4.30pm dinner at childminders or 6.00pm dinner at home?

[Sylviapearl]

I am a single parent of twins who were 4 at the end of August. They are in reception and since September I have been looking for a job. I have now found one which is 9-5pm Monday to Friday. Dds will be going to a childminder before and after school. They will be the only children there after school, the childminder said she could provide them with a cooked meal at 4.30pm if required (I will be collecting them at 5.30pm) I'm not sure whether to take her up on the offer as I will still need to get my own dinner in that case after the twins go to bed at 7. It's either that or do a slow cooker/salad/stir fry/ pasta for us all which would be ready by about 6.00/6.15pm. Having never worked before I am not sure which would be best? Twins are also very tired as they are so young so I'm not sure how they are going to cope with me working, and the car journey home which could potentially send them to sleep! Any advice appreciated! This is a big change for us all. I am also a total single parent with no contact from the father of that makes any difference (I.e. Im knackered!)

DD has a cold tea at nursery at 4 (hot meal at lunch time). When we get home at 6 she has some toast or cereal. She wouldn't be able to last for me to make something for her at that time.

School lunches, dinner at CMs - perhaps do a Friday tea that's special (and easy!): pizza, hot dogs, whatever their favourite is. And make the most of the weekends. Honestly, the after-school slot once they are at school is not so much quality time anyway, I find!

Good luck with the new job, OP. Make it as easy as possible for yourself, and then you will be less stressed and able to make it as easy as possible for them too. Single parent to twins is amazing, well done you!

For yourself cook something every other night and reheat on the other nights. Perfect.

I dream of this sometimes, although I very much love my dh.

Yes Leaving - we do dinner at work about 4.30ish

I can't push bedtime back for 8pm we need to leave the house at 8am so would need to wake the twins at 7am for breakfast, get ready for school (and get them to do a poo!!) they need 11.5 to 12 hours a night or they would fall asleep at school! I do admit I thought 4.30 does sound early, but if they go to bed at 7 I guess it isn't really?

Thanks for all the advice. I am going to speak to the childminder tomorrow and let her know I would love dinner in the week for them. I just need to make sure I don't end up eating ready meals at night! I like the idea of having a big lunch and then toast in the evenings but I'm a bit of a pig and don't think I could manage on a peace of toast.

There are no cooking facilities at work so I need to prepare something like a sandwich I think. The twins have school dinners although they tell me they are quite small portions!

Can you provide a dinner for the childminder to reheat? I don't cook meals, it's too stressful trying to cook when I've got little ones around, and try and get them to eat in time for pick up. Do they get the free school meals? Is it important that they have a hot dinner at school and then a hot meal in the evening as well? Or could you provide sandwiches for tea, then they could have a hot snack when they get home, like eggs, or beans on toast?

I'm a lovely childminder for several families in your position I plated up an adult portion of tea for mum/dad to take home and have once the children were in bed.....but I did charge for it!

Oh wow that is amazing of you katymac, I wouldn't dare ask for the lady I have found to do that for me though, I would feel a bit cheeky! Maybe I could batch cook extra at the weekends and freeze it. I just dont want to end up eating the same thing every night though, it will be depressing enough eating on my own as it is, without spag Bol 5 nights a week lol, I need to learn some new batch cooking recipes I think! Or maybe I could make a substantial salad or something!

I don't know Sylvia.

My children have never gone to bed before 8pm. They seemed to do fine on 11 hours (or much much less!) per night.

Frozen jacket potatoes are brilliant when you need a "proper" tea quickly but can't summon the enthusiasm to cook

I would definitely let them have dinner at the cm's.

Mine go to a cm two nights a week until 6pm and tbh it's a relief not to have to worry about feeding the dc on those two nights. One less thing to do, it's like a break

I find that on those two nights dh and I rarely feel like cooking 'properly' so we'll have leftovers, scrambled egg on toast, a toasted sandwich and salad etc. If it was more than two nights a week though i'd try and batch cook a bit so that I could eat something 'proper' a few nights a week.

It will be good if they have some food at the child minder; mine are normally very hungry after school; it will be stressful when everybody get home hungry and tired at 6pm including you. They can either have a good snack at the child minder and small dinner with you or dinner at the childminder and snack with you; depending on the current routine and how much they eat. Some days you may not even feel like cooking; by Wednesdays I am quite tired and do not feel like cooking after 3 days of school run, work, etc.

My 4-year-old daughter is always very hungry after school, despite eating what sounds like a reasonable amount of her school dinner. I think tea at 4.30 is fine for younger children after school, with a top-up snack before bed if they need it. School lunch is often quite early - 12ish - and if they happen not to have eaten well that lunchtime, they'll be starving. Better to get a proper meal into them while they've still got the energy to eat properly.

I haven't read the whole thread so there may already be a consensus...but definitely dinner at childminders'. It'll take huge amount of pressure off you in the evenings esp when everyone is tired. With their tummies full you can have a nice calm chat with them about the day, read books and enjoy bath time without (m)any psychotic episodes.
Toast/snack/milk before bed should see them through the night.

During the weekends you can eat all meals together and not miss out on the social aspects of this (there is nothing fun or social about meals with a tired child)!

I would definitely do dinner at the CM. My daughter has school dinners then snack tea at after school club and will often have another snack at about 6pm. Then she'd be in bed by 7pm. She'd have never lasted until 8pm at that age anyway it would have been awful meltdowns all the way but she would have been up and awake by 7am.

You will soon get in the rhythm of organising your own meals. Definitely look at making meals that you can have for a couple of days - soups, pasta sauces are good for this - which won't take you long to cook for yourself. But even things like cooking fish are easy to do - just put it in the oven for 20 minutes and it's done, or omelettes. Summer is easier because you can just eat loads of salads. I'd recommend meal planning in advance so that when you come home you know what you are making rather than having to scrabble around thinking for things. There are plenty of recipes for meals which only take 20 minutes or so to cook.

I would go for the later option. 430 is ridiculously early to eat dinner. It would be nice for you to eat together as a family when you get home.

I'd go for dinner at the cm and a snack before bed if they are still hungry. It cuts out an awful lot of stress for you after work. You can then see how it goes and when the twins get older they can move to an afternoon snack at the cm and then dinner with you. Good luck with your new job!

I would definitely take her up on the offer but maybe keep the Friday free for a family meal!

When I worked full time our nanny fed the kids before I got home and it was so much easier getting home and spend some quality time with them rather than having to cook for hungry irritable kids!

Good luck

I agree you are doing the right thing having cm give them tea. There is nothing worse than tired and hungry children.

Good luck on starting your job!

The twins will be entitled to free hot dinners at school, it's for reception to year 2. I would say 90% of children at my Dd's school take it up. It's great, she does after school club when I'm working where she has a wrap Or beans on toast around 4:30 and that's fine for her. Milk and biscuit at 6 at home then bath and bed for about 6:45pm. Seems to be similar routine for other 4yr olds and this works really well. You'll be surprised how tired they are by 5:30 - 6 after a day at school.

Mine both eat a hot meal at school but are always starving by getting home by 4pm, so we eat another hot meal at 5-5.30.

Mine are 4 and 5, they have a hot school dinner everyday, but I still give them a full regular meal in the evening. We eat around 7pm so 4.30pm they wouldn't be hungry enough to eat much