Advice please

[Sonia2213]

My son came home with a paper gun today, apparently a lot of the boys had them. Am I overreacting to say I think this isn't right?

I'm not sure what you mean by a paper gun. Had they been folding paper and turning it into guns instead of paper aeroplanes?

What's a paper gun?

No he had actually made it, stuck things together etc

He had made a gun out of paper, cello taped it together

Folded paper looks like a gun? I think it is not right. How old is he?

Well, he clearly thinks it is right! I shouldn't imagine for a moment his teacher said , "Right, I'm just going to show you all how to make a paper gun" he probably made it himself in the craft/construction area.

Yeah , other boys had them too so teacher must of known they were pretending to shoot each other, he's 6!

As long as he was doing it at a time when he was allowed in the creative/making area and wasn't supposed to be doing something else, and as long as he was using materials that he was allowed to use I can't see the problem.

It would be a bit odd for a directed task, but if children were choosing what to make then I can see that a group of boys would decided to make guns. I don't like guns or gun play myself, but most boys have always loved them and presumably always will. I wouldn't see anything wrong with this.

Children make guns out of everything, lego, multilink, the number 7! You name it, they will turn it into a gun.

Ok thank you! Didn't want to make a fuss at school lol just never known this before

Interesting, admitedly I dont have a boy and my 8yrs old doesnt even know about guns(she knows swords etc but I doubt very much she knows anything about gun

It seems to be an almost exclusively boy "thing", some sort of built in imperative to turn everything into guns!!

Why is it a boy thing? My DD likes making guns and swords and things, not sure how an 8yr old could not know what one is. But weapons are part of learning about conflict it's hard to role play much goodie/baddie stuff without them.

DD is 9 and has a whole collection of toy swords, guns, lightsabers etc, some home made. She likes a good sword fight best. Agree, it is part of learning about conflict and totally normal at primary school age. Most of her class play WWI in the playground at lunch time. It's a popular game.

I am, and always have been, a 'non gun' parent. I have never 'forbidden' them, it is just the one kind of play that I have never, in any way, facilitated. So if DS made a gun out of lego and ran around the house shouting 'Pow', I put on my concentrated expression of no enthusiasm, and got very busy with something boring. if he wanted to fly around being a superhero, the washing up could DEFINITELY wait and I'd be swooping with the best of them, making him a cloak, finding the brightest pants to go outsider his trousers....

I have my comeuppance. DS's chosen obsession specialist topic in his favourite subject of history is ... WWII. Mind you, he's most interested in the politics and strategy, but he does also have a bit of a 'thing' for weaponry!

water pistles, laser gun parties, nerf guns... they get exposed at some stage.

I will ask my daughter tonight(in a way pretending its random talk, nothing serious) whether she knows anything about guns or what is it for? I doubt very much she knows anything. We admittedly dont watch news, movies that much. Mostly because we hardly are at home. Weekends are all the time in the park, going out, eat, sleep. Movies are mostly DVDs or theatre. She reads first news which we are subscribed for, I hope its age appropriate and didnt have subject about guns or what does it mean.

I am very conscious with many boys are playing computer games where its very very violent with people killing each other in the games from young age. We only have girls so its no head each for us about computer games yet. Wii is ok, we only have usual stuffs

Teacher I've an 8yo ds who's obsessed with WWII, his specialism is planes though he does still have interests in the other weaponry!
One of the highlights of his summer holiday a couple of years ago was going to a WWII day. He and another lad took possession of a vintage gun at the entrance to the bunker and spent the entire day demanding "Friend or Foe" at anyone wanting to come in.
The re-enactors took total charge of them and even shared their rations (toast and dripping) with them. I sat in the café and ate carrot cake and home made lemonade.

But having had a boy I have found it slightly strange that parents get totally het up over guns, but are happy with swords. Guns, at that age have a huge advantage over swords as they are totally non contact.

I didn't/don't like it when my children did/do play involving guns/killing people etc, but I use the approach that their nursery used, which makes sense to me.

Briefly, children have always played fighting/war games and it's fair to say that this is more popular amongst boys. By 'not allowing' this, we're criticising 'boy' play in favour of more sedate, playing with dolls role play that 'girls' do.

Rather than stopping it, explain that not everyone wants to be shot at in fun, so they must ask the person if they mind if they shoot them (or whatever violent play is involved - same as if they want to jump on someone.) Develop the role play aspect eg 'oh no, that really hurt, did you mean to hurt me? How do you feel if someone hurts you?' etc etc).

My dc's school also seems to encourage them to shout 'pill' rather than 'kill' during these games, which takes some of the horror out of it, I think.

Also, as they get older, you can talk about war, conflicts, the effects of families and communities etc so that they can develop their awareness and ideas more fully.

HTH.

"Pill" doesn't have quite the same ring to it'

No . But it does seem to enable them to shout what they consider expletives at each other, without making other children or adults shudder or wince.