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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

What would you think of this?

33 replies

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 11:47

So, after halfterm, new child in the class, moved from another class.(Don't know why, but must be a reason.)
Class room has only 30 seats around the tables. Your child has been bumped out of original seat and made to sit on her/his own in the corner. The child feels sad.
AIBU to feel upset?

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Pico2 · 08/11/2015 11:49

I'd clarify the situation with the teacher as stuff gets a bit garbled from children. But if that was actually the case I'd be unhappy.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 12:03

I asked the teacher, and that was her answer. I'm sure the teacher will be sorting out the situation now, but I'm getting more upset when I think about it, that my child was chosen to sit alone, not like few children take turns. I may be overreacting, but don't want to see your child feeling hurt for no reason.

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chapca · 08/11/2015 12:19

What reason did the teacher give?

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 12:32

Arrival of new child.

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Only1scoop · 08/11/2015 12:35

I'd be wondering why a desk or seat can't be popped next to another so child doesn't have to sit alone.
Seems odd.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 12:37

I have told her my dc is feeling sad, and her response( a note) didn't give any reason rather than arrival of new child, and said " I will see what I can do." and no explanation of why my child had to be odd one out.
Seat plan was on the wall when my dc arrived at school after break.

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Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 12:50

Only1scoop, that's what I thought. It may not be ideal, but push extra chair to the table seems no big deal.
And if I didn't mention about it, did the teacher carried on with this?
Little bit disappointed with teacher for being insensitive to the child's feeling. Before I found out the new child, I assumed it was some sort of punishment for chatting or distracting, but apparently not.

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MrsKCastle · 08/11/2015 13:05

Bizarre and insensitive on the teacher's part.

I recently moved a child to sit 'on their own' but a) I explained my (perfectly valid) reasons to both child and parent, before they had a chance to ask about it, b) I checked that the child and parent were happy and c) the child is not actually 'on their own'much of the time as tthey're often able to choose a companion to sit with them. Child really likes the new arrangement.

The teacher in the OP may have valid reasons, but should be prepared to have a discussion about it.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 13:38

Thank you.

I have no intention of bringing it up again, since I already told her my child wasn't happy.

I just wish she did it like you.

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Jhm9rhs · 08/11/2015 15:05

I wouldn't let it drop if it continues....I'd discuss it face to face.

Canyouforgiveher · 08/11/2015 15:14

Presuming you and the teacher aren't at cross purposes (as in the chair alone in the corner is actually at the end of another bench and part of the group) ...

I wouldn't be happy with that response and I wouldn't let it lie. I'd ask to meet the teacher, tell her your child feel sad and isolated in the current arrangements and this is affecting her learning and social integration in school and you would like her to change the arrangement now - whether it be adding a chair to a table or creating a new table of 3 in the corner.

I wouldn't let it lie and watch my child go into school every day to sit on her own.

admission · 08/11/2015 18:10

There are clearly times when this might be appropriate but the way you describe it, if your child is sitting separately from others who are all on table then I would not be happy at all about that.
The teachers response is also less than comforting because it suggests that the idea of a child being sat on her own and not being acceptable had failed to enter their head.
You need to establish where exactly child is sitting but if on own I would expect teacher to now deal with this in the next week or I would be seeking a meeting with the headteacher to ask why your child is being discriminated against.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 08/11/2015 18:28

Thank you for reply, everyone.
I left a message on Friday, and got a response, so I will see how it goes.

I can understand if the other child's change of class was last minute, and if there was sensitive reason, I would understand she couldn't be the one to sit on her own.
I just wished that teacher explained the situation to ds and myself, so we can understand what was happening.
Hopefully, she has sorted out the situation by tomorrow.

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Fairenuff · 09/11/2015 18:57

How was it today OP?

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 09/11/2015 19:20

Well not so good.
My dc was allowed to sit at absent child's seat.
but, if nobody is absent tomorrow, I don't know what the teacher is going to do.
I will wait few more days, and will speak to the teacher, if nothing happens.
Thanks!

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clam · 09/11/2015 19:37

Well, I'm a teacher and I think that this is out of order. As you say, see what happens tomorrow/next day/when "absent child" returns and then follow it up.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 09/11/2015 20:29

Thank you clam, I will.
I really don't understand what teacher is thinking.
I really hoped she has sorted something out by now. She had a whole week already. Or some explanation. Her reply to us on Friday, " I will see what I can do" , sounds like she doesn't think this is serious matter.

Hopefully, she might be waiting for bigger table or something.
Very disappointed.

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MythicalKings · 09/11/2015 20:52

If the classroom layout means that one DC has to sit on their own then it would seem fair to rotate the solo place on a weekly basis.

Canyouforgiveher · 09/11/2015 22:27

Rainagain, I am the least "go up and speak to the teacher" parent there is but I would really not leave this a few days. I might be wrong but is this your first child in school? I have had 3 through various schools now all in their teens. I have always approached teachers as collaborators and people who could teach me something about my kid and they have but I would simply not put up with this. I would smile at the teacher and say "my child is not to be on her own in the classroom removed from the other children, please make sure that happens".

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 10/11/2015 09:31

MythicalKings, class room is tiny, so it makes sense. Only wish the teacher did it as you say.

Canyouforgiveher, yes, dc is my first. Thing is, the teacher is NQT, she might be overwhelmed by dealing with new child and everything else,
she may be having a hard time organizing everything. I was prepared to wait.

But I heard this morning from other parent, the absent child is on holiday or something, and won't be back for another week. I doubt that she will sort out the situation soon.
The thing makes me wonder is, there was empty chair whole week last week(according to my dc), but teacher didn't let my dc sit there until I mentioned how my dc was feeling. Children was seated according to seat plan.

I don't know... part of me want to complain straight away, but other part feels like I should wait until other child comes back and see what happens. I am not scared of being "that parent", but the teacher is new, I don't want to make her feel like she wants to quit because of pushy parents.

Anyways, sounds like I am not overreacting about the situation, it was good to know. Sometimes, I can be too blind to see the truth, when it comes to my child.

Thanks for advice.

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Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 10/11/2015 19:37

Nothing changed today, as expected.
I am really stuck, I don't know what to do. My dc is ok, since he is not alone(well at least until the child comes back from holiday), but I don't know if this ever get sorted out or not.

Since there is temporary solution, I'm not sure if I speak to the teacher now, I maybe treated like a crazy parent?
I really appreciate your opinion, especially from teachers, do I sound like over protective parents who doesn't get school system, and making your life difficult if I speak to the teacher now, and ask her what is going on and what she is planning to do?

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cansu · 10/11/2015 19:41

I am sure she will rearrange when other child returns. She has clocked your issue and has probably mentally filed it as sort out when needed ie when other child comes back. I think you are over thinking it. If she forgets pop in and have a word.

StealthPolarBear · 10/11/2015 19:46

Surely if one child needs to sit off the table (presumably on the floor) she could have moved a small group of three or four. Sure she could have come up with some sensible logic.

Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 10/11/2015 19:58

I hope you're right, cansu.

StealthPolarBear, not on the floor, my dc was given a chair to sit by some sort of counter? And made to sit there whole week, on his own, even there was a empty chair due to absent child.

I really hope I'm just over thinking, and everything is going to be fine...

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Original poster

Rainagaintoday · 10/11/2015 20:01

I think the fact child being absent and temporary solution is available made the simple situation even more complicated for us.

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