In tears at the nativity play

[NOELallie]

For the usual reasons - little ones singing about babies and angels..and cos I've got reallybad PMT and everything is making me cry. But also because it just hit home to me that not once has my DS#1 done anything significant in any school production....he's been part of the chorus before (dressed as a sheep or a Roman soldier) actually made it to one of Joseph's brothers once (but there are loads of them). But I've never had that proud mummy moment when everyone's been looking at my son doing something special. It's par for the course TBH with the rest of his school work and I keep waiting in vain for some amazing ability to manifest itself - for one teacher to grab my arm in the playground one day and tell me something wonderful that DS#1 has done that has really pleased her. He's in yr5 now and seems to be going down hill fast at school.

I know it's stupid but you have such hopes for your child and he'll be at secondary school in 18 months time when life will get so much harder for him. I just feel so hopeless.

oh Noel....I'm sure an awful lot of parents feel like this actually. The majority of kids are the plodders, doing normal to middling, not standing out at anything....and the work of parenting is sooooooo hard that it's natural to want that moment of pride when you watch them do something outstanding.......

Just keep believing in him, supporting him and being loving and he will reward you in some way, at some time. Maybe not even in school, school doesn't bring everyone's abilities out and unfortunately it's boys who it doesn't seem to suit more often. But school isn't all of life.

Don't lose heart or lose faith with him

There are 90 children in my dd's year, so the chances that she will ever take a significant part in her year's Christmas play is very slim. But I am still proud of the work that she and the rest of her class put into their play. She may not have had much to say but she sang her heart out, danced like a pro, and worked with the other children to make the play run smoothly.

It's sad that they can't all have starring roles but there has to be shepherds, narrators, chorus parts - there wouldn't be a play otherwise. He did something special just by being in the play and doing whatever part he took to the best of his ability.

They can't all be stars in the classroom either, but you can still take pride in him. Be proud of him for whatever he achieves - they can't all be top of the class, and if he's plodding along somewhere in the middle then that's fine. All he can do is work to the best of his ability - is he doing that? Does he try to work hard, even if he's not soaring along at the top of the class? Because if he is then that's really all you can ask of him.

I think it's really sad that you feel this way about your ds. With my children I have always felt so proud whenever they have done something even if they don't have the main part. I don't really care whether other parents are astounded by their performances. To me my child is a star whatever their role. To actually get up there in front of an audience and do whatever they are supposed to do (or even a close approximation) is cause for celebration . Especially if it's something they are doing for the first time. It can be such a big event for the child even if most adults think it's everyday and mediocre. I find it amazing how children cope with things that some adults would find difficult. And just because there are 30 or more other children doing it too doesn't make it any less of an achievement to me. I think it's up to a parent to support and encourage their child and be happy for them when they do something well(even a bit part).
Hope the pmt gets better

I am proud of him when he acheives something - in school and out. I praise him for doing a kind act, or being thoughtful or understanding difficult concepts in our discussions. But truly, that is getting more and more rare. He seems to be going through a really bad patch atm - and in school nobody seems to have anything good to say about him - in fact the comments on his work are really worrying sometimes.

The lack of acting/singing prowess is the tip of the iceberg really. I do appreciate that not everyone can be up there in the lime light. I keep waiting and hoping, enouraging him and praising the good stuff he does do, but nothing really improves. Anyway I posted about this before so I'll shup up now.

BTW he didn't take part in the play. He was sitting in the pews joining in with carols (or rather not joining in most of the time from what I could see).

Just read this back and was horrified at how negative I sounded. I spent most of yesterday in tears about the kids - don't know why. I wanted to take them out of school and hug them close. Then when I went to get them I managed to pick a fight with DD . She was overtired too and being unreasonable but she's only 7 ffs!! Bless her, she forgave me and they were all very gently with me all evening. ... DS#1 can be a lazy little s*d and has no interest in school at all...but he's lovely in some many ways.

Anyway..sorry everyone who read my miserty yesterday. I think I need some St John's Wort - or a few weeks of work....

Sorry...'off work; obviously

Hope you are feeling better soon, NOELallie.
I think most of us have days where it all seems to be going horribly wrong and not at all how we imagined it would be and not for any particularly strong reason. Usually when we are tired and pressured (well for me anyway)and then the little things can get you down. Hopefully things will pick up soon. Glad things are getting a bit more in perspective for you.

I was exactly the same all the other girls are there in the fairy costumes or centre stage as Mary and my precious darling was a fecking traveller even her younger sister got a speaking part I hate school.

it is hard school it really is.

you just want your precious child to be so happy and when its a drudge for them it breaks your heart.