with to everyone's satisfaction. Staff cannot share with other parents information about other people's children especially information of such a sensitive nature. Actions taken rgearing the other child are confidential. They should be supporting your daughter if she is anxious but the rest comes down to if you trust school to act appropriately or not. If not you need a new school.

Emma. I have not accused anyone of lying so cut out the snide remarks.

However it can be that children are egged on to say things by other children that are not truthful. I have seen this happen so it is not impossible. I am sorry that this notion offends you. Of course children are believed but not all children are found to be telling the truth after investigation. There will hopefully be witnesses and it looks like the boy will be offered help. The child protection people involved will look at all aspects and it appears the school was aware all the way along. Would people on this thread like the boy to now be excluded as he is a danger to the girls? What should happen now?

Oh and not MN political correctness. Masses of child protection training
Really? As much as me?

Good for you and your wife for taking this seriously, OP, and ensuring that the school does too.

It almost beggars belief in this day and age when schools have CP and Safeguarding policies up to their ears that they even considered trying to minimise this.