I am hoping that the MN community might have some experience of this and any advice on what to do next please. I'm sorry it is long but I'm really worried.
DS is 8.5 and in Yr4. We have moved house to a new area and so he started a new school in Sept. He was previously at an excellent state school, one form entry, everyone lived very close to the school and it had a great community feel. He had friends but has never been a boy to have a best friend and I suspect the friendships were there as a result of having known his classmates since age 4. He loved going however and not once did he cry or worry about school, his attendance was literally 100%.
Now he's at a private school, 2 form entry with 22 children per class. It is a lovely school with a generally nice ethos and good teaching. I am really happy with the teaching and DS enjoys the work.
However he has no friends. Not one. 
Often now before school he complains of headache, tummyache, feeling ill. He says it isn't because of school. He has had bad constipation and had a couple of days of school last half term as he was genuinely in a lot of pain. But I think the worry made it worse and I do think it is because of school.
It doesn't help that we live 10 miles away, about 45 mins journey in traffic, and many children are spread out around the area so it's not a "local" school. The school is very proud of their confident pupils, though imo sometimes "confident" could translate to "pushy and a bit rude". The parents are not especially friendly (again in contrast to the very inclusive, chatty school gate culture of the last place) though I appreciate that starting in Yr4 is not the easiest route to making friends at parent level. But I have met probably 2 or 3 of the parents of kids in his year, I couldn't tell you who any other of his classmates' parents are.
I have spoken to the teacher and she is helping a bit, alas the boys in the class are football-mad and DS just isn't. He doesn't like playing it, watching it, talking about it. He has no interest in learning more about it. His teacher's solution is that one lunchtime a week he should try to join in with the playground football game. On the other lunchtime (he has clubs for 3 days) they will find an activity he likes and try to get other children to join in with him. I see that this is a fair approach, but DS is so nervous of being rubbish at football that the idea of joining in with a rough and tumble game involving yrs4-6 is too much for him to contemplate. So he is going to the library to read by himself instead. Sometimes he plays with 2 or 3 of the girls, but they often run away.
He told me the other day that he doesn't like talking to the other boys as they don't have conversation that interests him. He didn't understand that conversations don't always start with what interests you (he is great at chatting with adults however). tbh he wants to talk about Minecraft or maths or the solar system and isn't bothered about X factor or football or Strictly or superheroes. I have tried to get him interested to give him some currency in the playground but he won't engage. He says he often eats on his own and doesn't chat as the dining hall is too noisy and gives him a headache. He gets pushed back in the queue too most days as other pupils go to join their friends ahead in the queue.
I think there are two problems, one is DS and whether he has something more than basic anxiety going on (eg the conversation, noise issues - possible SENs?) and the other is whether he is just in the wrong school, full stop. I could look at moving him to a state primary, much nearer, bigger classes - but I cant' guarantee he would make friends, and he's just gone through the whole new home / new school transition - can I really put him through another new place?? Unfortunately DH's job means we are likely to move again before the end of primary school which makes it even worse.
If you have read all of this thank you. I didn't want to leave out crucial info. And just to clarify despite the user name I'm female!